MTV's Jersey Shore (was "Jersey without my hair gel")

Here they are on Conan:

http://www.hulu.com/watch/115489/the-to ... s-p4-sr-i1

part 2 http://www.hulu.com/watch/115488/the-to ... s-p4-sr-i1



The situation actually didn't annoy me that bad. Pay attention to the guy Snookie want's to marry.

 

As an Italian, I am truly disgusted at the representation of my people. I'm not from the fucking Jersey shore, and since this show has come on, people's comebacks to me is "go back to fucking, Jersey." One this comeback is completely unoriginal which just makes me laugh. But it pisses me off that these fucking guidos are ruining what dignity the Italians have left. This show makes it seem like we all eat pasta all the time, fuckin dirty and greasy, long black hair, tan 24/7, and like greasy guys that spike their hair/tan/look like tools. Yeah I hate those fucking tools and think that a monkey's ass looks better, the only time I tan is in the summer when I'm outside playing soccer, I have reddish-brown hair thats to my shoulders, and I shower daily...but I gotta admit I do eat pasta all the time and family is very important to me. I swear to god that Snooki girl or whatever looks more like an Indian than a guido. These people are so fuckin self-centered and retarded.. perfect for MTV. What the hell is this world of media coming to?

 

Actually, it's arguable that people like you are the downfall of media. Quit bitching about them "stealing you dignity" or whateverthefuck you're saying. Nobody thinks these people represent all Italians (everybody knows that's The Sopranos) it's just a documentation of a really odd subculture who really are like that. Trust me, when people hear I'm from NJ they assume I'm like those douchebags, but that's been going on for years.

 

Here's his Facebook group.

http://www.facebook.com/home.php#/group ... 3205737281


Ah, SUNY Cortland. If guidos were the aliens from Aliens, this is where they would burst from the chests of their human hosts.

 

Snooki is so fucking short they had to get her a little stool so her midget legs wouldn't dangle off the chair. I was cracking up big time when I noticed that.

 

Look, we all know this is not what all Italians are like. There are PLENTY of Italians where I live, way up here in South-Western Ontario. The mayor of our city is Italian (though she sucks as a mayor). We don't think you all drive IROCS and wear black clothes to clubs and blow your part-time paycheques on Sea-Doo gasoline and put a quarter pound of pommade into your air. However, these assholes do. They're a genre that people on this board just LOOOOOOOOVE to roast, and that goes double for metrosexuals and hipsters.

Feel me, bro?

No, seriously. Feel them. They're obviously gay and they want you.

 

We do, however, believe that you are attracted to the scent of spiced pork deli meats. But that's science.

 

Eyyyy why yous gotta be breakin' my balls?

Seriously, any time you start a sentence with, "As an..., I am truly disgusted/offended" people won't take you seriously. Just enjoy good old-fashioned sterotypical humor for what it's worth.

 

Jersey Shore Rule #37: It is perfectly acceptable for a girl who claims her boyfriend is the love of her life and she would soooo never have a relationship like this with any other man, to grind up against other guys in a club as long as its to house music. R&B though, and you've got a problem.

Also, knocking a bitch out and knocking a bitch up are usually mutually exclusive activities.

 

I'm not referring to anyone on this site, more along the lines of the idiots that think this is real television. I watched the show just to laugh at how ridiculously dumb these people are, but in the back of my mind I know some retarded kid is going to try and use a "go back to Jersey" comeback and think he's original. The show is funny to watch but when you think about it, by watching it we tell MTV that this is the kind of shit we actually like.

 

I fuckin love it.

 

12. When the situation says something about him being able to get any girl, will get any girl when he chooses or says that he will be forsure "pounding out" some girl, and then gets shot down.

Its happened at least 3 times so far.

 

If you act like a guido, people will say "go back to jersey" if you don't, they wont.

And how great was this line last night "so, i'm about to take this girl to my room and have sex with her, that's pretty much the situation right now"

The Situation is actually a friend of a friend's older brother. Which is bizarre. I'd try and meet the dude to tell him exactly how awesome he is, but I think the situation is that he's gone all Hollywood.

 

One of two things is happening here. He's either everything he seems to be, in which case I'll watch anything he ever does until I fucking die. Or, he's a fucking genius, in which case I'll watch anything he ever does until I fucking die. That's the situation.

Give him a show. For the love of Christ, someone give him a show.

 

I'm guessing you're a central Jersey guy like myself. I actually from the same town as the Situation, Manalapan, though I'm a few years younger. Despite this, I am 100% sure I met him when I was in high school. He was that older dude who was sometimes around and got booze for the hot high school girls. I've been talking to people back home who have older siblings and pretty much everyone has confirmed that everything he does is exactly what they would expect and none of it is a show.

 

Motion seconded. I'll admit--it was really fucking hard for me to look past the Ed Hardy shirts, fist pumping, faux tans, and guido/ette identification and see redeeming value in these butt-nuggets. Because they're the kind of people who push their over-the-top group identification to such an extreme that it's impossible to NOT hate on them. Hell, I'd hate a group of church kids if they pushed their God groupie schtick this far and in such a LOUD manner like these kids do. I guess it is just the way I was raised--I find all attention-seeking people to be wrong. I think clubbing every night until 4 AM is wrong. I think having a Jersey accent and doing nothing to neutralize it is horrible (only slightly kidding on that one).

But I was somewhat wrong. I was fully expecting to see brah-fighting, catty bitch behavior, and epic "Yo, bitch, you's nevuh gonna take my hey-r gel!" battles of Jerry-Springer trash proportions. I mean.....it's MTV. That is pretty much their standard operating procedure.

Instead, I see people who are coexisting peacefully and actually respecting one another like adults should. Snooki--that poor physical imitation of Christina Aguilera's Dirrrrrty days--is actually a sweetheart who likes to practice gymnastics on the dance floor. While you may disagree with her Bump-It and muddy complexion, you cannot deny the universal appeal of a midget doing gymnastics in a public area. But only to house music and NOT grinding R&B, mind you. And "The Situation"....'roid muscles and spikey hair aside, he's also a secret sweetie. Only a gentleman would try to offer late-night snacks to a ladyfriend in hopes of bribing her to stay and fuck. Awesome.

This is by NO means a complete acceptance of these people, their external appearance, or lifestyle. But they're not total asswipes. Not to get all 3rd grade Bible school or anything, but I think they're decent people where it counts (on the inside, for you heathens who have no idea what I'm talking about). And they're fucking HILARIOUS where it counts for me--on late night MTV.

 

That's the thing though. No one is saying (seriously at least) that these are some separate species of degenerates. They are people just like you and I. The problem IS their fucking veneer. The show these people put for attention and pussy. That is what is hilarious and pathetic about them. Their veneer is so carefully put together that they hide whatever their real personalities are completely ignored. "The situation" is the perfect example. He actually seems like a decent guy but the fucking song and dance that he puts on is so obviously fake and so carefully put together that it just comes off as pathetic and annoying.

 

A writer from the San Antonio Express-News compared the show "Jersey Shore" to some of the college football teams this year, I found it pretty hilarious.

It's a Jersey Thing

(I'm still pretty retaahded when it comes to working this site, and didn't quite know how to quote the article instead of linking...)

 

These two (and yes one is in fact Kate Micucci who played "The Gooch" on Scrubs) have so many great songs, but I think of this one every time I think or see something about Jersey Shore. I would pay good money for someone to blast that song when the cast walked into a bar.


(NSFW language)


I do recommend checking out some of their other videos as well.