Adult Content Warning

This community may contain adult content that is not suitable for minors. By closing this dialog box or continuing to navigate this site, you certify that you are 18 years of age and consent to view adult content.

It's Pronounced "JIF", Weekend Drunk Thread

Discussion in 'General Discussion' started by Nom Chompsky, May 31, 2013.

Thread Status:
Not open for further replies.
Page 8 of 25
  1. Rush-O-Matic

    Rush-O-Matic
    Expand Collapse
    Emotionally Jaded

    Reputation:
    1,363
    Joined:
    Nov 11, 2009
    Messages:
    12,570
    That's no defense. "One" and "Shoe" don't follow rules and stand as the only words pronounced their way. Nobody champions the cause to pronounce them "Own " and "Show".

    That typo is fucking hilarious.
     
    #141 Rush-O-Matic, Jun 1, 2013
  2. Popped Cherries

    Popped Cherries
    Expand Collapse
    Emotionally Jaded

    Reputation:
    154
    Joined:
    Oct 26, 2009
    Messages:
    1,754
    Location:
    NY
    I've been "blessed" with girly handwriting. It's very big, loose and loopy(just like your mom's vagina), but at least I don't dot my I's with little hearts. I think that would be pushing things too far.

    I've ingested large quantities of alcohol tonight and I ate enough steak where I may poop out a baby cow in the morning. This makes me both happy and sad. Why does the steak not want to stay inside me? Stupid steak.

    In more exciting, but less fecal news, my GF brought by our doggie tonight and we played in the yard for hours. He's a Dachshund and that little fucker is such a good dog.

    I have to be at work in 4 hours.

    This post has been brought to you by the letter F, and the package store down the street.
     
    #142 Popped Cherries, Jun 1, 2013
  3. Bundy Bear

    Bundy Bear
    Expand Collapse
    Emotionally Jaded

    Reputation:
    136
    Joined:
    Dec 16, 2009
    Messages:
    2,127
    Location:
    Blue Mountains, Australia
    I've had the bush-fires and floods thing happen not too far from me and I've been in a couple of cyclones when I was living up in Nth Queensland. Last one I was in was a Cat 4 that I slept through. Only person that died was some fuckwit that started his generator inside without any ventilation.
     
    #143 Bundy Bear, Jun 1, 2013
  4. toytoy88

    toytoy88
    Expand Collapse
    Alone in the dark, drooling on himself

    Reputation:
    1,264
    Joined:
    Oct 20, 2009
    Messages:
    8,763
    Location:
    The fucking desert. I hate the fucking desert.
    Aunt: Toytoy! TOYTOY! TOOOOYTOOOOY!

    Me: What;s wrong?

    Aunt: I need three pills.

    Me: Why do you need three pills?

    Aunt: Are you stupid? What's wrong with you?

    Me: What pills do you need?

    Aunt: Pills. PILLS PILLLLLLS! Three of them you dumb ass. What"s wrong with you?

    Me: Okay, here you go...

    I gave her three raisins and a sip of water, crisis averted.

    I hope none of y'all ever have to go through this because it sucks ass.
     
    #144 toytoy88, Jun 1, 2013
  5. Frank

    Frank
    Expand Collapse
    Emotionally Jaded

    Reputation:
    6
    Joined:
    Oct 20, 2009
    Messages:
    3,351
    Location:
    Connecticut
    I'm honestly shocked cursive is still being taught at all. It was completely worthless when I learned it 20ish years ago, and we're still wasting formative education time teaching it? Jesus.

    Talk to people who have taken classes in a language that actually makes sense.
     
    #145 Frank, Jun 1, 2013
  6. Revengeofthenerds

    Revengeofthenerds
    Expand Collapse
    ER Frequent Flyer Platinum Member

    Reputation:
    1,080
    Joined:
    Feb 26, 2011
    Messages:
    13,451
    So I got bit by a non-venomous snake (rat snake) last night.

    It sucks.
     
    #146 Revengeofthenerds, Jun 1, 2013
  7. Frank

    Frank
    Expand Collapse
    Emotionally Jaded

    Reputation:
    6
    Joined:
    Oct 20, 2009
    Messages:
    3,351
    Location:
    Connecticut
    In unrelated news I still haven't gotten my first solo skydive in because of the fucking wind, today looks like it might be the day though, here's hoping.

    If things don't pan out, I leave my Tucker Max books to Nom.
     
    #147 Frank, Jun 1, 2013
  8. Juice

    Juice
    Expand Collapse
    Moderately Gender Fluid

    Reputation:
    1,452
    Joined:
    Oct 19, 2009
    Messages:
    13,970
    Location:
    Boston
    Anyone else ever get into the situation where you're trying to jack off but mid stroke you realize you have to poop and it becomes a beat-the-clock situation?
     
    #148 Juice, Jun 1, 2013
  9. Bundy Bear

    Bundy Bear
    Expand Collapse
    Emotionally Jaded

    Reputation:
    136
    Joined:
    Dec 16, 2009
    Messages:
    2,127
    Location:
    Blue Mountains, Australia
    Never, but I did get caught once finishing off when the owners of the house I was living in knocked on the door for a random unannounced chat and opened the door wrapped in a towel.
     
    #149 Bundy Bear, Jun 1, 2013
  10. Gravy

    Gravy
    Expand Collapse
    Emotionally Jaded

    Reputation:
    256
    Joined:
    Feb 25, 2012
    Messages:
    1,715
    Location:
    The void.
    Sounds like a great way to develop a new fetish.
     
    #150 Gravy, Jun 1, 2013
  11. The Village Idiot

    The Village Idiot
    Expand Collapse
    Porn Worthy, Bitches

    Reputation:
    274
    Joined:
    Nov 23, 2009
    Messages:
    3,267
    Location:
    Where angels never dare
    Yeah, now imagine that situation and the hooker is waiting for the facial.

    Gets downright uncomfortable.

    Not that I'd personally know, or anything.
     
    #151 The Village Idiot, Jun 1, 2013
  12. Revengeofthenerds

    Revengeofthenerds
    Expand Collapse
    ER Frequent Flyer Platinum Member

    Reputation:
    1,080
    Joined:
    Feb 26, 2011
    Messages:
    13,451
    And then post on a message board before you finished up?
     
    #152 Revengeofthenerds, Jun 1, 2013
  13. Juice

    Juice
    Expand Collapse
    Moderately Gender Fluid

    Reputation:
    1,452
    Joined:
    Oct 19, 2009
    Messages:
    13,970
    Location:
    Boston
    There's no way Im posting on a message board with a poop smeared ass. I clean that shit son.
     
    #153 Juice, Jun 1, 2013
  14. Gravy

    Gravy
    Expand Collapse
    Emotionally Jaded

    Reputation:
    256
    Joined:
    Feb 25, 2012
    Messages:
    1,715
    Location:
    The void.
    In all fairness to Juice, he was already looking at Nom's avatar.
     
    #154 Gravy, Jun 1, 2013
  15. hooker

    hooker
    Expand Collapse
    Emotionally Jaded

    Reputation:
    0
    Joined:
    Oct 20, 2009
    Messages:
    2,154
    One of my best guy friends is getting hitched today. Yay!

    New dress, new heels, new pearl necklace (not the kind I'd hoped for), nails painted, tan activated... and I'm ready to get smaaaaaashed. Euro trash, right here. Not ashamed.
     
    #155 hooker, Jun 1, 2013
  16. Nom Chompsky

    Nom Chompsky
    Expand Collapse
    Honorary TiBette

    Reputation:
    68
    Joined:
    Dec 23, 2010
    Messages:
    4,706
    Location:
    we out


    Mystery solved.
     
    #156 Nom Chompsky, Jun 1, 2013
  17. iczorro

    iczorro
    Expand Collapse
    Emotionally Jaded

    Reputation:
    107
    Joined:
    Oct 19, 2009
    Messages:
    3,541
    Location:
    The Island
    You're a European?

    [​IMG]
     
    #157 iczorro, Jun 1, 2013
  18. hooker

    hooker
    Expand Collapse
    Emotionally Jaded

    Reputation:
    0
    Joined:
    Oct 20, 2009
    Messages:
    2,154
    Well, no. I'm 100% Canadian. My dad was born in Italy and my mom is Czech. But my outfit and my tan scream Euro trash.

    [​IMG]
     
    #158 hooker, Jun 1, 2013
  19. Juice

    Juice
    Expand Collapse
    Moderately Gender Fluid

    Reputation:
    1,452
    Joined:
    Oct 19, 2009
    Messages:
    13,970
    Location:
    Boston
    You're Canadian, you're Euro trash by default.

    Also, it looks like the rest of the board wants me to poop on you or something, you game?
     
    #159 Juice, Jun 1, 2013
  20. hooker

    hooker
    Expand Collapse
    Emotionally Jaded

    Reputation:
    0
    Joined:
    Oct 20, 2009
    Messages:
    2,154
    Not down with the poop! Just the Golden Showers. You game?
     
    #160 hooker, Jun 1, 2013
(You must log in or sign up to post here.)
Page 8 of 25
Thread Status:
Not open for further replies.