Just had this (spoilered for length and embarrassing grammar FROM AN ENGLISH MAJOR) conversation with a buddy* of mine. Back story is we have a friend who is a good looking athletic dude with a good degree from a good school and subsequently a good job about to marry a fatty, and we're not talking a couple pounds overweight, my minimum guess is 250. She is also not rich or anything, doesn't have a good personality and somehow has him totally whipped, the situation is fucking ridiculous, we also know he's not a chubby chaser. Basically what happened is despite his good traits, he has absolutely no game and went to a notoriously awful school for meeting chicks. Fast forward to senior year, he's still a virgin and gets desperate. He meets fatty, they hit it off, they have sex and he holds on to her for dear life since she's the only girl who hasn't rejected (he has a dark past of being shut down) him. They've been together six years now. Spoiler me: Another thing we're going to have to figure out soon, Dan's bachelor party Blake: munich me: I like it, but that's a bit of a commitment Blake: fine, party bus me: wow, talk about a big step back not that I'm against either Blake: you can put a stripper and a keg in it from what i hear and for the love of god i will pay that stripper dearly to change Dan's mind me: I've moved on to stage 8 (I think): acceptance Blake: what exactly are you accepting? that gravity pulls up but their a brisk wind we can't feel that keeps us on earth? there's nothing to logical to accept its like a paladin having empathy for the undead and throwing his golden sword into the closet me: Yeah, you make a strong point, I think we're at the age now where 'game' doesn't matter as much, and a higher than average income trumps smooth talking Blake: absolutely the natural balance of nature smooth talking is good for the first month max anyway me: I just feel like we missed the critical point by a few years, this is going down like it or not Blake: you mean the stripper onslaught to our very drunk friend, yes i agree we need to get him into amsterdam red light district or montreal that's doable Bill and Fred are well versed in this me: I don't think you truly appreciate how unattractive smokers are to non-smokers, we'd need a strip club like the foxy lady that doesn't allow it for this to work Blake: i think you need you nicotine receptors checked out. doc, wtf, i hate cigs. we'll don't worry, we have a couple of options for you me: Dude, MOST non-smokers are like me not as adamant, but the same feeling And I KNOW Dan is close to as intolerant as I am Blake: we went from saving Dan to cigarette smells, we're losing focus me: Ok, bottom line, Dan is not falling for a chain smoking stripper, period, end of story Blake: i can't watch this happen me: YOU... YOU? I'm going to be giving the best man speech Blake: to another human being this is going to scar you me: The scar has been there for a while Blake: this is a CIA cover up i need something to hold on to, to make it through this. that's my life raft me: wouldn't they pick a more reasonable girl? Blake: CIA is sick mass graves and shit they know no rules me: Well, if we're questioning it like this, they did a shitty job Blake: no, they did exactly the job they needed to. they said yeah old high school friends we took your best and brightest and made him fake that the pay check and benefits must be godly me: Well, what's the point of all that money if you're married to a god damn beach whale living in a small house in Shitville, USA? Blake: because that's just the outside story the inside story is your are swimming in artisan crafted penthouses with arabian princesses and swiss bikini clad agents delivering beer stein after beer stein as you talk encryption me: This is true, none of us have seen him at home Blake: not even his best man CIA me: But how do we explain this if they start shitting out kids? Does the CIA make you do that too? Blake: Nope. That kind of commitment is Blackwater Cliff notes: The dude is about to marry her and we want to do something, ANYTHING to make this event not happen. We're not the only two who feel this way either, it's brought up pretty much every time my high school friends get together (Dan is never their since she won't let him hang out with us). We all want this to not happen, but we didn't meet her until they had been together for over three years and he legitimately loves her at this point so we don't want to directly tell him he's too good for her. And I swear to god anytime she is brought up around his parents you can see a very obvious tinge of disgust in their faces. Has anyone been able to successfully get a buddy out of this situation without being blunt (ie. blatantly calling her a grenade to his face etc.)? We've tried hooking him up in the past, but he ended up backing out last second because of guilt, I think we need to try more booze. Any tips for coping with the situation? *Funny aside, the buddy I'm talking to is my roommate from college that I got in a fist fight with over bottled water vs tap water
Yeah it's pretty surreal. The storm that ripped that store apart passed right over my house (I'm SW of where it touched down) I said several and I was wrong... the touch down count was 62 last night, today I heard 80+. The news just said 24 confirmed deaths. Right now I'm just very thankful. No damage at my house, all of my friends and family are safe and the Lowe's I work at isn't the one in the picture. (I work for a private contractor - not Lowe's.) On a lighter side note: My mom does work for Lowe's and while we haven't heard it officially, they will trash everything in that store. Wouldn't you like to be there for that?
Looks like the tornado already did most of the work for them. Good you're ok - tornadoes aren't god to be anywhere near, and 80 in one storm? That's some Oklahoma shit. I guess at least they weren't all F5s?
One day I am going to start a TV show in the vein of mythbusters, but I will only bust myths about drugs. And I will do every show about how it is ok to drink while on antibiotics, and I will air it over and over and over until people (and even doctors, for christ's sake) finally quit with that shit. I don't even know where it comes from. You know, Munich is an amazing drinking city. The entire culture is pretty much built around beer and it's an amazing atmosphere. It would work for a TiB reunion, perhaps. But somehow I don't think a bachelor party would work. Maybe because of how ridiculously Catholic everything is, or because it's not like a Las Vegas kind of drinking scene where it's encouraged to do things you'll regret but not remember, maybe because the churches have signs up saying that men are not to put their hands in their pockets while inside. And oh man are there a lot of churches. Spoiler
You can't change someone's feelings with a rational argument. "Oh, McNuggets aren't good for me? I guess I'll stop loving their flavor now." That's not how it works. You have to go the serious manipulation route. Be really nice to her for a while, then begin to express a little discomfort about her to your buddy, but quickly change the subject, say it's nothing, he loves her and that's all that matters. And then slowly ramp things up until you finally lay it all on your buddy. At first you noticed how she rolls her eyes whenever he's talking, though you didn't think much about it, but now she's openly putting him down behind his back, telling you and your friends how she expects him to start acting like a real man after they're married, how she's so happy knowing that he can never leave her because no one else wants him, etc. Make sure you and your co-conspirators are all on the same page, about the timing and the behavior you're going to make up, everything.
Or, you could, you know, let people live their own lives and make their own mistakes if you aren't going to be direct about the situation. Either tell you friend how you feel and risk the fallout, or suck it up and deal with it. Does emotionally manipulating a friend really sound like a great option? If it does, perhaps you should reevaluate exactly what kind of a friend you are, because it's probably a pretty shitty one.
Guess who hooked up with a woman last night? This guy! Guess who was too drunk to have his penis work properly? This guy!
I can understand your desire to "warn" your friend about the choice he's making because you and your friends think it's a mistake, but is it really your business? Maybe she is everything he's looking for in a relationship and he's perfectly happy and loves her for who she is. Did you ever ask him, or are you just assuming he should have the same values when it comes to intimate relationships that you do? If he's happy, that should be good enough for you as his friend. Anyway, gorgeous weekend here. Spent the better part of yesterday working outside and ended up with a very sore back. That's my body's way of telling me I'm not getting enough exercise. I really need to figure out how and where I can put some exercise time into my schedule. But today, I'm stuck inside with papers that need to get finished, but I think I'll procrastinate just a little bit longer.
My friends and I went through something similar to this about a year ago. One of our buddies was a Marine who had returned from two back-to-back tours in Iraq and was still a virgin. He started working as the manager of a movie theater and hanging out in dive bars. He met a fat sea urchin at the bar and started having sex with her. He brought her around us and we didnt know what to say when we met her. After she left, me being the most outspoken of the group, asked him what the fuck he was doing. When he moved in with her and her parents, they became officially serious. The girl has zero good qualities: shes fat, ugly, smells like tuna, and is a complete fucking bitch to boot, for no real reason. She was also a total cunt to my girlfriend when she first met her, because as my buddy says, "She doesnt get along with other girls." We tried and tried to convince him not to settle down with the first girl he fucks, let alone this girl, but to no avail. Fast forward a year and they live in a shit hole apartment and shes on permanent disability because of a bad foot or something. Hes supporting himself and her with his $10 / hr movie theater salary and had to give up going back to college to help pay for her medical bills. The worst part of it all? Hes bitter towards the rest of us, especially me whom he wants nothing to do with, because he thinks we hate her. The best advice in these situations is to make it known your feelings towards the girl, and say nothing after that. If you dont want your friend kicking you out of his life altogether, dont bother. After all, if he wants to go down that road, then theres no point in standing in his way after he knows the opinions of others. At that point, he has already made up his mind.
I had a girlfriend who basically did the same shit. She was this homeschooled girl I met freshman year of college. She was very outspoken and prided herself on being independent and logical about everything. She was putting herself through fulltime out of state college while working a full time job on top of that. While she did date a couple guys freshman year she never had any physical interactions with them. Fast forward 6 months, she's working downtown in a cafe and meets some asshat coworker who she starts to date. This guy is 29 years old (she is 19) and a real sleaze ball bartender type. He is skinny, balding, stupid, a college flunky, and basically warps every part of my friend. He basically leeches off her, and I think she sticks with him because he's her "first." There's a whole lot that's fucked up with that relationship and there isn't time to explain it all. Bottom line, me and my best friend tried to talk to her about it and she brushed us off and then stopped talking to us. When people get that far into something, either they wake up one day, or they don't. You as a caring friend can speak your piece once, and if the situation is really horrendous or is warping your friend out of control, then you've just got to call it quits.
I'm the kind of friend who doesn't want his buddies marrying fatties if they have better options, is that so wrong? See this is the thing with my friend too, looking in form the outside you can tell it's a toxic relationship, they fight EVERY time we see them, it's just that it's both of their first relationships and they think it's normal. I never asked if he was happy with a bitchy whale, but before he met her he always went after and said he wanted short, skinny, submissive girls. If I thought there was a real chance that he was with her because that's who he wanted to be with and not who he thinks is the only person he can get, I wouldn't even consider badmouthing the situation. Regardless though, I made that post more for the sake of amusement than actual advice. I've accepted that he's decided to marry her and there's really nothing I can do about it.
I don't think the Mayans had anything to do with this one. I think this was a result of God hating the South. Amirite?