Adult Content Warning

This community may contain adult content that is not suitable for minors. By closing this dialog box or continuing to navigate this site, you certify that you are 18 years of age and consent to view adult content.

Mardi Gras Drunk Thread [2-12-10] Fuck V Day, Take a V Card

Discussion in 'Weekly Drunk Threads' started by Blue Dog, Feb 12, 2010.

Thread Status:
Not open for further replies.
Page 9 of 12
  1. Blue Dog

    Blue Dog
    Expand Collapse
    Absentee Mod

    Reputation:
    71
    Joined:
    Oct 19, 2009
    Messages:
    1,665
    Location:
    South Louisiana
    CANADA IS A BUTT!

    HAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!
     
    #161 Blue Dog, Feb 13, 2010
  2. Dcc001

    Dcc001
    Expand Collapse
    New Bitch On Top

    Reputation:
    434
    Joined:
    Oct 19, 2009
    Messages:
    4,736
    Location:
    Sarnia, Ontario
    A few notes about French Canada, royalty and the Olympic Opening Ceremony:

    1. The official language of the Olympics is French. The international language of the world (like it or not) is English. The rules of the Olympics state that all announcements will be made in French, then English then in the host nation's tongue. Since Canada's two official languages are French and English, the last point is moot. However, in Italy and China and all Olympics past you'll remember there were three languages spoken.

    2. As to why the Queen was not there: first, her daughter was. Princess Anne was in attendance. Second, the Governor General is the Queen's representative in Canada. Had the Queen showed up, Michele Jean would have been pushed aside and the Queen herself would have had to make the grand entrance and declare the games open. Since this would have probably confused the shit out of almost everybody (why is the British queen declaring the Canadian games open? Isn't Canada its own country?), I can see why they avoided it and stuck with traditional protocol.

    3. Screw the royal family. A bunch of useless idiots who do nothing but cut ribbons and live off the taxpayer's dime. All wrapped in the guise of "for the people."

    I still can't find a copy of kd lang's performance of Hallelujah. Man, Big Brother has slammed the internet shut on this one. The irony that I can find a copy of the luger getting killed is disturbing.
     
    #162 Dcc001, Feb 13, 2010
  3. ghettoastronaut

    ghettoastronaut
    Expand Collapse
    Emotionally Jaded

    Reputation:
    70
    Joined:
    Oct 22, 2009
    Messages:
    4,917
    Learn to spell. "Aboot", not "abutt".

    I am ironing, drinking Sam Adams, and watching streaming ski jumping. Haven't had Sam Adams in years, and it's surprisingly good beer.

    Mmm. Yes. Gotta appeal to everyone who'd be confused.
     
    #163 ghettoastronaut, Feb 13, 2010
  4. abneretta

    abneretta
    Expand Collapse
    Shenanigator

    Reputation:
    329
    Joined:
    Oct 19, 2009
    Messages:
    1,878
    Location:
    Missouri
    I'm pretty irritated at the moment. Since my husband took his sweet time everybody's already leaving the bar, which I don't understand since it was for a 21st birthday. Whatever. At any rate, now I'm too pissed to go out to the bar anyway and there aren't many options. I'm thinking about just running to the liquor store to grab some beer and settling in on the couch for the night.

    I should've went without him. Maybe this should have went in the 10 reasons not to get married thread. Oh well.
     
    #164 abneretta, Feb 13, 2010
  5. Dcc001

    Dcc001
    Expand Collapse
    New Bitch On Top

    Reputation:
    434
    Joined:
    Oct 19, 2009
    Messages:
    4,736
    Location:
    Sarnia, Ontario
    True. If they were any kind of organizers they would've stood up and just read a page from Wikipedia.
     
    #165 Dcc001, Feb 13, 2010
  6. Sam N

    Sam N
    Expand Collapse
    Emotionally Jaded

    Reputation:
    1
    Joined:
    Oct 19, 2009
    Messages:
    951
    Location:
    texas
    What up boners. Just finished a poem for my writing workshop and diving into some steinlagers. Going to be a quiet night for me, sit at home and drink a few beers, watch some Freaks and Geeks probably. Considering popping in Mean Machine as well, because that movie fucking rocks.

    I've basically been hung over all day. I can't quite bounce back from a night of heavy drinking like I used to. God damn aging. Hangovers last me until dinner time nowadays. That is, of course, if I don't decide to drink for breakfast.
     
    #166 Sam N, Feb 14, 2010
  7. RCGT

    RCGT
    Expand Collapse
    Emotionally Jaded

    Reputation:
    0
    Joined:
    Oct 21, 2009
    Messages:
    1,769
    Location:
    wandern
    Well goddammit. Time to do some homework...
     
    #167 RCGT, Feb 14, 2010
  8. iczorro

    iczorro
    Expand Collapse
    Emotionally Jaded

    Reputation:
    107
    Joined:
    Oct 19, 2009
    Messages:
    3,541
    Location:
    The Island
    Happy birthday to me. Fuck.
     
    #168 iczorro, Feb 14, 2010
  9. ssycko

    ssycko
    Expand Collapse
    Emotionally Jaded

    Reputation:
    0
    Joined:
    Oct 27, 2009
    Messages:
    1,550
    Location:
    Being not a hipster
    Happy Birthday to you too! Cheer up, someday you'll find that perfect girl !! ! ! ! ** *! :):):)
     
    #169 ssycko, Feb 14, 2010
  10. bean

    bean
    Expand Collapse
    Experienced Idiot

    Reputation:
    2
    Joined:
    Oct 20, 2009
    Messages:
    141
    Got back from the bar and the college dorms and got a good looking chick's digits. College to the rescue.
     
    #170 bean, Feb 14, 2010
  11. Bob Trousers

    Bob Trousers
    Expand Collapse
    Disturbed

    Reputation:
    0
    Joined:
    Oct 19, 2009
    Messages:
    298
    Location:
    The UK-a'ight, cunt?
    Oh, how wrong a person can be. They don't "live off the tax payer's dime'-this is England, and they live off the tax payer's penny. Other than that, spot on post-keep up the good work (seriously-the royal family are a bunch of useless cunts, and lend credence to the 'lizard people' theory).
     
    #171 Bob Trousers, Feb 14, 2010
  12. Sam N

    Sam N
    Expand Collapse
    Emotionally Jaded

    Reputation:
    1
    Joined:
    Oct 19, 2009
    Messages:
    951
    Location:
    texas
    I really hate the episode of Freaks and Geeks where Lindsey smokes weed. I mean, what the fuck? Why do they have to take this harsh stand against burning a little dope? Very unrealistic. Playing hide and seek with a little kid stoned sounds like a great time to me.

    Hell, the first time I got stoned I had an absolute blast.
     
    #172 Sam N, Feb 14, 2010
  13. Sam N

    Sam N
    Expand Collapse
    Emotionally Jaded

    Reputation:
    1
    Joined:
    Oct 19, 2009
    Messages:
    951
    Location:
    texas
    Alright since noone is here, I'll recount a funny little story for you all to wake up to.

    A month ago I made out with a girl I know at the bar. Now this was the first time I had seen the girl in over a year, so I had no idea what was going on in her life or anything. As the night goes on, we each get progressively more drunk and progressively more aggressive in our makeouting. Eventually she's groping me and I'm kneading her boobs like a Swedish masseuse. It's closing time so I make the next logical move, and ask her to come back to my place. To which she responds by holding up three fingers (pinkie, ring, middle, btw). I'm baffled by this. "Three? Three what? Are you coming or not??" She holds up the fingers again. "What the fuck are you talking about!!! THREE, THREE WHAT?"

    She gives me a little smooch and walks off with her friends and leaves. Until yesterday I had absolutely no idea what the hell that was about. I haven't talked to her since and just kind of figured I did something in my drunken state to turn her off. Then yesterday I saw her facebook page. Sure enough, engaged to ---. She wasn't signaling three to me, she was showing me her wedding ring. Remembering back I can distinctly see that ring on her finger, I guess I just chose to block it out at the time. Now why she thought it was ok to make out with me for hours and gratuitously fondle my dick, but drew the moral line at fucking me, I have no idea.

    Said girl is 24, about to get married this summer, and was most definitely not drunk when we first started kissing. I can only envision this marriage ending in disaster.
     
    #173 Sam N, Feb 14, 2010
  14. Sam N

    Sam N
    Expand Collapse
    Emotionally Jaded

    Reputation:
    1
    Joined:
    Oct 19, 2009
    Messages:
    951
    Location:
    texas
    Whatup Loserrsss.

    I'm drunk. This pic was from a Redwalls concert three years ago. We were pounding jager in the parking lot. Chyeah.
     

    Attached Files:

    #174 Sam N, Feb 14, 2010
  15. Fernanthonies

    Fernanthonies
    Expand Collapse
    Emotionally Jaded

    Reputation:
    11
    Joined:
    Oct 19, 2009
    Messages:
    1,674
    Location:
    Oklahoma
    Thats right. My plan was for this weekend to be a laid back weekend. No drinking. Sitting at home and watching some TV and playing some MW2.

    its 6:30 am and I am very drunk. My plan didn't work. We had a great time tonight though. I'm drunk, eating leftover Mexican food and watching FLCL. If you know what that means, than you can be a super nerd with me.
     
    #175 Fernanthonies, Feb 14, 2010
  16. Queen-Bee

    Queen-Bee
    Expand Collapse
    Emotionally Jaded

    Reputation:
    31
    Joined:
    Oct 19, 2009
    Messages:
    609
    Location:
    Edge of Canada
    A Silver? Really? That's all we get for our first day? I'm an eternal optimist, but I'm feeling this really weird snake-bit thing happening.

    Or maybe it's my upcoming V-Fucking Day bitterness and angst, Go Fuck Yourself thing happening.

    Did I mention if you're happy and in love, GO FUCK YOURSELF?

    Not bitter.

    While I'm not being bitter, where is Happy Fuck-Buddy Day? Actually, if I finally line up my planets, I will need Happy Fuck-Buddy Week. Go Team!

    Shut up and quit yelling at me. I'm going to bed.
     
    #176 Queen-Bee, Feb 14, 2010
  17. katokoch

    katokoch
    Expand Collapse
    Emotionally Jaded

    Reputation:
    477
    Joined:
    Oct 19, 2009
    Messages:
    4,631
    Location:
    Minneapolis
    Running from cops is always fun*. So is watching a friend get arrested for being a shithead.

    *It would be nice to be 21 so I don't have to worry about this anymore.
     
    #177 katokoch, Feb 14, 2010
  18. Crown Royal

    Crown Royal
    Expand Collapse
    Just call me Topher

    Reputation:
    982
    Joined:
    Oct 31, 2009
    Messages:
    23,075
    Location:
    London, Ontario
    Did they plant a knife on him and hit him with sticks? Details.
     
    #178 Crown Royal, Feb 14, 2010
  19. katokoch

    katokoch
    Expand Collapse
    Emotionally Jaded

    Reputation:
    477
    Joined:
    Oct 19, 2009
    Messages:
    4,631
    Location:
    Minneapolis
    We left the house and were headed back to another place when he felt the need to go back up to the cops and yell at them. It was your typical drunken "What the fuck are you guys doing busting up a fucking party??? Fucking pigs!!!" stuff. They handcuffed him and put him in a car.

    It was actually kind of fun for awhile, as the cops first showed up to the house so the people that lived there shut off all the lights and funneled everyone into the basement. Police were walking around the house shining lights through the windows. I ended up going out the back door and going through a few back yards to another street and then went back around to watch my friend get cuffed.

    A few minutes after we left, a bunch of police cars came screaming towards the same house. I wonder what happened.
     
    #179 katokoch, Feb 14, 2010
  20. Crown Royal

    Crown Royal
    Expand Collapse
    Just call me Topher

    Reputation:
    982
    Joined:
    Oct 31, 2009
    Messages:
    23,075
    Location:
    London, Ontario
    I never got that. No matter how drive I've been in my life, I was ALWAYS lucid enough to realize that no good whatsoever can come from giving the cops lip. The police have no reserve for drunk assholes, even when you're friendly to them. It's like playing chicken with a frieght locomotive. Brave? Sure. Stupid? Enormously.
     
    #180 Crown Royal, Feb 14, 2010
(You must log in or sign up to post here.)
Page 9 of 12
Thread Status:
Not open for further replies.