Sharing porn with a co-worker is one thing. Walking into my room to see half a dozen guys crowded around the futon creepily watching porn together? Different ball game.
This whole waking up at 4:30 am thing is bullshit. You sit around all morning watching DVDs and playing video games and it's only 10:30. What the fuck am I going to do with the rest of my day?
Eh, the only person I'd be roommates with on this board is Roxanne. I can't be roommates with people. As extroverted as I am, I need a day or two of not talking to anyone like every two weeks. With roommates you can't do that. I just hate having people move and touch my stuff, I'm ridiculously clean and organized due to my mom being two ticks from being on hoarders. Then again...if he let me drive the beamer out on dates. And his wife walked around looking like she does, I think I could work it out. I mean, he'd be paying all the rent, the entertainment room would be top notch and I'd probably have HBO. Holy fuck I could talk myself into this...
See, I imagine an 80's sitcom. Ballsack commits a hate crime with his BMW and is forced by the court to move in with Parker who is some kind of inspirational speaker/motivator. Slowly we see Balls reveal himself to be a misguided young man at odds with himself and his desire to bang 3rd world prostitutes without a condom. It'll be the Odd Couple but with even more race jokes and Parker ends each episode by calling Balls a "Jive Turkey." Then everything gets thrown on it's head when Ballsack's half white, half Dominican, half Maori daughter moves in and Parker falls in love with her. Parker also has a grandfather in the KKK for some reason who provides the comic relief.
Female Porn stars have higher self-esteem than other women: study I love nothing more than when stuff like this comes out.
Let's face it... not all women in porn are vapid whores with Daddy issues. Some are just liberated and privileged enough to fuck for money and have the bodies to do it. The highest paid porn stars in the game call the shots about who they fuck, how they fuck and how much they get paid to do the fucking.
As for casting: Parker is played by Mystery: Sack is played by Jeff Foxworthy: And KIMaster could be an ornery neighbor with an affinity for the Orient, played by the V-Tech shooter:
Pretty sure now TV show would allow Mystery to wear blackface. THAT and have never in my life used anything from that book or show.
I had no idea this was OK to do again. Guess it's time to grab some shoe polish and hit up hollywood.
All the face paint in the world aint giving you rhythm. Nor will it make your voice go all high when your delivering punch lines. I would focus on being true to your lilly white self. Entertainment still needs people to deliver straight lines, and play morons opposite of their hot wives and mouthy children.
I have one, and I have the next week off. Nowhere to travel to. Whatever shall I do. Except maybe go to Montreal.