Whatever you're doing right now, stop. The Proffesional Easily, one of the best movies ever made. Gary Oldman gives one of the greatest performances of all time.
American Pimp (1999) Quite possibly the craziest fucking movie I've ever seen. Directed by the Hughes brothers (Menace II Society, Dead Presidents, From Hell), it's a 90 minute documentary primarily featuring black pimps speaking in Ebonics, praising the "pimping lifestyle". While many of these curse-filled, insane interviews are hysterically funny, and indeed, are the main attraction of the movie, there is also a simultaneous desire to see this human garbage either dead or in jail. This is especially strong when they talk about beating their women and taking all their money. And while the documentary doesn't get into the nitty gritty of the business, it is exceptionally directed, well-paced, and consistently funny with one crazy sound bite after another. And if you pay attention, the interviews with the women and pimps tells you all you need to know; these are incredibly stupid, desperate, lazy women being controlled by only slightly less stupid, desperate, and lazy men. They mention near the end that only 15% of prostitution is of the street, illegal variety that these guys control, (the true bottom of the barrel) and one of the "stars" of the work is incarcerated as the documentary is being made. 70/100 on my Criticker account, and in my top 20 percent for the insane hilarity of it all.
To go along with KIMaster's above review: The Mack This movie was hackneyed, to say the least. Pure blaxploitation, and I mean that in a negative way. I liked Foxy Brown, Shaft, Dolemite, etc, but I guess this movie was built up too much for me before I saw it, and I was expecting more. Richard Pryor is in the starring credits, but he is only on screen for about 10 minutes of the whole picture! The funniest part of the movie was when one of the corrupt racist cops who was trying to bust the protagonist by any means necesarry was drunk off his ass, holed up in a cheap motel room with a plus-sized black prostitute, and he was fondling her floppy tits and telling her how he "can't trust skinny people. You can trust an elephant, but you can't trust a giraffe." I just could not sympathize with the lead character because he was a street pimp; I've got nothing against prostitution, but taking ALL of your employees' money and still berating them/beating them is just despicable. Seriously, I have more sympathy for a drug pusher than a pimp. At least the dope fiends have a choice to not buy the drugs. I've got to watch American Pimp after seeing this.
I'm sure most people here have seen it, but I finally checked out; Ed Wood (1994), 80/100 Very funny throughout, but with enough realism and biographical fact to keep it from growing stale and one-dimensional. It genuinely makes the people of Ed Wood's small-time world come alive thanks to its slew of great acting performances. It's also amazing how good of a director Tim Burton was from 1985-1995, compared to how mediocre he has been in the last 15. Believe the hype.
Street Fighter: The Legend of Chun Li Forget the reviews of this movie. I recommend you watch this movie completely baked to see the most unintentionally hilarious performance on film ever. The thespian responsible for this performance is none other than Chris Klein. Klein goes through the movie acting like a poor man's Keanu Reeves, but only if Reeves were a porn star without any acting lessons. It is fucking hysterical. See for yourself:
As my black friend had to explain to me after I watched Pimps Up Ho's Down. These hookers aren't stable minded, if they were left up to their own devices they'd suck dick only when they needed some crack, and would spiral out quick. Keeping all their money and regulating how much you give them keeps the pimp with a constant flow of money. He in turn can reward the best working girls with extravagant gifts. Not to mention he feeds and shelters these would be crackwhores. I was surprised too when I heard they keep 100% in the pimp game.
Terminator Salvation: I seriously cannot understand all of the hate this movie got. Yeah it wasn't as good as the original, who fucking cares? I thought it was a pretty solid movie. Good action scenes, a decent story that you can wrap your head around as long as you have rudimentary Terminator knowledge, and Moon Bloodgood. If you haven't seen it yet, it is at least worth a rent. I bought it, and I'm not regretting it.
FUBAR To be filed in: "Brilliant Canadian comedy Americans missed out on". Much like Trailer Park Boys and Hard Core Logo, Canada is the home of the great renegade mockumentary. This one has laughs at machine-gun pace, a brilliantly realistic and utterly hilarious film about a Calgary film crew following around two mullet-wearing dumbasses, Dean and Terry. They shotgun beers, swear constantly, and act like utter psychotic baboons. Because it's a guerilla film, these guys get tits-to-the-wind wasted on camera for real and commit some serious vandalism at times. There are some fictional plot devices (including an unecessary one near the end) but mostly it's in the same vein as Borat, but funnier. Do not miss this, it's just too good. 8.5/10 I mean, just LISTEN to this fucking guy....
Blacula (1972) Rewatch. Competently made blaxploitation horror film with a few original wrinkles. Its main weakness is how boring and slow it frequently is, especially the unnecessary song numbers. The best part is William Marshall, a handsome 6' 5" classically trained Shakespearen actor, with a deep, rich bass voice...playing the part of "Blacula" in a cheesy blaxploitation film. Which ended up being the most memorable role of his career, despite him being one of the greatest Othellos in the history of modern theater. Definitely watchable. 48/100
Foxy Brown Pam Grier is still all kinds of sexy. This is a must see for anyone talking about blaxploitation movies. Drugs and boobies. Pam Grier boobies. And, for the purists: The soundtrack is by the mighty Curtis Mayfield. And if you have to ask, shut yo mouth. “the aim of his role was to move a lot of blow” And... Isaac Hayes did a soundtrack too.
Days of Wine & Roses The first time I saw this movie, I was two days out of the psych hospital after detoxing from booze and other assorted substances. I made it about halfway through the movie as it just got too painful to watch in my state of mind at the time. Well, TCM ran it last night and I watched it in its entirety. It's the story of an alcoholic (Jack Lemmon) who drags his wife (Lee Remick) into the disease. Awesome and very accurate film about alcoholism. Lemmon was nominated for Best Actor, but lost to Gregory Peck's portrayal of Atticus Finch in "To Kill A Mockingbird" that year. Well worth the 2 hours.
Shadow of the Vampire (2001) Fictional retelling of the making of the classic 1922 silent horror film "Nosferatu", except in this case, Max Schreck, playing Count Orlock, is a real vampire. It's a novel idea, and features some of the best ensemble acting I've seen from the 2000s. John Malkovich does an amazing job as director Friedrich William Murnau, and Cary Elwes as the cameraman and Eddie Izzard as the film's protagonist are also great. Still, the unquestioned star is Willem Dafoe playing the vampire, a hideous, creepy, slightly insane monster reduced to eating rats in his old age. Every scene with him is fun and memorable. However, the film has some major problems, especially its agonizingly slow place and lack of action. This is most prominently felt in the middle 30 minutes of the film, which also seem to have editing and continuity problems. Also, the 6 minute, mostly static cast introduction is a complete and utter waste. Still, it's worth sitting through; the movie has one of the best endings I've seen in a long time. 71/100
While I realize this isn't completely on subject I just felt it necessary after viewing the video below to show the hilarious descent of Chris Klein. Part II: Chris Klein coked up while auditioning for Mamma Mia. It's official, Chris Klein has taken the place of Corey Haim.
Variety is the spice of life... Ruggles of Red Gap (1935!) I'm usually suspicious towards ancient pictures, as they tend to be criminally overrated by film "connoisseurs" (artfags). Some of the cherished "classics" flat-out suck. So I was very pleasantly surprised by this picture, which is still highly enjoyable today. It's about a British butler whose drunken Lord gambles him away to an American couple living in the West. Hilarity ensues. Reasons why the film succeeds are its sharp, well-written dialogue (a rarity in newer films) and extremely fast pace. What is especially impressive is the acting from everyone involved, especially Charles Laughton as the titular Mr. Ruggles. This must have been pretty awesome for its time. 76/100
...speaking of Charles Laughton and the Silver Screen... The Night Of The Hunter (1955) This is Laughton's ONLY turn behind the camera, and he cranked out one of the greatest thrillers ever devised, an incredibly creepy stroll through a Norman Rockwell American South during the depression. Robert Mitchum gives his most memorable performance as Powell, a Brimstone preacher with the famous tattoos "LOVE" and "HATE" on his knuckles. He comes to terrorize a young brother and sister to find a hidden cache of loot his father stashed. Even dated, this movie will get under your skin. It is unsettling and dream-like, a film style invented by Laughton and later perfected by Roman Polanski in Repulsion. It has some startling scenes: The kid's shadowy and otherworldly rafting down a river, Shelley Winter's corpse in the water, or Mitchum's terrifying chase of the children up the basement stairs to name a few. There is no other film like it, impossible to classify and one of the very best American movies ever made. 9.5/10
I must be one of the few people on this forum who hadn't watched this yet; The Prestige (2006)- A story about two dueling stage magicians in 19th century Victorian England. Their professional rivalry knows no bounds, consuming each of their lives. The movie has certain weaknesses, such as a few corny monologues near the end, and Christian Bale greatly outshining Hugh Jackman among the two leads. But overall, it is one of the most exciting and well-balanced films I have ever seen; there are both very funny moments, and deliciously horrific ones. Amazing film; probably among the 100 best I have ever seen. 83/100
Lucky Number Slevin (2006) Wow. I put this on my netflix list over a year ago, completely forgot about it, and watched it on a whim last night. It is fantastic. Great plot, Josh Hartnett is surprisingly strong, and the direction and cinematography is very good. The real crown, however, is the acting talents of Sir Ben Kingsley and Morgan Freeman, who share a scene near the end that characterizes how good these guys are. 85/100
I have a new game, kind of like Six Degrees of Kevin Bacon. Take a movie with a predominantly British cast, and give it points based on how many actors in it have also been in Harry Potter. Was watching Sense and Sensibility yesterday, and it would get at least 4 points. Sweeney Todd has at least 3. Seriously, though, it's funny how the same British actors are always showing up together in these ensemble casts. It's almost like an inbred hillbilly community, and the Harry Potter movies are the family reunion.
Four Rooms (1995) Four different short movies about a lone bellhop looking after a hotel on New Year's Eve, shot by four different directors. (Quentin Tarantino, Robert Rodriguez, Allison Anders, Alexandre Rockwell) The first two were average to mediocre; a few good moments, but frequently boring, making me wonder what the point was. The third, "The Misbehaviors" directed by Rodriguez, was excellent, and has one of the single funniest scenes I've ever seen in a movie, as well as one of the best punchlines. Unfortunately, the last one, by Tarantino, was so obnoxiously stupid and annoying, with such utterly bullshit dialogue, that it was pure torture to sit through. Worst of all, damn near NOTHING happened until the very end, and even that was predictable from a mile away. Awful, and left me with a very bad taste in my mouth. My recommendation would be to just watch Rodriguez's "The Misbehaviors", the clear highlight of the movie. 39/100