Mardi Gras Drunk Thread 2012

You can tell this one never met Dixie.

 

Maybe she saw the used tissues you kept under your pillow and thought it was normal. Little did she know that you were filling yours with cock snot.

 

in Gravy Toss' world, he practices women the same way Billy Joel practices parking a car.

 

To this part, I want to make a joke like: Well it would certainly be hard for an imaginary person to make a mess....

but yikes. Gross. Did you break her habit by rubbing her face in them? Or did you put the used diapers underneath the seats in her Ford Escort? Take away the spoons and the razors? Hide the peanut butter?

 

Wah wah.

That's true, but with one minor exception: I usually have more fatalities involved.

 

I found the end of the internet. We're done here. Around minute 3 I'm fucking gagging. Nothing will ever be right again.



"What are you girls talking about?"

"About periods, dad!"

Note: not graphic. Just highly disturbing if you ever want to eat jam again. Safe for Health Class.

 

Yes, yes you did. Holy fuck. Is it the 70's era film quality, or does that little girl have Down's syndrome? What, who, what, where?

Wait, this is too weird, they keep repeating the same lines....is this some type of weird porn?

 

So there's a "part 2" to that? Seriously, wtf? How in God's holy name did you find that? Did you just randomly google "Girls starting their periods?" or as the title says "What's a period" or "Fucked up videos that make no sense in any way, shape, form, rhyme or reason to be on the fucking internet"... I'm just flabbergasted over how you came across this. Very disturbing.

And the whole scene in the bathroom? I could have gone the rest of my life without having to see that. Although those granny "pan-tees" were fantastic - I'm going to have to find me some:

 

Considering the link came from CJ right around afternoon whacking time I'm not sure if he got it off a menstrual fetish site or a down syndrome fetish site. And I'm not sure which is worse.

 

I'm pretty sure what's worse is that you know what his afternoon whacking time is.

 

Apparently you've never used Skype properly.

 

Dude.

[rnsfw]Ha! Bet you were mentally preparing for the worst.
[/rnsfw]

 

#weezyfirstdrafts

 

Dear kid next door: I appreciate that it's nice enough to have your window open, and I applaud your efforts to be "the next big rock star", but if you play the bass line from The Joker one more damned time, I'm coming over and putting every inch of that bass up your ass. And the amp.

 

Then you have to SLAP DA BASS

 

If I had a choice of either watching that movie again or being thrown into a salt-water tank filled with razor wire, electric eels and old people having sex, it would be tank time before you even finished asking me. I would rub myself down with whatever the fuck eels eat.

 

Phew, thank God you posted that before I made a fool of myself by posting first saying "I love that movie!" Because, that would've been really embarrassing. Glad I didn't do that.

And, if you're short on eel food, you could watch the short film sequel while wrapping yourself in razor wire.

 

To be perfectly honest, I've never seen it. Only that scene and the Andre the Giant impression.

But both of you feel free to gargle my anus.

 

That thing probably needs to be gargled with nothing less than industrial strength bleach.