Rant: Another date canceled. It's not like I'm sending dozens of creepy texts. There was no communication between yesterday when we made plans and today when she told me she can't make it. I don't think any of you can grasp the idea of how often this shit happens to me. I pull myself back up and stop feeling depressed. I do things to better myself. I meet a girl and make plans. She cancels 2-3 hours before we are supposed to hang out. I go back to hating life again. Repeat monthly.
Rant: I never take the weather report seriously. Teaching karate in wet socks/sneakers sucks. My toes are all wrinkly and walking makes 'em squeak. It's the skin equivalent of nails on a chalkboard. Rave: Whatever, mini oreos.
RANT: All the "wait and see" has led to one answer: surgery. Lovely. Good thing is that all the bone chippies will be gone, I know what to expect recovery-wise and life will be back to normal sooner rather than later. Staying positive with this one. RAVE: Tomorrow I get to enjoy the fruit of my fb's guilt in not being able to help me out when I was all laid up: a night with my best friend, his girlfriend, my fb, and me at the Sands to see Incubus. I honestly can't wait. Dinner at Emeril's, then Incubus, then blackjack. He'll never admit the reasons behind buying the tickets but that's the beauty of our friendship: no words necessary. Ever. I guess that's why I keep him around. Well, and the sex. RANT: Yeah, about the sex. Still dealing with a bruised bladder so the doctor says there will still be none of that. The fb's response? "There's nothing wrong with your mouth, right?" Nice.
Rave: Love the new job, especially the fact that I don't have to wear a suit and tie. Now, I can wipe my boogers on the wall above the urinal!
Rant: 14 armed robberies in the last 2 weeks. All of them were within 3 miles of my apartment...2 were on my street. It's the same 2 guys during all hours of the day. 11:30 at night. 7 in the morning. Middle of the day. WTF, people? I can't run in my hood. I can't run on my trail. Where the fuck am I supposed to run? That's just fucked up. I think everyone around here is scared to leave their apartments. Rave: Despite having a gun pointed at their heads, nobody has been hurt yet. Thank God for that.
Rave: I just got a new job with significant increases in salary and benefits. Rant: I can't get excited about it as much as I want to be. I don't want to be doing it, it's in a location that offers nothing but loneliness for me, and it means going back to school for something I don't really care about. I'm fairly certain I just began the long walk towards a life of quiet desperation. But I guess that's better than sprinting down the path of screaming desperation. Hopefully, I can keep my mind together for the 2 years this will require and be able to move onto something else.
rave:Just got a contract extension offer. RANT:I've been in current gig for 11 months and new contract is 3 months. Par for the course with this gig. All good. Except come 12 months, I'd like to see a pay bump. 5% at least for cost of living and to reflect value of my skills, but really? 10% is my starting request and is less than I'm worth to this business or the open market. Called the recruiter/contract agency back and told them and the first words out of their mouth, the first fucking words, are trying to condition me down, warning me that I'm already 8 dollars a day below her highest paid contractor in the state and blah blah blah. Fuck off Lady. I know what you're doing. I know how conditioning works. And I know the market rate for my skills. You lying bitch. I'm being entirely fucking reasonable and asking for a fucking pittance. I know you're going to go to my boss and tell him that I'm an unreasonable asshole and want 30% to stay, negotiate him down to 15%, give me a 7.5% bump and shuffle the rest in raising your commission and burning my good will with my boss, and act like you're doing me a favor. Don't talk to me like I'm stupid while you do it.
Rave: This godawful stint known as BCT is almost over. In less than a week I'll be on my way to South Carolina to see The Guy. Rant: He doesn't get an off post pass. The likelihood of having a quickie is nonexistent. Angerface.
RANT I'm annoyed at having to constantly be there for some certain friends at the moment. I've lost four relatives so far this year, and while I'm pretty strong and able to be that way for the rest of my family, it's annoying that a couple of friends are venting/complaining to me all the time. Sure, these issues are obviously hard for them to deal with at the moment (hating current job, ex boyfriend drama), they just sort of pale in comparison to what my family is going through. One of my best qualities as a friend is that I can be there for people and be a constant source of support, but I would have appreciated some of this stuff being tuned down for a little while. I don't want people taking advantage of my good qualities and treating me like a pushover.
Rantish Whine: Why do exes feel the need to say "No one will ever love you like me." I should fucking hope not, jackass. That was the point of devouring your soul for breakfast that day.
Rant: So they been training me to be a supervisor the usual supervisor, that's been training me, has taken the rest of the week off. As much as the gym has been going great for me these past few weeks, it ain't helping the stress levels as it should. Added to this Ive been taking prescription strength pseudoephedrine for allergies. This always makes me super irritable and just plain unfocused. Terrrrrrrible. Also, we have a big research job going on this weekend. I do get paid more for working directly in it but it means 12 hour days fri-sat-sun. Goodbye weekend. Ive been trying to stay good during the week so I can get on a good diet and exercise schedule but fuck if I won't be going out next Monday to compensate for the bullshit Ill endure this weekend.
Rave: Hospital sent us a large check today. It was for my wife's nasal surgery last summer, that we apparently over-paid for once insurance was taken into account. Rant: It is all about to go right back out the door to pay for the birth. Rave: Still, it will allow us to hire a landscaper to fix some major issues outside our house, namely a large bed of rocks that the previous owners were using to park a trailer. It looks like complete and total shit, and I can't wait to get rid of it and put down some fresh sod over there. Now we just need to rebuild the shitty, shitty fence.
Ravt: A girl I used to work with just had her second baby. A good Irish family, John is the name of her brother, father and grandfather. Fair enough, but holy cow. Her married name is Smith. She truly just named her son John Smith. Why even give him a name if it's going to be that nondescript? That's worse than a Steve Stevenson or a Michael Michaelson. Sheesh. If my surname was Smith, no matter how dear the name was I'd simply have to go with something a bit more unique for the first name. Not quite in the D'Brickashaw realm, but one or two notches up from John.
Rave: I heard the UPS truck parking outside just as I was checking the shipping status of the camera (a simple Nikon) and small Gorillapod I bought. Double Rave: It arrived with more than enough time for me to play around with it before I take it on my camping trip next week. Six blissful days with nothing to do but fish and paddle and drink (not necessarily in that order) well out of cell phone and Wifi reach. Rant Work has really been wearing me down. It's been another slow month, but I'm actually handling it decently well and am still hammering the phone. Regardless, I fucking hate having a call to sale ratio at about a tenth of where it was at two months ago, even if I'm calling yet another different market. Rave: I sat next to the CEO during a webinar demo (that I had set up) on Monday and it was hands down the second best one I had set thus far. Everything was perfect. I say second because my boss was back from a trip yesterday to negotiate a deal with a top 5 company in the industry, and that was mine as well. I may not be getting a lot of deals made, but you bet I'm getting damn good ones. And once again, in a week I'll be in a place with no phones in sight. Paradise.
Rant: No, I was wrong. Not even a cost of living raise. 12 months of generally kicking ass and being very well regarded. Not even a 3% offer as a 'we're tight on cash but we do appreciate your work'. And we're not tight on cash. Fuck you.
Rave: Had breakfast with Pussy Galore this morning during her quick stop through Chicago making her way to NYC, then to Spain. I made it out with both my kidneys and it was a good time. Not to mention I used her as an excuse to skip the first half of work. Rave: The second half of work consisted of a meeting where I sat, smiled, and made jokes in between the big wigs talking, then being scooted off to a Cubs rooftop game with free food and quality beer.
Rave: Last day of work and home in a week. Rant: Last day of job, no prospects in sight, and from Bali to South Carolina is not an upgrade. God damn it.
RANT: PinkDad called an hour ago. My 20 year old cousin was robbed at gunpoint tonight. She's a mess, my uncle is braying for blood and now my family is asking me what on earth will happen to keep this cocksucker in prison for 20 years. Unfortunately, my reply was "Uh, I don't know what the minimum time is in NJ for Armed Robbery. If this happened in Georgia, 10 years no parole." RANT: I wish I could take the handful of people on my caseload that have committed armed robbery, sit them down, pull out my gun, point it at them and say "Well, it's not so nice on this end of the gun, is it, fucker?" This would get me fired, arrested and convicted of a felony. RAVE: At least my cousin is okay. Traumatized, but okay. I fucking hate people.
Rave: Last day of work for a month before I start my course. Removals guys are here tomorrow to pack all my stuff up for me and then farewell Saturday, leave on Monday. Rave: Will be catching up with a heap of mates along the way so should be a great drive down.
RAVE My online shopping arrived today. I finally have a good new jacket, so winter will be a lot more comfortable. I highly recommend signing up for an email subscription for your favourite clothing store. Even if you're like me and only check your emails every 4-5 days, you get constant updates, particularly relating to huge discounts or the like. I just scored 35% off a whole lot of clothes for winter, a sale I otherwise wouldn't have known about