SOMEONE NEEDS TO MAKE ME A GIF OF JACK DONOGHY EATING CORN IMMEDIATELY. I KNOW ONE OF YOU CAN DO THIS. I'LL MAKE IT WORTH YOUR WHILE.
<a class="postlink" href="http://25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_meaeg5X03A1qfve95o1_500.gif" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false;">http://25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_meaeg ... o1_500.gif</a> edit: not my work, I just used google.
I love the internet for making that happen so quickly and for TiB because two people directed it to me and one person offered to make it. Just gonna set that to full screen. And nowwwww time to masturbate.
I told my wife my tablet was 7 inches. I live in great fear that she may actually see my penis, and further, decide to measure it and find out there may have been some fraud.
Oh, yeah! That's totally me! I wish I still had that cool mullet, though. Now there's an app. It's a animated penis with a ruler printed on it. Except, it's intentionally not calibrated correctly. You just whip out your junk, slap that mother on the screen for comparison, and say, "Awww, yeah, baby. Check it out. Ten inches!" What?
What's the weirdest thing you people have jacked off to? Because this might take the cake. I've waxed the carrot to some weird shit, but never have I been turned on by someone blowing corn on NBC. Let alone Tracy Morgan being involved.
What's the weirdest thing you people have jacked off to? And admitted it. Because, I have a feeling audreym is going to be getting some interesting PM videos / photos . . . in the next few days.
A few: -The show Intervention when I was home sick one day. There was a hot girl addicted to meth. -In my younger days, a mammogram/women's health pamphlet. I'm not proud.
Publisher's Clearing House ad had a Playboy cover thumbnail. Anna Nicole issue from like 1993. The thumbnail. Just the tiny thumbnail of the cover. Of even smaller cleavage. Goddammit. Actually, these may not be weird, so much as pathetic. But do you know how difficult it was to find fap material in 1993? You kids have no fucking idea.
1993? CJ, don't even fucking start. Try finding spank material in 1987. My older brother had a Sports Illustrated swimsuit edition calendar. That got a huge amount of use. Pathetic? Yes.
Not Sears catalog, but those early Victoria's Secret catalogs made a beeline from the mailbox to my room.
Many years ago... a breast cancer self-exam instructional clip on some health TV channel. This was back in 2003 or something, before I discovered the full extent of the internet.
I used to print out pictures, no not the PRON, more like bikini shots of celebrities, and tape them to the inside of the shower so I could twerk it while showering cause when locking the door, it was more or less the safest place to do it. And then take them down, fold them up, and hide them back in a book or magazine. It was as ridiculous as it sounds. See, I'm the opposite. When it comes to musical creativity, YouTube continues to impress me. Those "Piano Guys", kind of cheesy, but tremendously talented and creative. The 5 or 6 people playing Somebody that I Used to Know on one guitar, really cool. There are tons of other people looping crazy shit with multiple cameras producing really cool stuff. And given the new platforms and monetization of the internet, they don't even need to get signed to profit from it, so the incentive is even greater and creativity is exploding. Its pretty cool.
When Kazaa came around it was like a revelation. When that first download finished, a heavenly light shone and a chorus of angels sang. Nothing will ever be so sweet again. Not even my first born. Fuck you kid, did you know the only way to get porn in 2000 was to BUY IT? Yeah. If I had to choose between world peace and porn never being available to me back then, I'd let the world burn. Christ. Remember Prodigy? Take 15 minutes to load a single bikini photo. Line by line, torturous. By the time her head was rendered I was done and making a sandwich.