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Name thy spawn!

Discussion in 'General Discussion' started by DrFrylock, May 18, 2011.

  1. abneretta

    abneretta
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    Clearly she named her daughter after seeing The Fifth Element. May I introduce you to the original Lelu:
    [​IMG]
    I actually really like Bruce Willis' character's name in that movie, Corbin.

    I think we've finally settled on a name for the occupant of my uterus, though I'm hesitant to throw it out to you vultures. Finding a boys name would have been much easier, but after having my first list shot down (as a whole, not just some of the names but every. Single. One.) I found this name and it just seems to fit. We've decided on Everly Louise.
     
  2. bewildered

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    Is Everly short for Beverly?
     
  3. ghettoastronaut

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    So my trend prediction was wrong. Instead of confusing normal names and diseases, we're just removing the first letters from every name. Madison to Addison, Beverly to Everly... what next? Orothy? Amantha?
     
  4. abneretta

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    No ma'am. That's why I like it, it's different but not ridiculous.

    I'm gonna go ahead and throw this out there too, to save you guys the trouble:
     
    #84 abneretta, May 18, 2011
    Last edited by a moderator: Mar 27, 2015
  5. WASPnest

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    I know this kid named Kestrel. I can't decide if it's retarded or bad ass. Few enough people know what they are, so it almost passes for a real name.

    I've never met a Nicole I didn't like. I see we all agree that Tiffany can fuck right off.

    Working too much in hospitality in Canada has made me immediately suspicious of anyone with a French name, although objectively I like the sound of them. It's just a sort of "I'm going to have to cover a morning shift" feeling.

    My picks for kids names would be Alfred, because all of the men in my family spend their childhood getting kicked around anyway, and Morgan for a girl because they're all a bit scary.
     
  6. AlmostGaunt

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    A friend of mine knocked up his missus at 19 or so, and he told me they were naming the kid Jasmine, which I actually think is a very nice name, hopefully unrelated to my perverse obsession with the Disney character of the same name. Then I saw the tatt on his arm, and they spelled it Jazmyn. This makes me irrationally angry.

    A relative has 6 kids under 6, and he named them all after boxers. Including the girl. Tyson, Kosta, etc etc. Yeah, he also has a pitbull with a spiked collar and a moderate rap sheet.

    Relative on the other side got preggers at 16 to a drug dealer who already had 2 kids by 2 other 16 yr olds, all friends. Her daughter's name is Kayla. Her aunts and cousins have made up a cute lullaby with many verses, the only one of which I can remember goes something like "Kayla Kayla Kayla, you're going to live in a trailer, you'll be on the dole*, or working the pole, till somebody comes and nails ya".

    Yeah, Christmas is a blast.

    *Dole = Australian unemployment benefits.
     
  7. bukowskionice

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    Kind of shocked I haven't seen a massive rant about this one.

    Parents of the world--for the love of Christ, stop with the fucking -aden names.

    Aiden. Braden. Kaden. Jayden. Hayden. Especially considering most of them are uni-sex names, there will be elementary classrooms in upcoming years where half of the goddamn kids all have names that rhyme. Every time I see one of the white trash yokels I went to high school with announce a pregnancy on facebook, I shudder, knowing one of these wretched fuckhole names will spring forth. Unfortunately, it happens more often than not.

    And goddammit, if in 20 years, I meet a 6-year-old named Aiden Jr., I'm going to choke him out on the spot.






    On second though, if you name your kid Raiden and he shoots lightning from his fingertips, I will give you a high-five.
     
  8. Rush-O-Matic

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    This reminds me of name-shortening that I hate: Christopher should be Chris, not Topher and Alexander should be Alex not Xander and so on.
     
  9. Rush-O-Matic

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    The only song from the 80's like that that I can think of is not Aaliyah - it's "Ah, Leah" by Donnie Iris.with Awful Video So, that's even funnier if she's name after a misheard song lyric.
     
  10. The Village Idiot

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    This is an easy one, I'm naming my son (which my wife is extremely unwilling to have, or even try to make) the following:

    Christopher Alexander (Village Idiot's last name), Defender of the Faith, Punisher of the Unworthy, Ruler of the Americas, Deflowerer of Unwary Virgins, Dreadnought of the Vikings, Destroyer of Worlds, Killer of Prudes and Fantastical Ice Cream Eater.

    We'll call him 'Bill' for short.
     
  11. kuhjäger

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    My wife told me that she would only have a kid in Sweden, as the society makes it easy to raise kids there. Shitloads of paid time off, dirt cheap child care.

    I agreed on the condition that if we had a boy, it would be named Bjorn, which means bear.

    One trend that pisses me off that I am seeing a lot of is giving your kid a gaelic name, to "have a connection with their roots". So you have a bunch of American kids whose only connection to Ireland is that their mom once blew an Irish setter, running around with names like, Braeden, Siobhan, and so on. And you just know that they pick names that aren't pronounced how they look, so they can patronizingly say "its pronounced SHAVAHN"

    My mom is the very definition of a Plastic Paddy. Irish citizen, but wasn't born there, and is more Irish than the Irish themselves. She is currently outraged about the Queen's visit to Ireland.

    She wanted to name me Padraig. Pronounced Patrick, but just spelled differently.

    Luckily my dad told her she was stupid.
     
  12. sartirious

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    I wouldn't hesitate to name any progeny after one of my paternal elders, but there is no way I'm going to name a daughter of mine Signe (sig-knee) or Astrid (aah-strid). I will be slightly more conventional than that.

    My middle name is my great-grandfathers first name, but it wasn't the name he was born with. It was given to him when he went through Ellis Island from Greece and they were unable to spell 'Sartirious', so he became 'Sam'.
     
  13. jordan_paul

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    I've never met an ugly Leah. I agree all Chads are douche bags and all women named Brittany are fucking psychotic.

    Three names Id pick for any future children would eaither be Wayne, Paul or Calvin. Hunter has a nice ring to it too.
     
  14. bewildered

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    As for mainstream, I like names like Eve and Cecelia for girls and David for a boy. A little stranger is that I love love love the name Petra for a girl. I think it is because it is a derivation of the name Peter ("rock") and the name of the female lead character in one of my favorite books that I read growing up.

    Fiance says all my female names sound like Mexican women's names and Petra is going to get our kid beat up. His favorite uncle is named David so that's one in the ringer.
     
  15. audreymonroe

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    Wait:

     
    #95 audreymonroe, May 19, 2011
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  16. scootah

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    Connor - 25 and over - proably cool
    Connor - Born any time after 1986 - Has a personality like room temperature porridge, morther was an unimaginative and unoriginal hick.

    I am instantly twice as likely to try and fuck a girl if her name can be shortened to Cat/Kat or some derrivitave therof. If Cat/Kat has red hair, all other reasonable considerations are abanadonned while I try and fuck her. I have no idea what the fuck is up with this compulsive behaviour - but I'm helpless before it.

    Wayne's are usually cool. They've had a rough life being bullied about their name. If they make it to adult hood without sucking a tail pipe, they're usually ok guys.

    Names involving personality characteristics Faith/Hope/Chastity/Promise/Joy/etc - fuck on first dates. I've never met a girl named for any kind of christian ideal who couldn't suck start a harley.
     
  17. Crown Royal

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    I agree with Waynes, but DWAYNE is a greasy haired rocker working on his Trans Am on his front lawn so their driveway can hold his ugly-ass boat for 9 months of the year. He has original print T-shirts for both Ratt and Dokken. He only calls pasta "noodles". There is cereal and broken glass scattered across his kitchen floor. His favourite meal is hotdog fried rice. He loves smoking "the lift". He needs Astroglide to put his jeans on. At parties, he fills up his punch glass by picking up the entire punch bowl and pouring it into his cup, then picks a fight with the host despite the fact nobody in the house knows who he is. He still hangs out in the parking lot of his high school at 3pm in his car, even though he hasn't attended said school in oh, 20 years.
     
  18. silway

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    Ender's Game?

    I am a big fan of the name Erica. There's good odds that if I ever have a daughter that that will be her name. It's baffling to me that a good friend of mine changed her name away from Erica.

    Boys' names I'm less certain on. I like traditional names though like David, Michael, Richard, William, etc.
     
  19. ghettoastronaut

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    This name is awesome. J'Mario.

    [​IMG]
     
  20. lust4life

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    You got that right, Ack.