MTV's Jersey Shore (was "Jersey without my hair gel")

I think it would be more entertaining if they ALL went to jail and got rice bagged whilst in there. THAT would make for a funny episode.

Ronnie is a whiney dirtbag hack. However, whatever, the guy's a piece of shit just like everyone else on the show. Let's face it: we watch this show because it's funny to watch nincompoops act like nincompoops. We HATE these self righteous hypocrites and in real life we wouldn't piss on them if they were on fire. With the fan base these assholes have now (plus merchandise: have you SEEN the fucking "Fist Pumping Like Champs" and "Team Snooki" t-shirts!?!?!) they'll probably have endless run-off shows like those ass hats from Road Rules.

 

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Your fix is accepted and applauded, because you are right on the coin. The "celebrities" from the I Love Blah shows? I could do them with a bucket of water and a bad extension cord. I mean, my GOD. That "Useless Bitch Wants A Millionaire" show was so Satanic it literally drove some dickweed into a murder-suicide.

....that could make a GREAT show!!! Call it "Electrocute a Ding-Dong". You get bonus cash for making them foam at the mouth or make their eyeballs pop out of their empty skulls.

Kubla, I saw that merchandise (I couldn't capture it for the board yet, though. Denied) on one of the offical sites for the show. I was looking for a message board for it so I can direct people here so they can see what people that aren't stupid think of their so-called stars. No success.

 

Maaann, you is just hatin.

Before they eliminated the 60-something year old fatass, crazy film producer in the first episode, and the aggressive, psychotic plumber in episode 2, it was shaping up to be an awesome, exciting show. I'm also not sure why they stopped airing episodes JUST because one of the contestants happened to be a murdering psychopath. I mean, talk about the producers going overboard...

After all, I still enjoy "The Naked Gun" films even if OJ is in them.

I just hope I live to the day when "Redneck Brawls" is on the tube.

 

The situation is like a navy seal, he gets sent out on the battlefield to pick up girls.

The guy is the funniest person on the show. Vinnie is definitely the most normal, but only the situation can think he's like a navy seal, and be serious about it.

How did they hire they bitchiest girls for this show? If they are going to be terrible people, can't they at least be better looking?

 

It's all about the American Crew. Armband tattoos. Tinted sunglasses. Fuckin' Patron. Seadoo Ridin'. Honda CRX. Fuckin' fucking shit up all goddamn day. What the fuck you lookin' at? Kick yer fuckin' ass RIGHT NOW. Me AND my boy.....and six other friends.

 

I personally thought the best part of the episode was the catfight. Snookie getting punched in the face, yet again, by that damn wildebeest. I would be frightened to mess with that girl. And the slew of absolutely unoriginal and horrible boring insults the blond girl was throwing as she was being dragged away by the cops, all before a timely cut shot to the Situation's intended slam-piece drunkenly tipping over as she sat on the steps. The editing makes this show amazing. The quick glimpse of Pauly D smirking as he held a crazy bitch back or Ronnie getting annoyed and basicaly chucking a charging girl out of the way. I could watch that shit all day.

 

Re: The Arrest

Does the video help Ronnie or not? I wonder because as much as that bald dickbag constantly antagonizes Ronnie I believe Ronnie threw the first punch and for the most part attacked the bald asshole. I have read a couple different site's that say he got off and nothing was put on his perm. record.

This show is a total guilty pleasure, I have written a script for the folks at MTV and Jersey Shore that will guarantee a very highly rated show.

SITUATION-(addressing Vinnie) hey...their is no way around this, Pauly D and I are going to jump Ronnie, you ahhhh in??

VINNIE- I'm in. First let's sew Sammi's mouth shut so she can't talk anymore.

J-WOW-- Hey guys me and Sammi decided to get nude for the rumble and her mouth is sewn shut, should we meet you at the beach?

PAULY D- Beach, we have never been there!!! Why aahhh start now??

Huge fight happens Ronnie knocks out poor Vinnie but then ends up getting thumped. Show ends with Pauly and Situation throwing Snookie in the ocean.

By the way my "ahhhhh's" are to add an Italian feel no offense to any of our Italian board members.

 

The guys on this show are such pathetic fucking JOKES. Mike stealing a girl while schmuck #2 is in the bathroom? I don't know where you're from, but in MY world when a guy starts pawing all over a girl you're with (whether it's a nemesis or your closest friend), that's and act of WAR. Not an act of "go sit in the corner and sulk".

...and is it just me, or does Snooki get fatter as this stupid series progresses?

 

Agreed. That girl was batshit insane and it was hilarious watching her emotionally unravel like that. I might be wrong, but didn't the confrontation in the club end with Pauly telling her that he really liked her and them going back into the club holding hands? I'd rewatch it sometime to check but there's no way this show deserves that sort of scrutiny.

 

Yeah, they loft the club together, and she said something about her showing him Seaside. How I waste mental energy remembering that is beyond me.

And The Situation is such a bitch. Either they are doing a masterful job editing this or he is just a straight up prick. He is "creeping" on Sammy, he "creeped" on the club slut Vinny was going after, he caused a huge confrontation and got Sham-Wow kicked out (although, to be fair, she was being a bitch by demanding he leave with her), he is a fucking dick to Snickers-bar. He really reminds me of some douche I knew in college with that smirk and as far as I can tell, he has yet to actually get laid.

 

It's not war but it's close to violating guy code. Don't try and pick up a girl that your boy is working; if she is clearly interested in you bring your buddy aside and talk about it. Don't steal her in while he's in the bathroom that's lowbrow no matter if she's a club slut or a nice girl.

 

Which brings up another discussion topic, when The Situation called Snooki out on her fat rolls. I might be asked to surrender my girl card on this one, but I will go on record saying that Snooki was just as big a shithead as Mike during this whole exchange.

During dinner, Mike gets super irritating and Snooki gets annoyed. So she lashes out at him, telling him to shut up, and that no one in the house really likes him anyway. Then, to get back at her, Mike takes an easy shot at her by telling her she has fat rolls. So Snooki stomps off bawling, and all of the sudden Mike is the biggest prick in the whole world. Clearly, everyone knows that all girls are sensitive about their weight, and to make a comment directed at a person's known insecurities is just beyond reproach. But wait a fucking minute - Snooki just told him that no one in the house likes him. I think it's pretty clear that behind this whole ripped abs, creeping on girls, dancing at the clubs, "Situation" nonsense, Mike is really just an insecure doofus. So why was it acceptable for Snooki to punch Mike right in the gut by confirming his worst fear of not being accepted by the group?

Look, don't get me wrong - I get that girls are sensitive about their appearance. I am certainly no exception. But here's a real shocker - guys are sensitive about some stuff too. You're a dick if you make a jab purposely intended to hurt someone's feelings, whether you're male or female. I am not defending anyone here, Snooki and Mike are both outstandingly shitty people. But why is it considered "wronger" to call a girl fat than it is to tell a guy that he's not liked?

 

Please stop calling him "The Situation". No man on earth reserves the right to give himself a nickname, especially one that's meant to sound cool or imposing. Otherwise, I would have a much cooler nickname than the one I've had for half my life. His name is Whiney McFuckstick from now on.

I think it's because of the reaction it normally recieves. Let's face it, women are more apt to wearing their insecurities on their sleeves. Tell a guy he's not liked, the reaction usually is along the lines of "So....the problem isssssss......" tell most girls that's they're fat, and its Showtime At The Apollo with the most psychotic outbursts you can imagine. I'm sure a little bitch like Mike probably cries himself to sleep when on the nights he doesn't bring some fleabag bar star home from whatever Fistfest he attends, but he'd rather be dead than have other people KNOW that.

 

Can someone please explain to me why every man in that house decides to pick out the ugliest chicks in the club?

I know they're douche bags, but come on: they have fucking tv cameras following them! You can't tell me they can't do a bit better than old hags (Vinnie), weird Israelie chicks (Pauly D), that ugly house slut Ronnie is banging, or pretty much anything Mike creeps on.

And also, Snookie pisses me off. I only started watching the show because my fiance really got into it, but damnit if it wasn't awesome seeing Snookie's world ruined after getting called out on her weight.

 

I really think MTV called the cops out of liability (they probably can't witness a crime) how else would the police know to ask for Ronnie?

If I was Mike I wouldn't have walked JWOW home either. All she does is tell him she hates him, so he is supposed to leave a girl he is with and walk her home? Also just to let everyone know in the Tropicana there are ton's of bar's so basically she walked from the bar to her hotel room all within the confines of the casino. She never set foot outside. I would have walked just about any girl I knew home that night, but if it was some drama queen that got smashed and called me names all the time I would have told her to hoof it herself as well.

It's funny how it's ok to say "shut up everyone hates you" but not "you already have a couple roll's." It's rude and insensitive and stupid, but I notice allot of it's ok for me to insult you but not ok for you to insult me in the house.

I still hate Sami almost as much as E from Entourage. I wonder if Ronnie is allowed to order from female waitresses, or if he is at work what does he do when a girl wants to buy a shirt?? Seeing he is never allowed to talk to girls.

Believe it or not Pauly D has actually emerged as the most decent guy on the show which is shocking because at first sight his blowout pegged him for the show's superdouche.

Two things:

One: here is my jersey shore ranking from best to worst of who on the show is actually tolerable.

1. Pauly D
2. Vinnie
3. Snookie- (kind of a drama queen but for the most part ok)
4. Situation
5. Ronnie (he has gotten into two brawls making for great TV)
6. JWOW (her breasts are the only reason she is ranked this high)
7. Bald guy knocked out by Ronnie
8. Big Fat Blonde that fought Snookie
9. Stalker Chick
10. Sammi

Secondly, does anyone currently go to Seaside Hights? I would love to here if there is a problem of invading "jersey shore" types. It seems to be a problem!

 

We go to the area around there in the summer, most people know that Sleazeside is filled with Guido's. It's not like the show can cause an influx, they all go there already. The only think that residents can hope for is an influx of gawkers trying to find JWOWW's boobs.