My Bad, Drunk Thread. My Bad. 7/13/12

Yeah, I'd have to say, W.T.F.? and go with option 3. If they are so tacky that they don't realize how crappy it is to make everyone waste so much time, then don't go to either one.

 

Option 1 without a doubt.

Surely there is something close in the area you can do to fill those few hours.

 

How about going to the wedding and then skipping the reception?

 

I disagree. Weddings fucking suck. No one should have to go sit in a stuffy church, stand, kneel, do all kinds of mumbo jumbo with your hands, sing hymns and all that jazz. The wedding is the 'necessary evil' on the way to a party.

Besides - most brides these days aren't looking at the crowd in the church unless they can see their own reflection in the pews. No one will know you weren't there. If anyone brings it up at the reception, just give the standard bullshit. "She looked so beautiful... I got all choked up during the vows... wasn't it just the most lovely day?... I loved the readings they chose. 1 Corinthians 13 is my favourite."

I'm biased. I hate weddings.

 

An egotistical, solipsist that expects people to sit on their ass for a 4 hour service honoring her gag inducing vows. I bet there will be a slideshow; or a nauseating guest book filled with stupid fucking pictures of "how I met my baby!"

This whole thing makes me irrationally angry and I'm not even involved. Mya, skip the wedding. Show up to the reception. Drink all her booze and proclaim you have a way better rack. If asked why you weren't there for the service, deny deny deny until it becomes truth. Challenge her to prove otherwise. Accentuate every syllable by jamming your finger into her chest; the smell of rum mixed with wine wafting into her over-rouged face.

Even receptions are full of shit. Pandering speeches might as well be fellatio. You want people to share in your day, that's great. Don't turn it into some lavish ceremony for self aggrandizement and expect everyone to pay you homage, your highness. Last wedding I went to, me and my pal snuck out during that nonsense to get more drinks. The best man's speech was interrupted by the door slamming loudly as we left.

Shut up and start the chicken dance, fags.

 

I'm sure the timing wasn't intentional. It's not always easy to get the church time to line up with the reception. A lot of Catholic churches have a 4:00 or 4:30 pm mass on Sat. so the last wedding they'll do is 2:00, figuring on an hour ceremony, then pictures in the church, then someone has to clean up the rice/birdseed and aisle runner, etc.

If you go to the ceremony, you may see other friends you don't see as often and you could always go have a few drinks before the reception. But if you decide to forgo it, I don't think the bride and groom are going to spend any time at the ceremony making a list of who is and isn't there. They're going to have other things on their minds.

 

People who adhere so strictly to the "no viewing the bride/bridegroom before the wedding ceremony" tradition that they're forced to schedule their photography sessions in between the ceremony and the reception. It's super rude on their part, though, to make their guests wait so long.

And everyone wonders why I hate weddings and balk at attending any of them. You're basically sacrificing an entire day (fuck, if you are close enough to either party to score an invite to the reception dinner/day-after brunch, you're sacrificing an entire weekend) to watch two people manufacture an indulgent ceremony that "celebrates" a piece of paper. And you pay for the privilege of that sacrifice in the form of gifts, travel and lodging expenses, venue-appropriate attire, and (for some) child care. I would gladly sacrifice endless amounts of time and a fuckload of money for the few friends I deeply care for if it would make their celebration a happier time for them. But nowadays, you get an invitation to the wedding of everyone who has ever farted in your general direction.

I'll bet you all can tell what I'm doing this weekend.

 

Isn't the usual thing to do between the ceremony and the reception, just to get loaded at some local watering hole anyway?

 

My fiance's family is the fucking worst when it comes to this stuff. I've been to three weddings for her family members and each one had an early (and excruciatingly long) ceremony, followed by at least a 4-5 hour gap until the reception. In one instance, the reception was 2.5 hours away from where the ceremony was...and then it was a cash bar.

That's why our ceremony is at the same place as the reception and will last no more than 15 minutes--tops. We're also taking most of our pictures before the ceremony so we can enjoy ourselves the rest of the night. Fuck any other noise.

Also, Kate Upton is a knock-out. To call her fat should qualify a person as clinically insane.

 

I don't understand it. If you people hate weddings so much, why go to them? Say you're not attending, send them a card with a $50 check and be done with it. What's the big fucking deal?

 

Open bar and single pussy.

 

I love weddings. But then again I've never gone to a wedding where I didn't hook up, so that might have something to do with it. Plus (usually) free drinks and food? I can think of worse ways to spend an afternoon.

 

Option 1.

You can productively fill the time in between by volunteering at a soup kitchen, working the door at a methadone clinic, helping old women across the street or petting kittens. Your friend has given you the opportunity to be the person your mother always wished you could be, use it wisely.

 

The complaint was about the time gap, not weddings in general. I can't think of a wedding I've ever been to where I didn't have a great time.

Edit: I'm coupling the reception with the ceremony, the ceremonies themselves are always boring as shit, but more than worth it for the reception.

 

I don't think option 2 sounds that bad. On the other hand, have you ever been to a Catholic wedding? I went to one. The ceremony was more than an hour. Almost two (it felt that way).

But in the end, it may be best to just take option 3. Especially if you rarely see them. Just send them a card and some money. The moneys will make them forget that you skipped the entire thing.

Yup. It would be 2 or 3 to me.

 

Wait, Mya, aren't you married with no kids? How is this even a discussion? The obvious answer is drunken sex in public between the ceremony and reception. Surely there's a library close by.

 

This hasn't been brought up yet, but if you're friends with the groom chances are no one will notice you aren't at the ceremony and even if they do they won't give a shit.

 

It is tacky to skip the wedding and only go to the reception. The bride and groom won't catch you so you'll get away with it, but fundamentally they invited you to the wedding and you're skipping it and getting the meal. I've actually been to a reception recently where the couple specifically invited people only to the reception so as to keep the wedding part itself very small and private. There, obviously, it's correct to only hit the reception. If, on balance, going to the wedding, waiting the four hours and then hitting the reception is too much of a pain to tolerate for the degree to which you know these people (and I think it's a ridiculous way to schedule things) then you should RSVP no, but you shouldn't RSVP yes and then skip the wedding.

I'm a big proponent of taking into account the jackassery of the wedding plan into my decision as to whether to attend or not. Even if a good friend of mine invited me to a wedding where I had to hike up a mountain all day, then back down, then wait three hours before the reception, and then have to get strip searched by the TSA to enter the room I'd tell him no thanks because the plans were retarded. But if I said yes to him, then I'd go find some comfortable hiking boots.