Well I think the point of the tent is that you can masturbate in public. Having said that, transparent fabric may not have been the best choice. The camo tank top was probably just an extra stealth precaution. Dude isn't taking any risks. Might be overkill for the type of liquid he's transporting though...
Am I the only one of you weirdos that is completely disgusted by that photo? The dude is wearing jean shorts above the knees. If that doesn't warrant you getting punched directly in the face, what does? And anybody who thinks that this thing is necessary to jack off in public has NEVER encountered a homeless man on a bench next to a crowded bus stop. And one more thing: why do you NEED to jerk off in public in the first place? Huh, ya ASSHOLE? You see, I don't need one of these things, because I was blessed with this wonderful and apparently extremely rare trait known as "will power" which prevents me from pulling out my flesh crank where other people are and beating it like a coked-up mandrill on a snare drum.
I only wear Daisy Duke cuts. If you're going to be sexy, women need to see the balls. I'm not talking about average testicles, either. I'm talking about a sack that you see a cartoon robber running from the cops with.
What's funny is that I'm not the only one more concerned with his outfit than his exhibitionism. He's dressed like a hipster sailor homosexual. Nothing disgusts me more than this Evil Moby looking mother fucker that runs around town in jean shorts with frayed cuffs. Bald, glasses, looks like Moby. Evil Moby. Invariably wears an ill-fitting super v-neck which displays a pasty, concave chest, and those goddamn scumbag shorts. They creep me out. Also has a scraggily f'n beard teeming with wood lice. Whenever I see him I hope someone beats him to death using another pseudo-homeless hipster's bifurcated torso. I don't understand these people. I don't want to understand these people. They all look so goddamn desperate to be different they end up looking like an army of unwashed carnies.
The funny thing to me is that the tent is even hipsterized. I bet if you reverse google image searched it you would be led back to some NYU art student's page with an invective screed about the treatment of native Americans and how the expression "pitching a tent" symbolizes the rape of Native American women in 1873.
What's that thing called, the TeePeenis? Sold by Nava 'Hos? I know, puns are the lowest form of humor. Sioux me.
I saved it as "peepee teepee." Then I thought the word "teepee" looked weird, so I googled it to see if I spelled it wrong or something, and I'll be damned if "peepee teepee" wasn't one of the top results. That link, however, was safe for work. http://www.bebabean.com/pee-pee-teepee/ "When you want to give the perfect baby shower gift" What. the. fuck. That's weird, right? Or is this a standard piece of baby equipment that I was just completely unaware of?
Close. The Pee-Pee Teepee. And for some reason, you can see through it. And people who dress like that must look in the mirror and just think "Why hasn't somone just simply ended my sad and empty life?"
Not weird at all. Little known fact that baby boys will pee ALL OVER the place once cold air hits their junk. You're just supposed to put it over the baby's crotch so he doesn't pee all over you when you're changing his diaper. This is another time I am glad to have a girl, although she did pee all over us once when she was really small. Since she's gotten bigger she hasn't had that particular issue.
I've been told that as a few-hour old newborn, when my dad came in to see his cherished firstborn, I happily giggled and pissed all over his face. In retrospect, it was a prescient preemptive strike. And as has been discussed in the previous pages, once boys get older they tend to get worse things than piss all over everything, including the neighbor's daughter.
Playing truth or dare when we were little kids my brother dared himself to piss on a deaf kid that was at the party, some second cousin of a cousin of ours or some shit. Walked him to the kid, flopped out his junk and let fly then wondered why all of a sudden we were all in the car and leaving.
You know what's more disturbing than walking in on your roommate cranking it? Knocking at the door, being told to come in, and seeing your roommate watching Redtube porn on his HDTV, seemingly for the entertainment value. Just watching. Shamelessly watching. He couldn't understand why I was put off by this and claimed there was "acting", in addition to the T&A. Can anyone explain this? Is this like watching game film, improving your weaknesses and furthering your strengths? A peer review for creativity sake? I would've been less mindfucked if he had just been beating off. Also, we've seemed to overlook Audrey Monroe's announcement of her new living situation with Dubya Tee Eff. That's a TiB first, I believe.
I think it would have been way more weird had he invited you in while beating off. Maybe he's got a thing for the aesthetic value of porn the same way some folks do for bad horror movies or sophomoric comedies, either of which may come to describe Audrey & Dub's living situation.
It sounds like it might be a relatively normal and stable roommate situation. That's great for them, but, as far as entertainment value for me goes, it's useless.
You think one guy is weird? Imagine walking into a small room with half a dozen guys silently watching youporn clips together. My roommate back in freshman year used to hook his laptop up to our flatscreen TV in the dorm room and invite his buddies over to all watch porn together after class. Just watching, no talking. He was a fucking weird guy.