These three sentences do not compute. You may as well have said "purple alligator nipples." I'm going to the bar with a friend. He's a lumberjack. We're going to saw some logs. WINK WINK.
I was being sarcastic. I think it's weird and really fucking random. No way I'm actually jealous. This girl's gonna be a washed-up has-been in about 2.3 years. I predict a leather-faced 28 year old who looks like she's been rode hard and put up wet.
It's like a disco inferno! Burn, Burn, Burn! Look at her teeth! They're like chiclets! At least Shaun T is tolerable. Plus the women in that video are off the charts hot.
This is a night of first world problems. First, I'm trying to go work out but a friggin' train derails and fucks the traffic all up. After sitting in traffic for 30 minutes I say, "fuck it" and head home. I get home and start drinking some hard cider and it seems like the day is looking up. Then, I run out of hard cider. Since I'm pretty cautious about drinking and driving, I decide to walk down the street to Target. Walking is pretty hard, guys. When I finally arrive, I can't find their hard cider so I pick up some Shiner spring seasonal beer. Then, you won't believe this shit, after I pick up my beer, I spot the hard cider. Seriously, I have to walk all the way back down the beer aisle to put back my cider? FML. Instead I just buy the beer. Spoiler Mardi Gras: NSFW
Continuing on in the first world problems, I ran the dishwasher with ALL of my wine glasses in one load. Who does that? So I'm drinking wine out of the bottle. A drinking problem? Who, me?
Damn it. We had a big one last night. The doorbell woke me up this morning. I ignored the first one, but the second and third pissed me off enough to throw on some clothes and open the door with hate in my eyes and murder in my heart. The neighbour wanted to ask me about our pool timer settings. He asked his worthless question, and then said "Oh, did I wake you? It is 11am." SO FUCKING WHAT MOTHERFUCKER!?! DO YOU KNOW WHAT THE MORNING AFTER HALF/HALF BOURBON/TEQUILA SHOTS IS LIKE? FUCK YOU. I WILL EAT YOUR SPLEEN. I'm not really much of a morning person. And then a TiBer had sent me a video of some pasty guy dancing in a speedo. With LMFAO as the soundtrack. And now I'm going on a multi hour walk because I hate myself. FML. On the upside, friend's birthday tonight at my favourite cocktail bar, and she is bringing 10+ single friends, many of whom are of South American descent.
Got inta the rye a lil' Pew Pew Pew Maybe I'll try the Hank Moody three: Whiskey, Weed and Warren Zevon Spoiler
That kind of thing used to happen to me all the time in college. I've had drinks from bowls, cd spindles, mugs made from duct tape, you name it and I've drunken from it. The mugs made from duct tape were pretty cool but alcohol tended to dissolve the adhesive.
I just want to know if it's possible to explain the appeal to the gifs like this or its boobie equivalents where the main point is to watch them jiggle. Don't they make it impossible to ignore that they're both just sacs of fat? I've never found one hot. I know that the appeal of boobs and butts in general boils down to simply IT JUST IS -hey, I can't explain it- but this particular niche just baffles me. That being said, the look on the girl's face is HILARIOUS.
usually duct tape and drinking with me involved car trunks and a couple other things. "No officer, that voice you can't hear in there is a fucking liar." The idea is to make your break for it as they open the trunk. Best distraction moment. Lose them by running in front of slow-moving freight trains...unless they're fast with the tazer, then you're gonna be breakdancin' for 'em as they laugh and flick pennies at you.
That particular gif is more of a novelty than anything but I'll answer your question with another question (and its answer). Q: How do you make five pounds of fat attractive? Spoiler A: Put a nipple on it. This might be the worst night of my life. I made some bacon that was super-crispy. I dropped a piece and it shattered into a million pieces. The fact that it was so crispy that it shattered so readily means it would have been incredibly delicious. Some GIS results of "jiggly". One of them may be Alison Brie Spoiler
I'm just diving in here without catching up. I'm home alone (with the kid) tonight, the guy is about 90 miles away at his brother's house. He's helping him put up a metal building this weekend and since the last three weekends we've tagged along we opted to stay home tonight. I love how I say 'we' as if my 5 month old actually had any input. Anyway, I thought I'd have a nice relaxing evening maybe even have a glass or two of wine and get caught up on my DVR. Instead I come home to a dog that got on the table and into some candy and is puking everywhere, thank goodness I got her blocked in the hallway on the linoleum before she made too big a mess. Then I go to clean out the coffee pot from this morning and I notice that there's water dripping on my foot. The sink is leaking. Now, this is something that Travis could fix in two seconds flat but something that I'm apparently too retarded to fix. This is not a good start to the weekend. I sure as hell hadn't planned on spending 30 minutes cleaning up dog puke. Yuck. So...how are you all tonight?
This makes me happy I won't have a dog AND a baby soon. I can only take care of one thing's poop at a time. So, I put together the crib and changing table for the baby. The crib wasn't hard, but the changing table sucked. Lets just say I had to use the "pound that thing until it fits" method for a few things, but now it looks good. I feel very well prepared for this kid already. We have pretty much everything short of the dresser, which we're picking up soon. Actually, quick question: What is the stance on piercing a baby girl's ears? My sister-in-law just had their daughter's ears pierced, and she is a little over 1. I think this is too early, but then again, I grew up with three brothers and don't know shit about shit when it comes to little girls. My wife isn't really sure, either.
Dog puke aye....welp, sounds like your night is set! My second consecutive Friday staying in at home...guess I go out more often during the week these days. Weird..
OK, there's no tag for [math]...[/math] but I need to vent. On my exam there was a problem with a term dP1 and dP2. I assumed that this meant the total differential of P1 and P2. It turns out, d was just a parameter that was multiplied by P1 and P2. In the problem I was maximizing over P1 and P2 so I was trying to figure out what calculus rule I was forgetting that lets me take the partial derivative of a total differential. Turns out, the professor even gave us a range of values for the parameter d to take. And it STILL didn't occur to me that this had nothing to do with total differentials. I want to cry. I rocked that final aside from this problem where I made a retard ass mistake that is going to ruin everything. Also, @ audrey. There is one thing better than boobs, and that is jiggly boobs. Don't question.
My sister got my niece's ears pierced when she was like 3 months old. Personally I think that's ridiculous. I figure when she's old enough to ask for them that's when we'll talk about it, no sooner.
Here's a rule of thumb: If you're going to break your child's skin with a sharp object, and it's not carrying medicine of some kind, you're a fucking terrible parent.