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Oh Say Can You Seeeee! Weeklong 4th of July Drunk Thread '12

Discussion in 'General Discussion' started by Blue Dog, Jun 28, 2012.

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  1. bewildered

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    Deeply satisfied pooper

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    I have red beans and sausage on the stove slow cooking. I cannot wait to tear into them. My stomach is going GRAAAGHHRWAAAHGGHH!!
     
    #321 bewildered, Jul 2, 2012
  2. CharlesJohnson

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    Look at the configuration. Did he ever have teeth on the upper row? Those bottom "teeth" fit perfectly in the gap, as if it was all planned long ago.

    He better close up shop, though, before a stiff breeze leaves him gumming mushy peas.

    I also truly believe this is what the historical Jesus looked like.

    Open that link.
     
    #322 CharlesJohnson, Jul 2, 2012
  3. bewildered

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    That dude's gums terrify me much more than his lack of teeth. What the hell is going on up there?
     
    #323 bewildered, Jul 2, 2012
  4. Juice

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    Just a friendly PSA on what happens when you dont wear your retainer.

    [​IMG]
     
    #324 Juice, Jul 2, 2012
  5. Crown Royal

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    I made effinshenanigan's "Effiinburgers" for guests last night, and now have MORE people pressuring me for the recipe which I refuse to give away (and probably never will now I combined them with Epicure Burger Seasoning). They're like the Flaming Moe around here: everybody wants them, and a false prophet (me) is taking credit for them.
     
    #325 Crown Royal, Jul 2, 2012
  6. bewildered

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    I'll be the first to admit that my retainer use it sporadic at best, but I sure as shit take good care of my teeth and gums. My teeth are immaculate with my twice daily brushing, flossing and mouth washing.

    I drink a ton of caffeinated drinks but it is amazing what the power of good toothpaste will do to your mashers.

    Smile y'all!
     
    #326 bewildered, Jul 2, 2012
  7. Frank

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    Going to Atlantic City for a bachelor party this weekend, one of the guys organizing the trip sent this e-mail:

     
    #327 Frank, Jul 2, 2012
  8. zyron

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    I would rather go to Foxwoods or Mohegan than drive the four hours to Atlantic City. Place is pretty depressing. Bums and crack heads all around and some of the casino's and hotels haven't been updated in decades.
     
    #328 zyron, Jul 2, 2012
  9. scotchcrotch

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    Anderson Cooper is gay? Is this a surprise and/or news?

    Good for him, though.
     
    #329 scotchcrotch, Jul 2, 2012
  10. dieformetal

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    FOUND IT! It's "Red Rockets Glare". Goddamnit, I need some actual adult conversation....
     
    #330 dieformetal, Jul 2, 2012
  11. Gravy

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    Really? CNN is reporting that he is straight.
     
    #331 Gravy, Jul 2, 2012
  12. Crown Royal

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    That's a good one. Listening to CNN for good, hard facts HA HA HA.

    Here is a recent ACTUAL CNN POLL that they paid people actual money to conduct:

    ...Oh. My. God.

    You see, sometimes you have to sit back and ponder the question "Do I live amongst the most retarded generation of sub-morons since fire was discovered?"

    I say this because of what I highlighted in bold, stating that a quarter of these fucking nerf brains would love to leave our planet to go live on a dusty, unforgiving and utterly uninhabitable death vortex 275,000 miles from anything they could possibly even give a shit about. And CNN pay HUGE fucking money for these polls.

    Just give up, CNN. Show a blank fucking screen or something that makes Anderson Cooper tear up, because you have officially announced that you do not give a FUCK about news.
     
    #332 Crown Royal, Jul 2, 2012
  13. Gravy

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    You just described western Kansas.

    Hell, I'd do it just to use spaceman pick up lines once I got back.

    Super Attractive Female: Weren't you scared to be up there?
    Gravy: Sure, I was scared. But girl *dramatic pause while I look deeply in her eyes and Michael Bay does one of his patented swing the camera around shots* you were my gravity.
     
    #333 Gravy, Jul 2, 2012
  14. Crown Royal

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    They weren't asking if you would visit the moon. They were asking if you would LIVE on it. As in "Not Ever Come Back".

    And use the line "You were in Gravy's gravity and it was gravy so let's grind."
     
    #334 Crown Royal, Jul 2, 2012
  15. Gravy

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    I couldn't grind with a girl who still found me attractive after I used the third person to talk about myself. I'd want to have a heart-to-heart with her about her standards and how to stop making bad choices.
     
    #335 Gravy, Jul 2, 2012
  16. Crown Royal

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    Crown Royal does not approve of you having high standards and being a dude at the same time. Crown Royal believes that to be scientifically impossible.

    Actually, if your ORIGINAL pick-up line worked you'd probably want to just ditch her with the bill after dinner is over.
     
    #336 Crown Royal, Jul 2, 2012
  17. Gravy

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    If I went to the moon to save humanity, or to just carve out a giant face to settle debate once and for all, you can be sure I would expect to never pay for dinner again in my life.
     
    #337 Gravy, Jul 2, 2012
  18. Crown Royal

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    I would love that authority.

    "Is this a bill? You expect ME to pay YOU for MY business? I WENT TO THE GODDAMN MOON. MOTHERFUCKER. Now comp me a penthouse hotel suite, three questionable hookers and a bucket of poutine. Unless, of course, you're currently tending to OTHER people who have been to the moon." *clap clap* "To work, Jeeves!"
     
    #338 Crown Royal, Jul 2, 2012
  19. PIMPTRESS

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    This song makes my son so happy I listen to it with him, but my ears are bleeding...
     
    #339 PIMPTRESS, Jul 2, 2012
    Last edited by a moderator: Mar 27, 2015
  20. Angel_1756

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    The Big Four-Oh

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    Jesus Christ, Pimptress, that's terrifying. It's like Barney the Dinosaur on acid.
     
    #340 Angel_1756, Jul 2, 2012
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