Apparently some of you have taken offence to my boy (I don't know him but fuck it I am backing the man) Joey B's comments. Yes this post was a grammatical abortion oddly enough from a main hailing from the home of the Queen's English and yes it made little to no sense. But fuck me it made me laugh and at least provided something interesting (or at least my interpretation of Limey). This board struggles to get more than 3 pages on most threads so maybe before everyone red dots new posters into submission and potential withdrawl we as a community give credence to the fact what may at first appear coal may be a diamond.
He should take his arse to the soda or pop thread, I'm interested to hear what he has to add to that one.
I'll attempt to translate it. Note: I have never been to England. "One event that I prefer to share with you all today was during one of the better weeks of freshman year. Being the fine young gent that I am, I ordered exactly 20 shots of various alcoholic beverages such as tequila, whiskey (though whisky is also acceptable), sambuca, and vodka. I consumed these within a few minutes and expelled the contents of my stomach all over the bar shortly thereafter. I could barely walk, but found a strapping young woman who was sitting down, and joined her. As the night progressed, I had intercourse with her. Then, I had intercourse with her room mate. I then went back to my apartment, smiling, while feces uncontrollably poured out of my ass." I think I nailed this one, eh?
My proudest drinking come from when I was 15, and I went down to see both of my brothers at one of their universities. My tally from that day was almost as much as I can drink 5 years on. My last clear memory of the night was the barman telling us (a group of 4) that we had drunk half of a barrel of one of the beers they had on (that's 36 pints). If I drank that much now it'd leave me 2 sheets to the wind, so how I didn't die is a mystery. Since I have been at university I have drunk to extreme excess many times, the outcomes have not been something I am proud of. Even if I did achieve something I could be proud of I wouldn't remember as I am a blackout drunk. I usually start getting blank spots after about 5 beers. This has led to me only going out hard drinking with friends I trust a lot. I am a student in the UK as well, and the above translation isn't half bad. Except for the feces bit at the end. Hanging out of your arse is just being really hung over... Also - it is arse. Ass is a donkey...
Also, 'voddy' identifies him as a southern fairy, since *no one* in the north uses the word voddy. Ever. Focus: The only really impressive drinking-related feat that I can think of is from a couple of years back...I ended up going out drinking in Blackpool for the night with a bunch of people...I dropped just over £100 in the various bars and nightclubs (with 95% of that being drinks for me) and came home stone cold sober, carrying the niece of one of the people I was out with, who was so drunk she couldn't walk straight.
Oh sweet Jesus, Blackpool. The source of my greatest drinking achievement and the worst fucking dump I've ever drank in. Seriously I would wilfully be the one to press the button that Nukes that place, absolute fucking hole. Anyway yeah, me and my friends went out Thursday night in Burnley got hammered was a quid a drink so not too bad. However, my sleeping pattern was pretty fucked and I ended up staying awake all night and just as I was about to go to sleep, must have been 10am the next morning an MSN message pops up. danny(my friend): Hey danny wanna go blackpool today danny(me): Why the fuck not lad So off the three of us went. We got the train there, and surprise surprise, in the UK it's illegal to drink pretty much anywhere outside a pub, with the fucking exception of trains and train stations. So we sat in blackpool train station, buying a drink from the shop inside it and drinking in the waiting area. There were cops everywhere, we were very loud, creating a fucking awful mess and getting away with it. Anyway, long story short I managed to stay awake all day and night drinking non-stop, fucking Blackpool was shit. Anyway, stayed all the way through the next night and day too. Then some tramp gave me amphetamine and I ended up watching Burnleys opening match for the season against Stoke on Trent. I fell asleep in the bar at half time. So im summary, must have drank about 40-60 drinks, one bomb of phet on day three and was awake drinking straight for a total of 54 hours or so. I'm proud as fuck of that.
I once drank 238 beers in a week for all the ladies I've been with. Sluts. Really though, I once nearly cashed a handle of sailor jerry, peed in my buddys bed, and generally made an ass of myself.