The only experiences I've had with dating out of my race has been my ginger phase a few years ago. Other than that I was into blondes for a while and now I'm in a black hair pattern. Totally afraid I would make an ass out of myself even more than I do with white chicks. When I was in high school I stayed in the area while my girlfriend went to a rowing camp for spring break. Her folks suggested I fly down to Washington National and surprise her when she arrived for her return home connecting flight. Well, weather grounded all the flights and we had to stay overnight at a hotel. Being the good girl she was she rented two rooms for us but we of course shacked up together. The next morning I went to my room to shower and it was if someone had just left the room. The sheets were mussed & the shower had just been used. The hotel must have figured what we were up to and double booked. When I saw her dad when we arrived at Logan he told me I shouldn't me smirking so much and if I mentioned anything to her mum things would end badly.
"What's your favorite book?" "From Pieces to Weight" "...Oh my. I take it you'll be ordering the fried chicken?" Teasing of audrey aside, let's not pretend that class and cultural touchstones are somehow separable from race, as if they are distinct topics without inherent overlap. FOCUS: I'm from New Hampshire. What the fuck do you think?
Focus : I was dating a Half Thai 1/4, Native American (Blackfoot Indian), 1/4Welsh girl in high school, who first started off as my math tutor and lived 6 blocks away. Her mom was full-Thai, but divorced and re-married and her Stepdad was a big tall ass white guy. Only two really awkward times ever happened. The first was the "What are your intentions with my daughter?" that I knew it was coming when he offered to drive me home 6 blocks away when it was 80 degrees out. I flipped the question quickly to "I'm more worried about her intentions with me are. I appreciate the math help and have fun hanging out with her, but she has this look in her eye, what do I do?" He laughed, told me I was full of shit and to not to give her any STDs. He wasn't worried about pregnancy, because he had her on BC since she was 14, for good reason. Fastforward a year, we're setting up for her prom. I put down money for the limo, and she was covering the hotel. We're at her place in her dads office on the computer, he walks in the room where the computer was and drops his CC on the desk. "How much am I looking at?" "About 165 Dad, it's prom season." I'm sitting right there, but apparently third person was necessary for the following: "165 for a hotel you're only going to be in for about 8 hours? Holy hell honey, I hope he fucks your brains out!" Both of us were mortified. And...yes, yes I did. Alt-Focus: I'm American, who happens to be black, with a splash Cherokee Indian. I haven't seriously dated a black girl or even gotten past kissing one. Not that I don't like them, I just can't find one with real hair, real nails and a gym membership. When I was in high school I always joked about getting all "31 Flavors" and I've always kept that in mind. But I got it in my mind to cheat by dating multi-racial girls. When I ask a girl what she is and she gets to that second "and" I light up like a Christmas tree. You see my ex from up-top tri-racial, dated a Columbian/ Black/Italian, and also a Italian/Chinese/Peruvian/French girl. I think its the exotic rarity that gets me. Race was never an issue with any of them because they were all American and well with that many different flavors, you can't land on any good racial jokes. I dated a white girl from CT, where I had to give her more of an orientation than vice versa. The N word rule, the actual deal with fried chicken, watermelon, purple drink, and 'chitlins'. I'm currently dating a blonde now. No idea what it is but since hitting 21, white girls have been all on me. Could be the masters degree, no jail record, no tattoos, good credit and no baby momma's but that'd just be a racist assumption. I'm her first black guy, but I don't think she really even considers race as she hates when I never bring race up. But she's also not liking the fact that black girls give her dirty looks when we're out, she's still not getting used to that.
I...am really embarrassed. I don't really put any thought into these posts and am usually writing them within a few minutes of waking up, but I should have been more careful writing this particular one because the wording is awful and it's being misinterpreted all over the place and good god I sound like a terrible person. Please ignore everything in the alt-focus up until the oscar wao story, because that's really the only part of it that was relevant anyway. Basically, what the rambling in the first part of the alt-focus was attempting to say was that I found the culture clashes more difficult to handle than I expected. As for the specific questions: Why do you date rappers if you're so awkward talking about it? I don't. I went on one date with one rapper, and all he wanted to talk about was his rap career and I was laughing at my attempts to keep up with the conversation. I don't like dating musicians in general, though, for this same reason. Why do you think you "don't think you can do it?" Because of the culture clash. I'm not particularly proud of this, but I've found this has a larger effect on how compatible I think I am with someone that I'd like it to be. I haven't been able to get very close with people who have different backgrounds from me, like with where they grew up, or what religion they are, or what political beliefs they have, or how much education they have and, yes, race, because more often than not people are shaped by their race. I have friendships where this is the case, and I've dated people where this is the case, and I've hooked up with people where this is the case because there's only one single thing that matters when you hook up with someone, but when it comes to a serious long-term romantic relationship it's too much of a divide for me, for any of those circumstances. Obviously there are plenty of potential opportunities for exceptions to the rules because obviously not everyone that belongs to one demographic or another acts exactly the same as everyone else in the demographic, and obviously I am talking in generalities which is obviously a dangerous thing to do, but obviously I've had enough varied experiences dealing with this type of situation that have all turned out similarly that have made me assume that things would carry out in the same way if I were to try it again and obviously I'm not ever going to rule out someone completely just because they fall into one of the demographics I'm wary of, and obviously sometimes the reasons we were incompatible didn't really have anything to do with culture or lifestyle clashes. I thought all those disclaimers were implied, but that was stupid to assume everyone was going to fill in those gaps on their own, seeing as how I'm just some anonymous person on an internet message board and all. Am I reading it wrong, or are you implying that you think it's utterly impossible for you to find a slightly-pretentious non-rapping black guy to talk about about artsy stuff with? I was absolutely not implying that. And I take some umbrage with your usage of inevitably. You're right. Wrong word choice. Usually? So far we end up being...? And I can't even get into the whole "I'll hook up with them but I won't marry them" because I might detach a cornea eye-rolling. See explanation above, but you can continue your eye rolling at the joke me and my friend's mom have because, sure, it's not p.c. I'm sure none of this changed your mind, and I'm sure that I ended up just embarrassing myself more, but I couldn't leave that as is.
Please keep posting rebuttals. It is fucking hilarious watching you attempt to justify the fact you aren't clearly racist.
Is that really one sentence? Besides all of your other blather...WTF? Didn't they teach sentence structure in your high school?
The first guy I dated that I ever legitimately cared about/was into was a delightful Chinese/German mix. He was pretty white-washed so there was no culture clash at all. His dad is super Asian and to this day one of my favorite people ever. I did however enjoy making Asian comments to the boyfriend whenever possible. We were out to dinner at some sort of Asian restaurant and he complained about something so I gave him the most serious look and said "Quit complaining. We're only here for you." Lately, I've been experiencing a lot of attraction towards brown dudes. I have a customer who is remarkably hot and well-dressed and has probably sparked most of this infatuation. I make no secret of my current life plan to meet, marry and pump out little Lebanese babies with Nazem Kadri.
Start thinking more coffee at Barnes & Noble in Union Square with a daggered glance to the Dominican girl who fucks up her order followed by 'what is wrong with you, do you speak English. I said I wanted a fucking WET soy latte' before turning to you and mentioning offhand 'we give them the fucking courtesy of sneaking into this country they could at least learn the language'.
The Idiot Board: I came for the intelligent discourse, I stayed for the verbal assaults. Good work team.
In response to this audrey uproar...so what? She doesn't like dating black guys and, more importantly, if she pretended otherwise the bias would still be there. Making unfunny jokes and rolling your eyes at her doesn't change anything. Plus, there is a certain level of hypocrisy in stereotyping a white girl based on very limited information for stereotyping black men based on very limited information. I know a white girl who exclusively dates black men, isn't that just as "bad"? Fo' realz, I'm all ears for a rational response that doesn't get all angry over users being emotionally honest. Focus: The first and only girl I have ever dated for an extended period of time was easily a 9. Smoking hot blonde, really cool, probably the most attractive girl I have ever been with. Her dad was this massive overbearing Jew who for lord knows what reason made it his goal to catch us hooking up. One day after school we were just finishing up some sexing when I hear the garage door open. Adrenaline levels immediately spike and I throw on my shirt and jeans in 10 seconds flat, but the girlfriend was struggling to get her bra strapped or something. Needless to say, the dad sprints from garage all the way upstairs and storms into his daughter's room with me, fully clothed but blushing firetruck red and her behind a closet door fumbling with her shirt. And a condom wrapper on the floor. He just started shouting at us to "get out" and her mom eventually called us after an hour once things had cooled down for "the talk". It was the most painfully embarrassing conversation I have ever had. In the end her parents called mine and it was just one big shit storm, but looking back I was truly lucky to walk away without her dad shotgunning me in the face.
Dude it was light jesting generated off several remark each more accidentally racist than the prior. There was no uproar. It was the honesty that made it so hilarious when someone said they are attracted to black guys, are happy to date/fuck them but just could never marry one because they are too different.
Back on topic, eh? Focus: I, like another poster, married my high school girlfriend. However, this almost didn't happen. We started dating when I was a senior and she was a sophomore in high school. Two years, now, isn't a big difference at all. However, back then, it meant I was 17 when she was 15, which meant I could drive and she couldn't. We actually first started to get to know each other when her mom relented and let me give her a ride home from a party after a football game.* Of course, being teens, we had sex. My mother-in-law (who even back then fucking hated me) flat out ASKED my wife if we'd had sex. My wife (who later told me she "couldn't lie to her mother") said yes, we had. Her parents go ballistic, and tell her that she isn't allowed to see me outside of school until I come over and 'have a talk' with them. Every single one of my guy friends told me to dump her for being stupid and telling her parents that we were having sex. I wrestled with it for a good week, before finally deciding that I liked her enough to bite the bullet and go over there for the conversation. It was incredibly awkward, and basically consisted of "we don't want her to get pregnant, don't do it again, you're never allowed alone together again, we don't like or trust you." They also forbid her from getting on the pill, thinking that if she wasn't taking birth control, she'd be too afraid to have sex (and they were wrong, and stupid). For the next two years until we both went away to college, it was just an epic pain in the ass. Her mom would randomly drive by my parents' house to see if we were there, and if we were there, she'd knock on the door to see if my parents were home. This happened at least once a month, where we were there and my parents were home. Lord knows how often they drove by when we were on dates at the movies or out to dinner or something. Once, when I was 20 and my wife was 18 (she was still a senior in high school) we'd gotten back to my house at 4:55, and my dad was due home from work in a matter of minutes (he never got home after 5 pm). Her mom drove by, screamed at us about how she couldn't ever trust us, and took my wife home. I tried to explain that we were waiting in the car until my dad got there (we hadn't even had a chance to get out of the car before she was screaming at us), but she wouldn't have any of it. My dad literally pulled into the driveway as my mother-in-law was pulling out of the driveway. My dad just goes "what was that all about?" and I explained it too him. He laughed and goes "boy, I hope she is worth it." After we were both away at college, my wife got on birth control and shit calmed down, mostly because we were far away from her parents. We'd regularly stay the night at each others' rooms. When we'd go home, they'd say "so how often are you staying over at each others' rooms?" and my wife would just say something like "on occasion, I'm usually studying." By then, my wife had learned how to deal with her mom's bullshit. After we had been together for six years, we decided to move in together. Six years, and you'd have thought we had just started dating two weeks earlier. I had a decent apartment that I could afford on my own, since I was working, and we could live entirely off of my salary. She was still in school and needed a cheap place to live, and we were spending the night together more often than not anyway. Even despite ALL of this, her parents were still fucking livid when we told them of our plans. Luckily, after my wife explained to my father-in-law all the money he'd be saving by her living with me, along with me asking their permission to propose to her (yes, I did the "gentlemanly thing and asked their permission), they calmed down about it. In the end, my mother-in-law still harbors a grudge against me, and blames me for any and all of the friction between her and my wife, because nothing is ever, ever my mother-in-law's fault. *I still like to joke to my mother-in-law that this is her biggest regret in life. She always gives a half-hearted "not its not," but we both know that she regrets letting my wife get a ride home with me that night
It is. Didn't you ever wonder why Futurewife Futurewhistles while she Futurewalks? Volo, Frank, feel free to sift through a bag of day old dicks. If you think calling people out for saying stupid shit and mocking them is cool, but give "accidental racism" a pass because it doesn't pertain to you, you're not exactly the arbiter of intelligent discourse. /soapbox.