And therein lies the rub. In my experiences, most men want a girl who knows her way around his penis but don't want one who knows her way around every penis. Case-in-point, take my friend M who has slept with pretty much everyone in the tri-state area. I'd never consider her a whore because her motivation is just a really strong love of sex. I tend to agree with Noland's posts (big surprise) on this thread that motivation is key. My friend can easily detach herself from emotion and the physical act and therefore has no issue banging her way down the I-95 corridor. She has a ton of guy friends and lots of people really like her but she has serious trouble finding someone long term. I've actually asked some of our friends, "well, why won't you date her if you like her so much?" and the reply is that they don't really want to be with a girl whose reputation is so marred. Chicks will hate that answer but I think it's pretty honest. These guys aren't douchebags or assholes or even misogynistic. They're just regular guys telling it like it is: they like her but they don't want to throw a hot dog down a hallway. It's an unfortunate paradox where women with healthy sexual appetites and ideals are told they are in fact sexually equal to men but still have the "whore" stigma to deal with. I think a lot of it has to do with the fact that many people have traditional gender roles so ingrained that it's difficult to see a woman who can emotionally separate herself from such an intimate act. Not everyone sees sex as simply something physical and fun to do and rather see it as something that happens when to people at least really like each other. Considering that women are supposed to be the emotional nurturers, it might make men uneasy in that a promiscuous woman is going against what they see as her nature: women nurture, men hunt, end of story. If women are hunters now too, then shit, now what? When I spoke to one of my guy friends about M, he said, "I like a chase. If every man can have her then what defines me as special? Picture a herd of deer running and a man with a gun going after them. A hunter would be suspicious of the deer that looked at the man and just sat down easily waiting to be shot. He might pass it over thinking it was lame or diseased or less than the rest of the healthy ones running away." Is it bullshit? Maybe, but it does kind of make sense. I don't know. I haven't thought it completely through but I see what happens with my "whore" friend and it makes me think that we are minute baby steps away from thinking of men and women in terms of traditional gender roles. For me, I keep my numbers low for a couple of reasons. I like that I can fit my list on a bev nap instead of a steno pad. I like that most people know that about me and I think it garners a little more respect. I like that I've had the same fuckbuddy for ten years and that it's so comfortable that he can tap me on the forehead and say "it's not going to suck itself" and it makes me laugh--I dig comfortable sex. But I know myself. I know that I have to have an emotional connection (somewhat) with someone in order to have sex with him. It can certainly be a one night stand and doesn't mean I am or will fall in love but it's special nonetheless. I don't judge, I just know what's right for me.
A key that can open many locks is a master key, a great, awesome key. A lock that can be opened by many different keys is a shitty lock. Also ...
I hear this shit from just about everyone. Same old shit, day in, day out. Fact is, there are more important things in life than how many times you've gotten your dick wet. Having a pang of regret here and there about missed opportunities? Fair enough. We all get those. Flat out feeling shitty because you didn't bang as many chicks as the next guy? Get over it.
Also relevant: <a class="postlink" href="http://www.theonion.com/articles/study-casual-sex-only-rewarding-for-first-few-deca,2274/" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false;">http://www.theonion.com/articles/study- ... deca,2274/</a>
On the other end of the spectrum: <a class="postlink" href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Involuntary_celibacy" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false;">http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Involuntary_celibacy</a> This is a pretty interesting article.
As opposed to long term relationships or marriage where the thrill tends to be gone after some 5 - 7 years at best?
This is the dumbest thing I have ever seen. They list a whole bunch of contributing factors, but they forgot the number one reason for being an "incel", which is "wrote a wikipedia article about not having sex."
Yeah but still. I'm exagerrating about the failure at life part, I'm a pretty cocky bastard with no real understanding of humility. There were just a lot of opportunities where I could have scored and I know exactly where I fucked up. Its not like I really want "Okay, I want to fuck 50 girls." Its more like I wanted to close on those opportunities. But I am on a quest to acquire all 31 flavors. I've recently have acquired Persian, my next target is for a ginger redhead with light freckles.
"Yeah Doc, I'm a virgin by complete coincidence! We incels are just unlucky! Why does no one ever believe me!?"
I gotta say, the Jim Jeffries/lock-key-hole thing rings quite true to me. For the majority of guys, getting laid is a challenge, to say the least. For pretty much ALL girls, getting laid is slightly more difficult than breathing. I still don't think a girl should get the negative connotation that comes with the 'slut' label any sooner than a guy (based on numbers alone), but I think that connotation comes from the fact that a girl sleeping with lots of guys is simply...unimpressive, because damn near every girl could do it.
I would think by reading this thread you would have come to the opposite conclusion. Getting laid isn't that hard unless you're fat, unattractive, and/or grate the nerves.
Ohhh please. I think you vastly underestimate the amount of work, effort, planning and dumb luck that goes into a guy being able to get laid; particularly with different women on an ongoing basis. Perhaps 10% of guys do well in the genetic lottery (looks, physique, athleticism) and as a result tend to find it easier to get laid, usually from a younger age and therefore having greater confidence later in life. Though one qualification is that younger guys nowdays probably find it far easier to get laid because (young) women have never been more promiscious/slutty than they are now. (thanks to porn, the media, music videos and "raunch culture") Personally, I've had to work harder than a one-legged man in an ass kicking contest.
Some jokes just write themselves. I'm fat and on my best day from my best angle about average in terms of looks. The only 'genetic lottery' I've got going for me is that I'm a little taller than average and I'm a bit clever sometimes. The vast, vast majority of my random hookups come from the fact that I'm friendly, easy going and fun to hang out with. If you're working that hard to just get laid, not to find an awesome relationship with someone you really connect with, but just to get laid? I'd argue that you're either doing it wrong, have a face that makes the goatse guy wince, so fat you need to wash with a rag on a stick, or have a personality like nails on a chalkboard.