By the by: I crashed my car last week. Totalled it on a country road. But I got to walk away with just a few bruises, and no one else was involved, so that's pretty good by Easter weekend standards in my neck of the woods. By the by: It also happened the day after I lost my sim card (and sim card tray, which handily pops in and out when I'm drunk and absent minded), so I had to rely on help from my fellow countrymen. About ten cars passed me by before someone stopped to see if I needed help/was injured/dead. Rave: I don't think I've posted since I last mentioned my girlfriend was preggers. Well, we've had the kid, he was a Spoiler boy . Much like his Dad, the kid was lazy and stuck around a whole week longer in his Mum than he was supposed to. Then when she finally went into labour, he ended up suffering from 'meconium aspiration' which means that he had done his first poop before he left, and the little idiot accidentally breathed it in on his way out. An emergency cesarean later, he was fine, but had to stay in an isolette (incubator type dealy) for 2 weeks after, with a high amount of oxygen, with all sorts of fun needles poking in him with drips and anti-biotics, and was practically nil by mouth for that time. Which, when you're a baby whose main source of stimulus/life is by mouth, is like Christmas. But anyway, it's four months later and he's healthy as can be, so on his 18th/21st birthday I can embaress him to all his mates with a speech about why he's full of shit (assuming). Plus, he's a good kid so far, we put him to bed at 7pm, give him a feed at 10:30pm, and he sleeps all the way through to 7am for his next feed, and if we sleep in, so does he for an hour or so... (yes, we're good parents that way). So I can throw it in all my childless friends faces when they make some shit-eating comment on how we must not get any sleep because we got a kid. And I can throw it the faces of my friends that do have kid/s that are screaming hell-demons. This is why I don't have many friends. Since having the kid, I don't regret it for a second, and already I find him amusing. Everyone says he's cute, and I agree. The weird thing is that since he's been born, all the other babies I've seen seem ugly. Weird shaped heads, beady eyes, the works; where mine just has his mother's nice features placed on my boyishly round head. The downside is, he's an old lady magnet, and I fear they are life vampires, draining our life away with each attempt at conversation. Here is a picture of him I used in a fanmail to Maddox: Spoiler Possibly NSFW I'm not actually that bad of a father, I'm just playing this shit up for my amusement.
Rant: I locked my keys in my car this afternoon, something I haven't done in 20 years. Like an idiot, I put them down on the seat when I unlocked my car to retrieve something, then I hit the lock button on the door before closing it. I realized what I had done once i got back to my desk. I left the windows rolled down slightly, as it's pretty hot here today, but not down enough to get an arm in. Rave: Went to the supply room, and duct taped a bungee cord to a broom handle (we have all that crap but no coat hangers- go figure), then fished the keys off the seat with the hook thingy on the end of the bungee cord.
Truck drivers. I hate you all. Every one of you. You could fuck up a wet dream. If I gave you three ball bearings you'd lose one, steal one, and break one.
RAVE: Excellent 48 hours. Rode on the back of my best friend's motorcycle for the first time Sunday, then spent Monday with said best friend at the beach instead of going to work. No rants today, either. It's been a pretty good day.
RAVE: got 5 new brandings on Saturday. Hosted an awesome Liquid Nitrogen party/experiment day. Super rad. RANT: Got a cold somewhere in all that. Sick as a dog Sunday, missed Monday and most of Tuesday at work. On one of the full work weeks through the public holiday season here. I get paid pretty well, but only on days when I actually work. Can't afford this shit. RAVE: Went to a super fun rope workshop last night. Feeling well enough that I thought I'd be back at work no worries today. RANT: Ended up out dealing with shit until like 1:30 in the morning. Feel like BULLSHIT this morning SUPER FUCKING HATE FUCK RANT: The shit I was dealing with was trying to hold together a friend's family including his ex (one of my best friends) and his fiance who I fucking love to death, because he's posted a bunch of super depressed stuff on facebook including what might be a suicide/good bye note. The guy has been self destructing for years and we're not close anymore because of his drug problem. But I still love the motherfucker and the people he's hurting with this are some of the absolute best people I know. Fucking fuck. He's also a minor celebrity - so strangers who've followed his career have seen the facebook shit and are sending the cops and etc to his house - even though he's not there. So in the middle of this shit, his fiance is having to deal with the cops and ambulance people while trying to find her fucking suicidal fiance, all while blaming herself.
RAVE = Sweetwater 420 Fest this weekend in Candler Park. I'm volunteering Friday and Saturday, and due to some good karma I generated by collecting a dozen or so volunteers for them, I was moved to the Artist Relations team for Friday. RAVE = The semester ends two weeks from tomorrow. Two exams and a project, and I'm done. RAVE = Exactly a month until Europe and Africa. Then NYC in August, and Denver, DC, and NC at various times between September and December. Let the games begin.
Rave?: My friend just offered me 72 pounds of Wendy's french fries. He says he came about them legally and has no freezer space, would I like them? How... strange. He works at the port. I can't help but think this is his bribe. The idea of going to jail over stolen potatoes, and the inevitable FARK headline, is hilarious. Now I'm thinking of all the scenarios of how he might have come by 12 bags of fries. Some friends of ours, capice? Rant: I don't have any freezer space either. I suggested, since him and his girl can't afford a champagne bath, that they cook up all the fries and have a romantic fry bath. Least I'm brainstorming.
Rant: I picked up Marie Claire for my bus trip to and fro DC last weekend, and I was flipping through their special Marie Claire @ Work issue when I turn the page and, oh look, there's my boss from my last job which laid us all off. She was also featured on Refinery 29 like a month after it happened. I'm happy at my job now, and I'm happy to be taking the nonprofit communications path rather than the fashion writing path in the fork in the road that I was simultaneously pursuing, but god damnit it sucked. I'm still really bitter about the way that whole job and especially the layoffs were handled. We were completely running our whole branch of the company without any leadership from her, and then all of a sudden we were just cut off without any access to any other opportunities with them. There had to have been something we could've been considered for, especially when she wasn't even doing her job. It's just lame that her rewards for her ineptitude keep getting shoved in my face. I know I'm saving the world and everything now, but fuck it, I want to be in Marie Claire.
I know I'm clogging this shit up, but I don't know where else to say this, and I can't seem to add this to my last post, sorry. I just have an observation that I can't put on facebook, twitter, etc, because it'd stir up too much drama... tl;dr: my cousin's husband is unintentionally funny. Rave: My cousin is deaf, bless her. She's got a cochlear implant she doesn't really use. She prefers signing and has some sort of 'deaf pride' thing going. I don't get it, I don't know the details, I don't really care, go to it, fine. She lives two states away and I don't really know her apart from on Facebook. She means well, is nice, writes cogent, grammatically correct sentences, often supporting me and my partner with advice for our kid. She's cool in my books. Her husband seems like a douche. My opinion may be coloured by my cousin, who may be emotionally unstable, since she seems to leave and return to him every so often. It could also be coloured by the fact he posted a photo of her medication on her profile when she left, his shit eating grin in his avatar, or that he lists race first when complaining about someone he doesn't like, who knows. He friended me on facebook, I didn't want to deal with any drama that would come of not accepting it. Mostly he just bugs me with those stupid game requests. He's deaf as well. And he writes like this: and and That's right. He writes the way deaf people talk. I know that sounds logical, and it's probably wrong to derive amusement from it, but I do. It's probably wrong to compare him unfavourably to other deaf people who seem to write sentences without any trouble, but I do. But most of all, I know it's wrong to read them out loud in a deaf guy voice, but I do it anyway. If he wasn't a dullard racist wanker, I might feel bad. But that just isn't the case. So I think it's funny in an 'at him' not 'with him' kinda way.
Rant: I fucked up my back and I have no drugs to make the pain go away. Rave: I think the only solution to this problem is happy hour beers, so I'm going to fix everything at 3:30 PM!
Rave Hello tax refund! Rant Lost a decent chunk of money from my return because I deducted the TurboTax fees from it...oh well it's better than going to some idiots that take forever to process your taxes. Rave Possible new job oppurtunities at these two restaurants, just not sure which one will work out more in the long run. Rant May looks like it will be a busy month. A week of ORI(fake war) training, then three weeks of training at home station. I might have to put my summer college class on hold until fall.
Rant: Interviewed 5 soon-to-be college grads for the open position on the team this week. Boy do they suck at interviews. I've never met a group of more uninteresting, non-chalant people in my life. When I asked one of them, "Why were you interested in applying here?" The response I got was, "It was just one of the companies I sent my resume too." I wanted to lean across the table and smack the self-entitlement right off her face. There's no way I was this much of a retard when I was interviewing.
Great big mother fucking angry rant: Did a number on my wrist a few days ago, I'm right handed and suck at being ambidexterous. So now I'm sitting around, waiting for one of my housemates to wake up so they can tie my work boots up for me. Took me a good 15 minutes to work out how to put my bra on one handed, and having a fucking cigarette and coffee at the same time is almost impossible. Rave?: Due to me being allergic to any useful pain killers, meaning I don't take any really, the pain killers my doc prescribed for me says it "may cause drowsiness". If by drowsiness they mean they'll knock me the fuck out for three hours, then yep. Rant: due to said knocking the fuck outness, I can't take said painkillers at work for massive oh&s reasons. Have physio on my wrist today. Should be delightfully fun and painful. Yay. /end bitch
Rave: On a train home from London listening to Joey Diaz drunk after a good night with a buddy talking about everything from kids to being a man to forks in the road. Fucking awesome. Rant: Wife has a cold. I better not get sick Rave: I do like being the one who takes care of her Rave: Even sick she laid out comfy clothes for me, made me dinner and downloaded the Daily Show. Awesome woman
Rave: New TV is HUGE and awesome! Rave: Halfway done with checking out of the squadron. Rant: We have a run with the Wing General tomorrow morning at like 0630. Rave: Commandant is coming to talk to us in the afternoon, pretty stoked.