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Olympics? Kind of....

Discussion in 'General Discussion' started by downndirty, Aug 8, 2012.

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  1. Danger Boy

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    When I was 16 I fucked my girlfriend on my snowmobile. It was about 30 degrees outside.
     
    #21 Danger Boy, Aug 16, 2012
  2. Parker

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    I haven't done too much compared to others. Got head in the biggest Library in Chicago, in a conference room with glass doors. Fucked in both Macy's dressing rooms during holiday season, had sex in a medical museum, ate a girl out in a public park and movie theatre, fucked in her parents bed, kitchen, bathroom, hot tub, and both their cars. I think that's all vanilla shit. Oh and I fucked in my best friends bathroom during his NYE party before midnight.

    I can't even be a braggart here.
     
    #22 Parker, Aug 16, 2012
  3. Juice

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    Had sex in a funeral home. Consider yourselves one-upped.
     
    #23 Juice, Aug 16, 2012
  4. fertuska

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    Focus: In an igloo we built in his parents' yard. It was pretty spacious and reasonably warm inside, even though it was -15 fahrenheit outside.
    (Igloos are awesome. I always wanted to build one ever since I was a little kid, but never had enough snow where I'm from. I was so excited about the igloo I insisted we sleep there. Everyone was laughing at me, I was like a little kid at Christmas.)
     
    #24 fertuska, Aug 17, 2012
  5. rei

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    I've gotten laid in the graveyard outsdie a small church on the edge of my university's campus.
     
    #25 rei, Aug 17, 2012
  6. lust4life

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    Necrophilia isn't Olympic, it's psychopathic.
     
    #26 lust4life, Aug 17, 2012
  7. The Village Idiot

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    Well, doesn't that really depend on the position? I think the East German judge gave him a 5 1/2.

    Anyway, I've pretty much had sex everywhere I could. By 'Everywhere I could' I mean 'alone, in the shower, where I couldn't see the tears of desperation and sadness.'

    DO I WIN A METAL?
     
    #27 The Village Idiot, Aug 17, 2012
  8. lust4life

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    If he was able to make her cum, THAT would be Olympic.

    And if one has to use Viagra, is that considered doping?
     
    #28 lust4life, Aug 17, 2012
  9. JWags

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    No, but we will give you an honorary MEDAL, huzzah!
     
    #29 JWags, Aug 17, 2012
  10. taste_my_rainbow

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    I went for the pitcher's mound.
     
    #30 taste_my_rainbow, Aug 17, 2012
  11. Misanthropic

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    Hey look . .there's a focus, and it says nothing about bragging. Well, what do you know.


    For the TiB crowd, some appropriate awards would be:

    The Golden Hand Award - Most days without sexual stimulation of any kind, including by oneself
    The Crusty Hanes Award - Largest collection of stiff socks stashed under a bed
    The Secret Sticky folder Award - Most GB of porn stashed away on the family computer without discovery
    The Creeping Fungus award - The most unexplainable rashes to appear and disappear without treatment.
     
    #31 Misanthropic, Aug 17, 2012
  12. Frank

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    I think this has been brought up before, but I don't remember, what's the deal with jerking off into a sock? Why would you do that instead of a little cleanup with tissues? Less chance of getting caught and probably more sanitary.
     
    #32 Frank, Aug 17, 2012
  13. Kubla Kahn

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    Well when you have a downstairs trash can filled to the brim with tissues logic will win out when caught. Paper towels were the way to go anyway as they don't disintegrate during use. God help you Evel Kneivel mother fuckers who do the spray and pray method and wipe up after.
     
    #33 Kubla Kahn, Aug 17, 2012
  14. Nicole

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    It's the greener choice: less paper waste, and some are able to reduce their energy consumption (associated with washing machine use) even further by increasing the turnover usage of the sock between washing machine loads. The concept is sometimes called the Smegma Footprint.
     
    #34 Nicole, Aug 17, 2012
  15. Frank

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    Pro-tip: Tissues can be flushed down the toilet.
     
    #35 Frank, Aug 17, 2012
  16. lust4life

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    Isn't that the "Master of One's Domain" Prize?

    [​IMG]
     
    #36 lust4life, Aug 17, 2012
  17. RCGT

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    I hope you guys are betting on me for this one. Easy money.
     
    #37 RCGT, Aug 17, 2012
  18. Noland

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    I was going to put my money on Durbanite, but if you're worse off than that guy then congratulations.
     
    #38 Noland, Aug 17, 2012
  19. madamsquirrel

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    I read his post then scrolled back up to see if it was Durbanite.
     
    #39 madamsquirrel, Aug 17, 2012
  20. RCGT

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    I'm guessing Durbanite jerks it like three times a day. Sorry bro.
     
    #40 RCGT, Aug 17, 2012
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