There's a story that my dad tells about Ronnie Hawkins, rockabilly extraordinaire who happens to look like a fucking hobo. He wrote a couple of catchy tunes back in the day, and basically became the Canadian version of Beverly Hillbilly. Ten cars, 4 houses, etc. But apparently, they almost didn't let him buy a Rolls Royce:
Oh, I forgot (blocked out) the most common one I get. I just got reminded by a rep (thanks RCGT!) which said I get mistaken for gay a lot. Like, I mentioned cooking dinner for a girl and a colleague who has worked in the same office as me every day for half a year said "Wait, you're not gay?" Apparently in the land of burly miners, drinking beer out of a bottle instead of a can, or having an interest in cooking, is much the same as gyrating to Lady Gaga in a rainbow thong from a perch atop an erection. Sigh. Build a thousand bridges, suck one dick, etc etc.
I get misconceptions all the time, unsurprisingly. I guess for a lot of people I meet, "into sports" means "jocky douchebag", so they're always surprised at how much I enjoy playing/watching them. Apparently, it's impossible for some people to conceive of somebody appreciating Frank O'Hara and a sweet step back J. There are probably people who hear my educational background and assume that I'm way richer than I actually am. On a less #humblebrag note, I'm pretty quiet around people until I know them (or I'm drunk). This was magnified when I was playing sports as a kid, so an entire group of people I played basketball with when I was younger were absolutely convinced that I was retarded. Literally retarded - i.e., I got the nickname Special Ed. Which would have been kind of cool if my name was Ed, I guess. It's really hard to prove you're not retarded on command, especially to a bunch of 13 year olds. I don't LOOK like I'd be awkward, and I'm pretty good when I'm actually in conversations, so my initial shyness comes off as standoffish or arrogant. Apparently my sexuality is some source of confusion as well, because I alternately come off as asexual, whorish, super straight and super questionable to different people.
Learned a new one today. Apparently people assume I have downs syndrome. False! I have the correct number of chromosomes and an IQ in the mis 120's. My mom still tells me I'm special though.
I'm kind of weird in the sense that people usually assume I'm your regular extroverted "guy's guy", when in fact I'm a nerdy introvert that just also happens to enjoy athletics and sports. It's mostly because most of the people I meet are either from the gym, or jiu-jitsu, or weekend soccer leagues, and I've always been pretty friendly and open. But in fact, when some friends from the gym were making plans to go out on a friday night, I excused myself saying I was tired and I was just staying in. In fact, I got home in time to catch the Starcraft II casts from IPL Season 2, finished watching Black Butler II (anime) on the comp, and worked my way some more through Backlash, the fourth book in the newest Star Wars series, Fate of the Jedi. My good friends know the way I am, and I'm not opposed to going out and having a drink from time to time (although I refuse to go to clubs anymore), but most of my social activities are during the daytime. Another thing that is a great compliment, although false, is that friends assume I'm much better with women than I actually am. It does go back to the fact that I'm friendly and am not afraid to approach people, but the truth is that I have some regular FB's and am perfectly content at keeping it at that spot. So of course having little interest in trying to pick someone up means I'm just relaxed talking to people, so hurray I guess?
A good friend of mine has a full sleeve of tattoos, shaved head, goatee, and a voice that could give Michael Clark Duncan a run for his money. He is constantly bitching that women are visibly intimidated by him (which I have seen on regular occasions), or that various guys either try to posture around him and pick fights with him, or literally tell him they are scared of him (which I have also seen on multiple occasions at bars). The reality is he spends his free time reading books about quantitative analysis and playing Magic: The Gathering. This is especially funny for me, because I've known him for years and saw the gradual change from a vaguely skinny nerd to a pretty tough-looking dude. For some reason it never occurred to him that these style changes would affect people's perceptions of him. One day he said to me, "Dude, people never make eye contact with me anymore. What the fuck is going on." I just laughed.
My life is such an eclectic mix that people always have misconceptions of me based on where they meet me. I have to keep my friends on facebook in groups and most of them are not allowed to see posts from my friends or status updates to keep wars from breaking out. I am a very open minded person so I do not have a problem with anyone's lifestyle no matter what it is. I literally have friends who are pastors and friends who are married homosexuals, I have conservative political lobbyists and tattoo artists, biker gang members and handicapped children's advocates, DJs and attorneys, NRA supporters and vegans, swingers and MMA fighters, cops and ex-cons. It is sometimes interesting when someone asks how you know someone else but I do not apologize for my lifestyle and do not expect other people to either. They can either accept me and everyone I know or they can move on. I worked for an attorney several years ago who later confessed that he thought I was a quiet soccer mom when he hired me and after working with me for a couple of years said he was amazed at some of the friends I had and that my life was not nearly the stereotypical one he had assumed. Probably the biggest misconception I get on a daily basis is my age. If I say I have two children in college people immediately say "but you don't look that old", then apologize for blurting that out. You would think this is a compliment that I look young but I always immediately tell people my age because I do not want them to think I started having children at age 13!