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Name thy spawn!

Discussion in 'General Discussion' started by DrFrylock, May 18, 2011.

  1. McSmallstuff

    McSmallstuff
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    My boys are named Kenneth Ray (After my father) And Fredrick Julian (After the exes grandfather, and my sister.)

    All I know is Kenny and Freddy, can beat the hell out of any combination of children named; Hunter, Tad, Tristan, Dakota (or any other city/state name), and are smarter than anyone with a hyphen or any other form of punctuation in their names.
     
  2. Parker

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    I know you're not supposed to bring up old threads, but starting another suggestion for basically the same thread would be stupid. If you didn't know hear, Jay-Z and Beyonce apparently had the first baby ever in the whole fucking world and they named this poor fucking girl Blue Ivy because it's Jay-Z's favorite color.

    New Focus: What the fuck?

    Alt-Focus: What else could this name be? I think if Zoolander had a daughter, Blue Ivy would be her signature look to go with her dad's Blue Steel. Or it could be a new mixed drink using Hypnotiq. Or it could be the new club all the Russian chicks go to wearing blue wigs, lipstick and nail polish.

    Alt-Focus Remix: Anyone else hear any retarded names recently? Does this beat out Apple? Or Mariah Carey's Moroccan Scott for her son? Well there is this list, anyone like any of these celebrity names?
     
  3. lust4life

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    I never thought I'd live to see World Peace, but I can every time the Lakers take to the court.
     
  4. Eastcoaster

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    Wife just informed me over the weekend that "she will now be the designated driver for the next year or so." So the pick-a-name game has commenced at our house. It is NOT fucking easy especially when we wont know whether it's a boy or girl for a while yet. This thread helps....a bit. And no, I will not name my kid Chater Ballsack if it's a boy (although that would be a great porn name).
     
  5. BeCoolBitch_BeCool

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    From Anthony Jeselnik's Twitter:

    When I have a kid I'm going to figure out a way to fit "Sterling" or "Archer" into their name.
     
  6. Bundy Bear

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    Anyone I've had anything to do with called Tanya has been nothing but fucking trouble, also as others have said hypenated names are horseshit. What's wrong with having one first name, other names are what your middle names are for.

    My cousin has just had a baby and they called it Coby Nixon Farnham, now Farnham is a family name but the other names remind me of something limp wristed and weak.
     
  7. scootah

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    Friends of mine thought they were going to be parents over the holidays (turns out not so much, but still). They were starting to work on names which lead to a debate that is still ongoing regarding the suitability of the names 'Pepper' and 'Skye' as girls names.

    I'm of the opinion that if they're planning to put this child into many, many dance lessons, give her a giant box of bratz dolls, have daddy miss all her dance recitals, ensure that she knows to never abort an unwanted pregnancy no matter how incapable she is of supporting the child, and teacher her the value of money using dollar bills, then these names are emminently suitable. And for a middle name perhaps Divine or Desire. The not quite parents are of the belief that these names would probably never lead to their child making a living by grinding her barely clad nether regions on a chrome pole. What are your thoughts?
     
  8. Parker

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    Porn names, both porn names. Skye is the name of an "artist" or porn star.
     
  9. lyle

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    For every Dwayne, Tyler or McKenzie that spawns out of a council estate, in the depths of Kent and Sussex the upper/middle classes do their bit to propagate ridiculous names.

    Tarquin: His family probably owns a good portion of Sussex. Looks down on everyone who has a smaller income than him (even though all of his money comes from his family). Studies Classical Civilisations at Edinburgh Uni as he wasn't intelligent enough to go to Oxford or Cambridge. Spends most of his time rowing or doing his hair.

    Alistaire: His family are rich, but not upper class and he is reminded of that everyday. Yet for the most part is relatively down to earth.

    Wilhelm: Badass.

    Personally, every time I think of what I would name my eventual son (or if I had to adopt a new identity for whatever reason) I instantly jump to Cornelius. Can't explain why but for some unknown reason I love that name.
     
  10. dubyu tee eff

    dubyu tee eff
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    Thinks he has a chance with Christina Hendricks...

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    I know a dude named Addison.

    Also, every girl named Jackie seems to be a tomboy a kid and extremely loud and obnoxious for the remainder of their years.

    There are some good names on that celebrity baby name list. Some atypical ones I wouldn't immediately hate:

    Vida, Bodhie, Roman, Esme,

    Also, I predict as today's hipsters get a little older and start (unfortunately) procreating, Wolfgang will make a comeback.
     
  11. PIMPTRESS

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    If I got pregnant again I would name the baby Grover.
     
  12. Dcc001

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    Read an article yesterday suggesting that the name Blue Ivy was taken from Jay-Z's new album entitled, "Blueprint," and Beyonce's new album "IV" (Roman numeral '4').

    Just...wow.
     
  13. Nom Chompsky

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    I think this is true. They almost called her NeverForget.

    This joke makes more sense if you know that The Blueprint was released on 9/11/2001.
     
  14. Dcc001

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    Joke or not, the fact that it can even be inferred speaks doom for that poor baby. I've said it before and I'll say it again: any potential name must pass the "Supreme Court Justice" test.

    Supreme Court Justice Blue Ivy Carter just isn't gonna happen. "Please welcome to the main stage, she can really climb that pole, Blue Ivy!" has more of a ring of truth to it.
     
  15. Kampf Trinker

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    I once met a kid named Bung ho. He looked like an asshole too.

    I've heard the last names Ass and Fagg (the person who was named Fagg had the first name Rod, so when written last name first it would read, Fagg, Rod).

    The director of my high school was named John Johnson. Clearly, his parents valued simplicity above all else.

    I took multiple classes with a girl named Kitty. Another girl was named Tithi and it was pronounced titty, but at least she had the excuse of a foreign language. If I had any of these names I would change them. You can only hear the same joke so many times before you want to stab yourself in the eye.

    For kids myself I always liked Dana for a girl, and Damien for a guy. Two reasons for Damien. First, I like the way it sounds. Secondly, my mother still tells me I was the most difficult to raise and I can only assume my son will be a hell spawn.
     
  16. AlmostGaunt

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    Hahahaahahaha. This just popped up on my facebook:
     

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  17. SuperHans

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    Dated a girl named Lorinda Lipski.