James Lipton, you smug bastard

1. What is your favorite word? Fuck
2. What is your least favorite word? Moist
3. What turns you on? Two tits, a hole, and a heartbeat
4. What turns you off? Whining and complaining
5. What sound or noise do you love? The crackling of fire
6. What sound or noise do you hate? The neighbors barking dog
7. What is your favorite curse word? Fuck
8. What profession other than your own would you like to attempt? Pilot
9. What profession would you not like to do? Tower climber

Spoiler

10. If heaven exists, what would you like to hear God say when you arrive at the pearly gates? "Pull up a stool, we were just about to get another round."

 

1. What is your favorite word? Phantasmagoria
2. What is your least favorite word? Hater. That word is the downfall of society.
3. What turns you on? Girls who bite their lower lip and smile while talkng to you. That, and strangling hobos.
4. What turns you off? Being interrogated for ANY reason. I'll punch you in the fucking face and you WILL like it.
5. What sound or noise do you love? That sound feet made when characters started to run in Hanna Barbara (Flinstones and the like) cartoons. What instrument made that noise? I would turn my speakers out my windows like a college douchebag and blast that heaven wave into my neighbourhood all goddamn day. It never fails to crack my shit up.
6. What sound or noise do you hate? Microphone-amp feedback. There is no sound more soul-shattering on this earth.
7. What is your favorite curse word? Fucktard.
8. What profession other than your own would you like to attempt? Movie art director/set designer.
9. What profession would you not like to do? Flatroofing. Again.
10. If heaven exists, what would you like to hear God say when you arrive at the pearly gates? "South."

After the tenth question, I shall slip on coal miner's gloves and start pummelling James Lipton's face, screaming THIS IS FOR KISSING THE ASS OF DOZENS OF HACKS, YOU POMPOUS TWO-BIT NOTHING!!!!!!! He would wipe the blood away, and in his smarmy, fake accent flourish

"You, sir, have done me no less honour than aligning the very sercrets of the comsos with that ass-beating. You are society's bravest, mightiest soldier and you carry the weight of the world on your shoulders like Atlas himself. Please have sex with my lovely wife. Worry not, I will just watch and nod my head in appreciation, never uttering a word. If you wanted to hear a filthy rat speak, than that wouldn't make you a god, would it?"

FUCK YOU AND DIE, YOU STUCK-UP HACK.

 

1. What is your favorite word? Fiduciary!

2. What is your least favorite word? Groovy

3. What turns you on? Yardwork.

4. What turns you off? Dishonesty.

5. What sound or noise do you love? Thunder (of every variation; loud sharp cracks, soft rolling thunder, etc.)

6. What sound or noise do you hate? Dental drill.

7. What is your favorite curse word? FUCK!

8. What profession other than your own would you like to attempt? Porn star without question.

9. What profession would you not like to do? None of them.

10. If heaven exists, what would you like to hear God say when you arrive at the pearly gates? Happy now?

 

1. What is your favorite word? Finished. As in I'm finished with my work, or "we're finished". It always leads to something better eventually.
2. What is your least favorite word? Somebody.... As in "be a somebody".
3. What turns you on? Good conversation, half the world owns a vagina, but only a fraction of them can really capture my attention beyond that.
4. What turns you off? Not having any sort of interest in a person beyond aesthetics.
5. What sound or noise do you love? Gunfire, the laughter of a beautiful woman, and oddly enough sirens on emergency vehicles (my parents were volunteer EMT's when I was younger, and sirens were a common sound when I was growing up.)
6. What sound or noise do you hate? Car horns and phones ringing/buzzing/vibrating.
7. What is your favorite curse word? Cunt.
8. What profession other than your own would you like to attempt? To be honest, I wouldn't mind being the caretaker of a cemetery/grave digger. Not a fancy job, but I've never been one to set my standards high.
9. What profession would you not like to do? Anything that requires long hours behind a desk sitting on my ass; i.e. any office job in any capacity.
10. If heaven exists, what would you like to hear God say when you arrive at the pearly gates? "Go back and try again."

 

1. What is your favorite word?
Soliliquy.
2. What is your least favorite word?
Comprimise.
3. What turns you on?
Speed.
4. What turns you off?
Willful ignorance.
5. What sound or noise do you love?
My son laughing.
6. What sound or noise do you hate?
The phone ringing.
7. What is your favorite curse word?
Jesus.
8. What profession other than your own would you like to attempt?
Film directing.
9. What profession would you not like to do?
Anything mindless.
10. If heaven exists, what would you like to hear God say when you arrive at the pearly gates?
You're not a fundamentalist, are you? C'mon in.

 

All off the top of my head and not giving it much thought.

1. What is your favorite word? Indubitably
2. What is your least favorite word? Refrigerator
3. What turns you on? Big boobs
4. What turns you off? Small boobs
5. What sound or noise do you love? Golf ball dropping into the hole
6. What sound or noise do you hate? Alarm clock buzzer
7. What is your favorite curse word? Cunt
8. What profession other than your own would you like to attempt? Surveyor
9. What profession would you not like to do? Any desk job
10. If heaven exists, what would you like to hear God say when you arrive at the pearly gates? You were so awesome in your first life, I'm giving you a second one.

 

1. What is your favorite word? Snoozle
2. What is your least favorite word? Sputum
3. What turns you on? Charm, wit and mischief
4. What turns you off? Not knowing the difference between your/you're, their/there/they're, its/it's, etc.
5. What sound or noise do you love? Purring kittens
6. What sound or noise do you hate? Excessively loud bass, though it's more about feeling it than hearing it.
7. What is your favorite curse word? FUCK!
8. What profession other than your own would you like to attempt? Queen
9. What profession would you not like to do? Jobs involving other people's bodily fluids
10. If heaven exists, what would you like to hear God say when you arrive at the pearly gates? No, really, I'm not that vengeful asshole anymore, come on in!

 

1. What is your favorite word?
Defenestrate

2. What is your least favorite word?
"vajayjay"

3. What turns you on?
"cute" outfits, long stockings, neon hair, and thin legs on a short girl

4. What turns you off?
"I don't like being on top"

5. What sound or noise do you love?
A turbocharger kicking in

6. What sound or noise do you hate?
fake enthusiasm, as afforded to corporate whores intoning their voices like they give a shit.

7. What is your favorite curse word?
fuck.

8. What profession other than your own would you like to attempt?
Professional gamer

9. What profession would you not like to do?
There are too many shitty jobs out there, but I know I'm never going back to a warehouse

10. If heaven exists, what would you like to hear God say when you arrive at the pearly gates?
strippers on the left, pot on the right

 

1. What is your favorite word? Faggotry

2. What is your least favorite word? Smegma

3. What turns you on? Sick humor, spontaneity, honesty

4. What turns you off? Bad hygiene, clinginess, dishonesty

5. What sound or noise do you love? Rainfall, especially on leaves

6. What sound or noise do you hate? Traffic, sirens, civilization

7. What is your favorite curse word? Depends-Fuck is a staple, Cunt is sprinkled in on occasion

8. What profession other than your own would you like to attempt? Comedienne

9. What profession would you not like to do? Exterminator

10. If heaven exists, what would you like to hear God say when you arrive at the pearly gates? "The joke is on you, huh?"

 

1. What is your favorite word? Incipient
2. What is your least favorite word? Potential
3. What turns you on? Tanlines
4. What turns you off? People who mispronounce words with impunity
5. What sound or noise do you love? Puppy sighs
6. What sound or noise do you hate? Pussy sighs
7. What is your favorite curse word? Horse shit
8. What profession other than your own would you like to attempt? Writer
9. What profession would you not like to do? Accountant
10. If heaven exists, what would you like to hear God say when you arrive at the pearly gates? Welcome. You have 72 hours. If you wish to stay, you're going to have to throw someone out in a death match. Here's your old church directory if you're looking for some guidance (elbow, elbow, wink, wink)

 

1. What is your favorite word? Obscene
2. What is your least favorite word? Proactive, I proactively can't stand that word.
3. What turns you on? strength, hotness
4. What turns you off? smoking, apathy
5. What sound or noise do you love? wind in the mountains
6. What sound or noise do you hate? crying babies
7. What is your favorite curse word? Fuckin shit
8. What profession other than your own would you like to attempt? Pro hockey goalie
9. What profession would you not like to do? accounting
10. If heaven exists, what would you like to hear God say when you arrive at the pearly gates?
Fuckin shit, you were wrong, welcome in anyway.

 

1. What is your favorite word? Yes
2. What is your least favorite word? Stop
3. What turns you on? Vagina
4. What turns you off? Penis
5. What sound or noise do you love? Silence
6. What sound or noise do you hate? Anything that comes from Honey Boo Boo's mom
7. What is your favorite curse word? Shitfuck
8. What profession other than your own would you like to attempt? Restuarant/Bar owner
9. What profession would you not like to do? Sales (I hate them so much)
10. If heaven exists, what would you like to hear God say when you arrive at the pearly gates? Well even though you didn't think this place existed, we're still going to let you stay here because you weren't a total asshole.

 

1. What is your favorite word?
Gadget.

2. What is your least favorite word?
Manual.

3. What turns you on?
Dem tittays.

4. What turns you off?
Clingyness and whining.

5. What sound or noise do you love?
Rain hitting asphalt.

6. What sound or noise do you hate?
People arguing.

7. What is your favorite curse word?
Shit. No other word embodies absolute failure like it.

8. What profession other than your own would you like to attempt?
A&R executive for a record company.

9. What profession would you not like to do?
Gravedigger.

10. If heaven exists, what would you like to hear God say when you arrive at the pearly gates?
Game over. Would you like to continue?

 

1. What is your favorite word?
Paycheck

2. What is your least favorite word?
Debt

3. What turns you on?
Soft hands on my lower back

4. What turns you off?
Rancid smell.

5. What sound or noise do you love?
My kids saying Daddy

6. What sound or noise do you hate?
Knife scraping across a plate

7. What is your favorite curse word?
Mother Cunter

8. What profession other than your own would you like to attempt?
Left wing for the Kings.

9. What profession would you not like to do?
My current one (contractor)

10. If heaven exists, what would you like to hear God say when you arrive at the pearly gates?
Welcome, we love gingers here.

 

1. What is your favorite word? Svelte

2. What is your least favorite word? Hubby

3. What turns you on? Confidence

4. What turns you off? Arrogance

5. What sound or noise do you love? My name in the throes of passion

6. What sound or noise do you hate? Anything to do with the vomiting process

7. What is your favorite curse word? Cuntomelet

8. What profession other than your own would you like to attempt? Chef

9. What profession would you not like to do? Door to door sales

10. If heaven exists, what would you like to hear God say when you arrive at the pearly gates? Come in, come in! Have you eaten? We've all been waiting for you!

 

1. What is your favorite word? Befuddled
2. What is your least favorite word? Scent
3. What turns you on? Exotic, multi-racial women
4. What turns you off? lack of humor, emotional sensitivity/weakness
5. What sound or noise do you love? crowds cheering
6. What sound or noise do you hate? Any repetitive inane sound like water dripping.
7. What is your favorite curse word? As Philalawyer said "Fucking retard" is the sweest sound in the english language.
8. What profession other than your own would you like to attempt? Stand-Up Comedian/Psychologist
9. What profession would you not like to do? Accountant/Stockbroker/Anything with numbers
10. If heaven exists, what would you like to hear God say when you arrive at the pearly gates? I'm going on vacation for the next 1,000 years. You're in charge, don't fuck it up.[/quote]

 

1. What is your favorite word? Reverberate
2. What is your least favorite word? Pocketbook
3. What turns you on? Kisses on the back of the neck
4. What turns you off? Possessiveness, rudeness
5. What sound or noise do you love? Cole Porter records
6. What sound or noise do you hate? Crunching snow under boots
7. What is your favorite curse word? Shithead
8. What profession other than your own would you like to attempt? Lighting designer
9. What profession would you not like to do? Anything office related. I don't like sitting for too long.
10. If heaven exists, what would you like to hear God say when you arrive at the pearly gates? Yes, all dogs do go to heaven. Buddy has been waiting here all this time and would like you to immediately throw this ball. Also, he can talk now.

 

1. What is your favorite word? Avenge
2. What is your least favorite word? Lavish
3. What turns you on? Irish accents and beards
4. What turns you off? Bad table manners and people who say 'supposebly'.
5. What sound or noise do you love? Cars on the highway
6. What sound or noise do you hate? Planes flying overhead
7. What is your favorite curse word? Twat or cunt
8. What profession other than your own would you like to attempt? International spy, but only if it's all black turtlenecks, scotch, and banging Russians like on Archer.
9. What profession would you not like to do? Anything where I'd have to interact with kids.
10. If heaven exists, what would you like to hear God say when you arrive at the pearly gates? Trust me, I'm just as surprised to see you. Whiskey?