Oh Say Can You Seeeee! Weeklong 4th of July Drunk Thread '12

Am I the only one who thinks it's weird and pointless to see a movie just because there are attractive people in it? I honestly couldn't really care less whether some random actress shows her breasts in a movie or something. At best it's distracting and at worst it's boring, but if I want to watch porn, I'll just watch porn.

 

I am horribly sad to admit this but I had prior knowledge of what a bronie is. I know this because I saw my little brother at my families lake house a few months ago. He was wearing a My little Pony shirt, and rather proudly proclaimed himself a bronie. Fuck, if that kid graduated high school this year, bullying can't be nearly the epidemic it is made out to be.

 

I read a moderately funny print magazine that also has pictures of women in bikini's in it. People give me all kinds of shit about what a pervert I am for having a bikini girls magazine. I kind of assume that they're all retarded. I have the internet with a near infinite supply of hard core pornographic videos. Why would I pay money for pictures of partially dressed women?

Movie porn is much the same. Bound / 9&1/2 weeks / The Secretary / etc have scenes that are effectively pornographic and I enjoy them as basically porn. Plenty of good movies have sex scenes that are fine and sometimes actually add something to the story. But I don't understand why anyone would watch a mediocre hollywood movie for partial nudity. I certainly don't understand why anyone got obsessed with pausing the VHS tape to get a better glimpse of sharon stone's vagina.

 

This a thing.







I knew a chick into this crap. She was a disturbed little girl that tried shaking me down for drug money more than once.

 

I’ve just been googleing that “brony” shit, gotta say, I’m shocked at the level of retarded involved. Hipsters leave me bemused but this is just a whole new level of WTF. How does someone become so pathetic? I’m virtually never a straight up asshole to someone because of their hobby, hell a mate of mine plays the Warhammer board game. If anyone ever told me they are into this shit I’ll be calling them a straight up loser and tearing them down, this is just beyond worthless.

 

Amurricah, bitches!

I suspect some of y'all have done this:

 

Fried PB&J dumplings looked pretty good.

I just had Nutella for the first time about two weeks ago though, and I was really disappointed. It's just tastes like chocolate spread.

 

I'm going out to *Desperados tonight with an animal who has a pocket full of cash and intent on breaking me. If I die, it was nice knowing you. Speak highly of me. Bye. 

*Desperados is a club, which I typically despise, but Tommy Lee is DJing and my kid works there. Free everything? Ok. This I need to see. Doubt it's as good as free boat.

 

Um, I'm sorry, but I think I missed a step. How does chocolate spread not = anything above greatness? Honestly, I've avoided Nutella for the last 10+ years because I know that I would love it and friends/family would find me rocking in a corner while eating it by the spoonful.

 

playing with HackerRank's challenge to get the beta. It's kind of depressing that this the math problem on the front page is considered a challenge for hackers. The challenge is just repeating the process enough to get to the top.

The game rules are that you start with a number (X) and you can subtract a number between 1 and 5 from X each turn. Your opponent (the computer) subtracts X on their turn and so on. The person who reduces the number to zero is the winnar. The person who assigns a value to X gets to go first - which means they always win if they can do basic math. After talking to their live support people, it seems like the challenge is actually to write a script to play the game, since there's no way to devote enough time to playing the game to get near the leaderboard otherwise.

Spoiler

X = starting number
Y = your move
Z = computer move

X =Any number not divisible by 6
Y = X-any number that makes X divisble by 6, or 6-z

 

Well, I'm smitten. I'll be in a puddle on the floor for at least the next week if anyone needs me.

 

Just sent in my final edits on my first paper to be published in an academic journal. This is my favorite line:

I now have until July 13th to get a first draft on a second article in to another journal. ...Drinking will help, no?

 

This should go in the rant/rave thread but about a month ago a girl told me "I'm really quiet during sex. I don't moan that much, I don't say 'Oh god', and I never moan the guys names." THEN she went black. Fast forward to about 40 minutes ago, "Oh god....oh ggggoooddd....Parker....Park....errrrr....fuckkk!!!!!!!!!"

Thanks for playing.

 

I had a girl who had dated black guys almost exclusively before me, and said I was the first to ever give her a vaginal orgasm.

Unfortunately, she also said "Oh god....oh ggggoooddd....Parker....Park....errrrr....fuckkk!!!!!!!!!"

It was weird.

 

I feel old...I don't get it. Is it the gays? Drugs? Irony? I think I'm an open minded hippy mom, but if my kid got into this, I might have tell him/her to knock it off...go save the world or something, not this.

 

Really? Bottle service with our own server and security. It just Desperados. Not downtown. Champagne down and vodka to go. Oh Canada. I'm gonna die tonight.

 

This is more fucked than anything I've done in Vegas. Jesus.

 

I easily could have lived out the rest of my life without knowledge of this bronie thing. A whole new level of WTF indeed.

I hate when a holiday falls in the middle of the week. In instances such as this week, Thursday and Friday should be declared adjunct national holidays. If a politician put that on his/her platform, they'd get my vote. But then SCOTUS would probably declare it unconstitutional.

It was 25 years ago today, under the boardwalk, that I proposed to Mrs. LFL.

 

I was invited to go watch Magic Mike this weekend.
I...can't do it. I think the idea of male strippers is nowhere near erotic anyway, throw in MM and his little baby t-rex arms and all I can do is laugh. No thanks.


and 50 shades is a whole nother rant for me. Seriously, women need to get some healthier perspective on sex and relationships.

 

And.....I'm a bachelor for the next 30 days or so.

Time was I would have all sorts of depraved plans. Now I'm excited because I can fit in a day or two a week extra at the gym. How the mighty have fallen.