Rave: Done epoxy-ing my bathroom! The 1970s-era tub with tacky brass sliding doors is now a thing of the past; hello, gleaming white re-finished porcelain! Rant: You have no idea how horribly that stuff smells. Truly toxic, I'd recommend a professional if you can't be out of the house for about a week. Rave: BUDWEISER SHOOTOUT BABY! HELL YEAH!
Rave: yesterday was glorious. Walked for a crisp 9km, then came home and cooked a surprisingly delicious chili and rosemary shepherd's pie. Went out for cocktails for a friend's birthday and had a ball, then gathered a couple of the girls and headed to karaoke. I am a terrible, dying-cat singer, but I don't let that stop me. Turns out one of the girls has the best taste in music I've ever seen. On board with everything from the Rolling Stones to Nirvana to the Choirboys to Elton John. Left karaoke at 3:30am, passed out for 6 hours, and woke up with no hangover despite the absurd amount I drank. Did some minor house tidying ahead of our cleaner coming tomorrow, and now I have the entire day free to smoke joints and relax. Life is good.
Rave: Went and bought a new king size bed and bedframe yesterday. Rant: Totally did not realize how damn big the mattress was and had to return it immediately, since it wouldn't even fit on the top of our rented Yukon XL. Rave: Checked my email this morning and had an email from Groupon. What's this? A $2700 king size memory foam mattress for $699, with shipping included? Sold! Rant: We have to wait to get the new mattress delivered.
Rave: There are no fishhooks in my back right now. Nor, to my knowledge, have there ever been. Ravt: There's no way I would the courage to even attend a party where ^ that was happening.
RAVE: My brother was buzzing all his hair off last night so I cut mine off too. I went from having ear length long hair for 8 years to being a baldy. I've got tons of compliments on it though, so I think it will stay. RANT: My head is pretty cold now.
Rave: I was going to cover a mixed martial arts fight event last night for a small website, but got a call from the Detroit Free Press because their beatwriter was very sick and couldn't go. I was asked if I could step in and give them 300 words by 10:45 p.m. The result? A "special writer" appearance this morning. Who knows if I'll get another opportunity, but it's still pretty awesome. Rant: I bought an issue of the Detroit Free Press, but I guess it wasn't a big enough deal to make the actual print edition, just online.
rave: damn I love summer. Just saw a jogger straight out of porn. Super bouncy perfect blonde pony tail, giant tits, tiny waist, amazing ass and legs, in a skin tight top with enough bounce to really enjoy, and tiny painted on shorts. Bless her cotton socks.
RAVE: After two years of being told that I was going to be promoted to a managerial position, the conveyor belt of promotions went into effect. My bosses all got bumped up, so I got the promotion a lot faster than I expected. Tomorrow morning starts what I've branded as "the Reign of Terror."
Rave: Did my first trail run today. Only a little over 4 miles, but damn was that fun. Rant: Rolled my ankle near the end, it better get better over night or tomorrow I'm fucked at work.
Rave, soon to be Rant: Deciding to take another crack at this quitting smoking thing. Let's see how it goes.
Rave: Temptations 1 and 2 avoided. (The cigarette right before I go to sleep and the morning drive cigarette) It's probably 2 out of about 500 that I'll have to avoid but gotta start somewhere right? I'll try to use this as a little bit of a commitment mechanism. I hope it doesn't piss everyone off.
Rant If you give birth to six or more kids, you are NOT allowed to refer to yourself as a "revolutionary parent". You are nothing more than a hood ornament for a perpetually opened vagina, and you should be sewn up or thrown in prison.
Rant: Helped put a good man in the ground last week. Rave: Got to meet some of his family. And we went out and truly celebrated his life. It was a good time.
Rave Pitchers and catcher reported and spring training is getting started, awesome time of the year. A few million tourists and their wallets will be pouring into the Phoenix area to take in the whole scene. I am really just happy because spring means women wearing less clothes and my bar will be packed everyday.
Rant: I am trying to decide if I want to move out of the house or get the gum graft surgery that I need, which will mean that I will have to put off moving out for I don't know how long. I am not sure how soon I really need to have the surgery--the periodontist couldn't give me an exact answer--but he said that he definitely recommended that I have it done. It sucks not to have my own place, but I think that it will suck more if I lose some of my teeth. Rave: I used to be a fatass, and a friend of my mom's who has an overweight son and runs an organization to fight childhood obesity wanted to know if I would give a motivational speech to some overweight kids. I don't really like to talk about how I used to be obese, so I declined. I don't think that the parents would appreciate me telling those kids that I lost the weight by cutting myself to 600 calories a day, chugging water, not exercising at all, and smoking cigarettes. Besides, I had to do it on my own, so they can too. Rant: I can't stop thinking about a girl who I can't have. I blew my chance with her, and it hurts. Rave: I got hired on with the company that I have been working for. I am glad not to be on a 1099 anymore! Rant: The project that I am currently working on at my job ends at the beginning of next year. Once it's over I may not have a job.
Rant: Oh my fucking fuck. I thought grammar mistakes annoyed me before. I just saw a dude fuck up an apostrophe on a Facebook status and immediately wanted to go outside and find a kitten to punch.
Rant: Dear beautiful lady who actually busts her ass at the gym and who I have made mutual eye contact with on occasion but never said hello: I appreciate that you recognized me at Target and came over to say hello. Believe me, I really do, and under any other circumstances I would've done my best to woo and charm you. Admittedly, my skills are akin to a puppy sliding across black ice, but at least I would've tried. I was certainly not trying to be short, or put you off or anything of the sort, and normally I'm not so brusque with my answers. However, when you serendipitously saw me I was frantically doing the duck walk to the restroom as I had a DefCon 1 situation in my colon. My sphincter was clenched tight enough to make a diamond out of coal, and any further waiting put me at risk of irreparable inner damage. Now that at least communication has been established I hope to redeem myself in the future. Your friend, FreeCorps