Oh Say Can You Seeeee! Weeklong 4th of July Drunk Thread '12

Hey, they're just being culturally aware.

My stepmother is Vietnamese, and while there are some cultural differences (why does she think that the longer the distance between her and the person she is talking to on the phone, the louder she needs to talk?), the food she cooks is incredible.

Mystery meat or not, Asian food is awesome. And the condiments... Jesus. Amazing.


Speaking of uniting American and Asian cultures, here's an awesome cover, starring an Asian dude rocking out to good ol' Jimi. He's got some pretty good guitar skillz.

 

I was just informed the main course of the BBQ is...drum roll please....

Tongue.

The little yellow people are dancing around, clapping their hands, and ching chonging their little heathen lungs out. Me, not so much.

 

Quit being such a pussy, tongue has a lot of nutrients and if prepared well can taste quite good. The Asians eat like fucking kings.

 

Beef tongue is fantastic when cooked in a smoker, slice it thin across the grain and its better than brisket.

The old lady's dogs are such pussies, they are attempting to hide under my recliner because of some muffled fireworks.

 

Tongue is delicious if you can get over what it is. Best I've had is beef tongue tacos at a Mexican taco place in south Minneapolis (Taco Taxi).

Anything barbecued is good too. I grilled up some brats and cooked a ham steak in a foil boat with a maple glaze on the grill tonight. Delicious.

 

Not only did I have a perfect view of the big show, but I was able to see all of the fireworks in almost the entire city from my roof. It was wonderful. I tend to have great Fourth of Julys. Today was no exception.

 

I went to school with a bunch of Chinese kids. Well, you know, not actually Chinese, they were born in Canada, but as children their only exposure to Western culture was through piano sheet music, so. Fuckers would yell into their phones, slurp soup, and chew with their mouths open without the slightest hint of self-awareness.

One of my goals in life has been to find a nice Vietnamese girl and have her mother dote over me and make me delicious pho. I once roped a Vietnamese friend into making me pho, but otherwise no dice.

 

That's so south Texas.

"Some day I hope to walk along heaven's street, and I'll still be looking for my taco meat".

 

Braised tongue tacos is possibly the best Mexican dish I've ever had. Tongue, when done right, is super tender and tastes like intense beef.

There's a joint down here that might be the best restaurant in town. Nothing on the menu is over $9. The guy's pho, his broth is simmered for up to 24 hours. Just the smell coming off that bowl is insane. The flavor is unlike anything I've ever had. They also like to throw beef tendon and tripe in there.

Incidentally, their bbq pork would make Jesus cry.

Plus the waitress, his daughter I think, is unbelievably hot.

 

I hung around with a few Vietnamese kids as well and there is nothing like making it to their house for dinner. It's really traditional and as you said the pho is just great.
I noticed that they always have small bowls of the weirdest food items on their kitchen tables at all times. If I recall, at my one buddies there is always some plain noodles, some spices, some kind of vegetables which looks like a root of some sort and the random deviled eggs.

Their rooms are always lighter in color ( light blues, pinks and yellows) and the decorations and ornaments around the house are pretty cool.
I dig it. The tongue ehh..not so much. I've tried it once before and wasn't that big of a fan, but from the looks of it and your guys posts maybe i'll have to give it another run.

 

Word. My stepmother is a very, er, traditional asian. She told me over dinner once that, if I were to get an Asian girl, I was to watch out for: Indian girls. They stink, and their food makes you stink. Chinese girls. They eat dirty food, and Chinese people are assholes. Indonesian Girls. They are dirty muslims and.. You get the point.

Apparently, only Cambodian and Vietnamese women were anything to have. Fancy that.

Having said that, if I were to find a Vietnamese woman who could cook up a great bowl of pho, I would propose on the spot. There are few things in life that can beat that otherworldly bowl of goodness that is a bowl of pho bo. Add some fresh coriander and spring onions, chillies and a large 333 beer and you're golden. And some fresh beef tongue.

 

My ex's mother told her not to date white boys in my particular line of work.

That's the problem with them Asian girls. On the plus side, they're obedient... but on the downside, they're obedient. Gotta square that circle some how.

 

I think my cat is a communist because he has turned down the little cheeseburger I made him as a treat to celebrate Amurrica.

 

Wait, I mean socialist. That's the modern thing,right?

Or terrorist?

My cat's a terrorist.

 

You cook for your cat?

 

My cat cannot haz cheeseburger.

(I got drunk accidentally.)

 

Worth repeating, for some reason.

Here is some Jimmy Swaggart:

 

I had an awkward amount of ground beef left that wasn't big enough to make even one meatball so I made a little cheeseburger for him as a treat. It's a holiday.

 

Audrey, put the cat and the cheese burger down, and step away. You're in a safe place. We all love you and want you to get better. We don't want you to become a crazy cat lady, and if you're not willing to let us help you now, then you'll never get better.

In unrelated news, I am going to attempt to charm my way into this woman's vagina using little more than my wit, guile, cunning, and microwaved kraft dinner. I mean I'm actually making real food as a backup (leftovers!), but I'm just seeing how far it'd go for shits and giggles.

You do funny things once you stop caring if you actually get laid.

 

BBQ'd tongue is chewy. Not too bad tasting, especially when dipped in sauce that will burn your lips.

A couple quotes from my brother in law:

While preparing the tongue to be cooked, he was seasoning it and after each piece would say "Now it happy."

After calling my step brother (Also from Thailand) and being unable to reach him: "Maybe him make a baby."