Les Mardi Gras S'en Vient De Tout Partout! WDT 3/4/11

What a dumb kid, and why would that kid or anyone else there care that you're at the diesel line when everyone else needed gas.

 

Live in a place that isn't iron-fisted by Baptist prudes. I would go utterly nuts in a state where you get married by some psycho in a blue suit that lays down the law on your sex life with Welch's grape juice and a reading from The Purpose Driven Life.

At least you guys can buy booze in any corner store. I have to go at least two miles for beer and further for liquor (they're sold in separate stores, though Liquor stores have some beer) and that's in the city.

 

Time for a new avatar, pal.

 

When will we be seeing this?

 

Hey guys. I just spent 10 minutes in my car.

Here's the story:

I drove to Publix to get some food. I walked in, grabbed a basket, picked up some fried chicken, and a 2 liter of coke (I needed it as both a mixer and for the caffeine, I have a bunch of writing to do tonight and my hangover is only just now leaving). Then I walked around for a few minutes looking for Moon Pies, but couldn't find any, and figured fuck it, I didn't them right away, and there was an express line open with no one in it.

I paid for my stuff, and left without incident.

[I know, I know, not as much excitement as Nettdata's story, but I was going for more of a character sketch than an action sequence.]

 

I'm in love.

 

Not as awesome as Senor Data's story but I just had me a doozy of a Sunday as well. I was driving to campus to meet some friends who were doing some tailgating. On the way, I hear a loud sound...pull over a little down the road to see something has punctured my tire. Fuck me, I say, and go about changing the tire. I get the car up on the jack and take off the lugnuts, but the wheel won't come off. It seems it has rusted onto the wheel base. Now changing a tire and changing the oil is about the extent of my car knowledge, so I call up a buddy to come help me out. He's also got some big boy tools so I figure we'll be good to go in a bit. Unfortunately, even WD-40 and some swift blows with a hammer can't get the thing to budge. So finally we give in and decide to patch the hole as best we can, pump it up, and drive it down to Wal-Marts tire center.

It looked like just a small piece of metal had gone inside the tire so we try to remove it to patch the hole. But when we start pulling it out, it turns out it's not a small piece of metal, it is actually a fucking craftsman wrench. An entire wrench got inside of my damn tire somehow.

In any case, Wal-Mart's guys aren't able to get the tire off either so they recommend we go to another place that should be able to help. Except that it's Sunday so they place is closed. So we pump some more air into the tire, and drive it carefully back to my apartment. Still gotta figure out what I'm going to do in the morning...really want to avoid having it towed anywhere, so if anyone has some suggestions, they would be much appreciated.

I took a picture of the moment we realized it was a fucking wrench in my tire. Attached below.

 

The first thing I would do would be to spray it down with some good penetrating oil (WD40 is not penetrating oil, try PB Blaster). Let it sit for a while and then try a rubber mallet.

 

Take the lug nuts off, then get some speed going and take some hard corners. It'll come off eventually.

 

Yeah and the best part is, I'll know exactly the moment when it comes off....when I go careening off the road with sparks flying behind me.

 

Or you can find a torch, heat the area around the drum up and then proceed to pound the ever loving fuck out of the tire, swinging the sledge hammer into the back side of the tire (while that side of the car is up on a jack stand).

Penetrating oil wont do shit, you will need a hot wrench. Even a coleman propane bottle mounted torch will do the job, itll just take longer. It looks like this:



Trust me though it works, Ive removed rusted on lug nuts with one of these things on the side of the road.

 

Can't you just take the car to Sears?

 

I know I posted this already, but it seems like such a fitting repost right now (FYI only the first few seconds have static).

 

I know using Coke to de-rust things is an old wife's tale, but... does it work? Or at least in this guy's circumstance? Does the acidity in the soft drink compare to the effectiveness of penetrating oil?

 

No idea if it will work for this, but it can be used to clean the gunk that builds up on your car's battery nodes.

 

I also spent 10 mins cuffed up in the back of a cop car.

Hilarious! Here's the story:

So this weekend I headed down to the local watering hole with three buddies of mine. We were looking to see if we could find somebody who could give us a ride out of town, because none of us has a car. Just when we walk in, the fucking racist bartender points at two of my buddies and says "Hey, we don't serve their kind here!" In this day and age, can you believe that shit? So I tell my friends to wait outside, and they begrudgingly agree.

I start asking around to see if there are any truckers or anything headed our way, and my buddy sits down and orders a beer. I find an owner/operator with extra room on his truck and am talking to him, when this ugly motherfucker walks up to my buddy at the bar and tells my buddy that he and his goons don't like the way my buddy looks. My buddy tries to mind his own business, but this ugly-ass fucker keeps persisting. He says that he's already on the run from the law, and my buddy better watch himself. I'm seeing all this out of the corner of my eye but nothing's going down yet so I'm keeping to myself. I don't look too threatening anyway.

My buddy once again tries to go back to his beer and mind his own business, and the ugly guy grabs his shoulder, turns him around, and threatens him.

At this point, I'm forced to intervene. I go over and try to calm shit down. I say to the ugly guy that my buddy isn't worth it and offer to buy him a drink. The guy's probably high on something, though, and he throws my buddy halfway across the room.

Well, I just can't stand for this shit. I reach down and the guy goes for a gun. Real subtle-like, I whip out my lightsaber and cut the guy's gun arm off. Well now he's screaming and crying and all kinds of shit. The whole bar gets real quiet and I go back to try to arrange my ride.

Anyway, later on, the cops pick me up and throw me in the back of their speeder, but I wave my hand and explain to them exactly what happened. They let me go and ask my buddy if he wants to press charges against the ugly guy.

He says, "no, but let him know in no uncertain terms that it's only because I don't want you to."

Holy dramatic Sunday afternoon Batman.

The best part is I talked to the guy at the bar, and he's going to try and get me a copy of the surveillance video.

UPDATE: He just sent it to me!

Spoiler

DrFrylock and Friends' Bar Fight

 

Ack! I am outed! So true, my friend, so true! What actually transpired is that the constables of the local police establishment and I withdrew after the altercation for a quiet conversation on the finer points of oppressing the disenfranchised over a bottle of '84 Dom and some excellent Cream Sherry.