Wow. This is pretty fucked up. http://www.newsday.com/sports/footb...m-long-island-kills-girlfriend-self-1.4281729
The fucked up thing is that they'll still play. If someone shoots themselves in front of their boss, why not give the office a day off? Timely moment, since my co-worker is pregnant and will probably quit her job. I believe I may dropped such gems as, "I'd rather get cancer than children, because you can get rid of cancer." and "The only thing my children have ruined is a warm sock." It's 7 a.m., UGA and Bama are playing for the right to appear in the national title game, I'm drinking hot chocolate and preparing to wrap Christmas presents to place under my stupidly tiny tree. The key for Christmas happiness is to do the work part of it early. It's December 2nd, and I have to shop for exactly no one anymore. I'll pick up some coffee mugs and hot cocoa for work associates, and something delicious for my neighbor, and I'm done. I'm waiting for snow, before I get giddy and start watching the Christmas cartoons.
Not the only one. If we're making children's television tolerable by picking which character we'd like to bang, here are my picks: -The mom and the (eldest) daughter from Good Luck Charlie. - Jessie from Jessie - Carly's older brother from iCarly - Both girls from Shake It Up - Sarah and Sarah's evil ex-bf who was vanished to some supernatural hell from My Babysitter's a Vampire - the Dad from Wizards of Waverly Place (who, incidentally, looks exactly like Gravy) -Phineas AND Ferb -Hatefuck everyone from the Suite Life of Zack and Cody until they all die from exhaustion I have no help for Spongebob. I kinda dig Sandy, but I recognize that this is my brain turning to mush after so much goddamn kids programming. EDIT: I would also get some sort of sexual release from murdering the fat chick on Austin & Ally. Oh, you fucked everyone's life up...again? You got fired for being a lazy piece of shit...again? You mean to tell me that you lied, stole, cheated, and were an overall selfish twat to your "best friends"...again? Yeah, let me just insert a laugh track and LOL at how much of a horrible human being you are.
I really can't believe I just started googling those shows to figure out how attractive those people are. Low point. I will give you the rapidly receding hairline.
If you're hungry, you eat. If you're tired, you sleep. So why in the world would this subnormal human being not go to the bathroom when he needs to poop. Nope just sit there and let fecal matter run down your leg. That is so what I wanted to clean up just then. Thank god bathing little boys is about a five minute process.
Isn't your kid a ginger? I think that explains it right there. He did it on purpose because later tonight he's going to tiptoe into your room, watch you sleep for a bit, then slit your throat while laughing. Then suck your escaping soul from your lips so it can't find peace in the afterlife.
They're not gingers. They're Aryan. Had they been gingers I would have had them put down for the good of humanity. Only hot female gingers may live.
I want a series of photos documenting your facial expressions when you picked your kid up as liquid shite dribbled down his leg onto your floor. The exact moment of "OH HELL NAW" Big Willie Style will win AFP's photo of the year.
I'm mid 30's and still surprised when people say they're planning to have kids. I just think "Why the fuck would you want to place such a burden upon yourself?" I have 4 nieces and a nephew, the GF has a 10 & 15 y/o and I'm just constantly amazed people want kids after dealing with them.
Well, here's a placenta; with a baby in it......and some music. Girl next door is still trying to throw him out. She told me last night he'll by gone next weekend.
Does it make me badass if I just broke a crochet hook? I mean, I must be crocheting like a boss if the mere act of making baby leg warmers is enough to break a hook. Right?