RAVE: The following is a tidbit of a conversation with one of my new probies. Him: I've heard of you before I came into your office. Me: Oh? Him: Yeah. Nobody at the jail wants you as their PO. Me: Yeah? Why's that? Him: You're tough and you lock everyone up. Me: Well, I don't lock up the people that stay out of trouble and do as they're told on probation. Him: I hope you never get angry with me. You're tiny but I'm afraid of you. Me: I'm afraid of bees and cockroaches and they're smaller than me. So, we've got that fright of things smaller than us thing in common. Did I mention he's a full fledged completely tatted member of the Aryan Brotherhood? And somehow my little 5'3" 99 pound self frightens him. And I wasn't even wearing my duty weapon during his intake. I love this job.
RANT: Just remembered why I never went home for the holidays. Festering house-spanning arguments with liberal amounts of whining and self-pity. My grandmother: "It's like nobody wants me here!" You're right, I don't.
Thank you everyone for the PMs and reps for Tonka. It means a lot to me that you all have had nothing but kind words. He left a huge hole in the family, this has been a horrible time.
RANT/RAVE: Around Easter, so almost 3 months ago, I was talking to a girl, going really well, when all of a sudden she just shut down. Wasn't responding to texts when normally we were texting quite often, didn't return my calls, radio darkness. Over the next 2 months, she would basically drive by text. Send a lengthy apology text of sorts, shed a little light on why she fell off the map, but still wouldn't respond to my replies, etc... Initially I was really upset because just prior to the schism, I had told people I gave serious thought to dating this girl (and being notoriously finicky and picky this made my friends take note). Then I got annoyed but still wanted closure, then over time I kind of just got immune to it. I had no malice towards her, some frustration, still got a charge when I saw girls in bars who looked like her, but stopped getting the drunken urges to text her or figure anything out. Well last night she texts me, and after my initial "what the fuck" reaction, we proceed to talk for awhile. Skeptical and cynical as I am, there was a sincerity to what she was saying, explaining some family issues and related stress, not making excuses, just explaining, then asking if I wanted to come over and talk. After initially hesitating and feel out the situation some more, I relent, and head over there. We proceed to talk for a long time, rife with apologies, attempted explanations, and probes into how upset I was at her. We started to hook up, but I pulled up cause it was a bit too much and too cliche. Now the morning after, its weird. I mean, feelings are still there, not as intense as they were, but lingering. Part of me is still EXTREMELY wary, despite the genuineness of it all. The other thing that trips me out is the heaviness of everything despite our actually interactions being over such a short time frame. And she mentioned that explicitly as something that freaked her out. Sigh...life, never easy, never boring I guess. RAVE: Headed out in 4 hours back to my college town for my friend's wedding. No better way to escape the mindfuck of last night that to punish my liver for 72 hours in the town where I became a man. Love and Honor bitches...
Rant: Dog threw up 4 times last night, THEN pooped on the porch. Wtf dog? After the first three barf incidents we put him on the balcony because we were trying to sleep and he kept sneaking around the house to barf in random places (ie: the carpeted areas) and I wake up and find a puddle of completely liquid barf and a pile of shit. He looks REALLY happy this morning...
Rant: I am so not a typical girl when it comes to wedding planning. I hate everything about it. This is so stupid. I don't even like flowers. Rave: Chocolate Glazed Donut Coffee.
Rant: Nope, pretty sure that was a pile of completely liquid shit on the porch, he had the squirts this morning too. I feel bad for bitching when he is obviously sick. And I know my mom has washed my poopy baby ass and cleaned up my puke when I was feeling bad in the past, so I'll stop now. It's just life.
Rant: That summertime heater using mutant was back at it again today. Rave: Tomorrow a memo is going out from management: "No personal heater usage allowed in the office between May 31st and October 31st". It's a little sad that someone had to take the time to actually put pen to paper for something like this.
Rave Back in Chicago till Tuesday visiting my best bud and going to Pitchfork festival(hipster central, I know) for the first time. Good times, and good music...bring it on Any Chicago board members want to meet up for drinks tonight or throughout the weekend send me a pm or rep! Rant Didn't quite pass my ALS course last Saturday. At least now I know what areas to re study...back to the books.
Rave: I met with my boss today and to say the least I'm very happy with the results. Rant/Rave: Starting to call a new market still sucks, but anything will beat what I was just doing. Rant: Gotta hustle to finish a project that has taken too fucking long and it's nobody's fault but mine. Rave: I'm shooting in a match on Saturday and the forecast is ideal so far. It'll be the perfect day to shoot high scores!
RAVE: I DANCED for the first time in six months!!! Of course I still have an ugly smelly knee brace but that didn't matter. I fucking danced. Keeping my fingers crossed that there is a light at the end of this terrible tunnel. RAVE: It's 6:19 am. I went out at 9:30 pm to see my favorite local band. Hmmmm....9 hours later? Yep. That's what I call a "going away party." My people kick ass.
Shallowish Rave: After two cesareans, three abdominal surgeries and struggles with my weight, I gave up on getting my four pack back. Yesterday my friend and I were sharing a fitting room and she points out my abs. I'm so close to getting that total definition back and I haven't even noticed! I definitely have a very flat stomach again. Rant: My boobs shrank with all of this exercise. Boo. Rave: The "Olympic Challenge" my boss entered me into is a weight loss challenge. I couldn't lose weight unless I starved myself. However, it includes my staff and two obese women are letting me coach them, they have both lost over five lbs this week. Even if we don't win, this is satisfying.
Rant: Work last night can suck my balls. It was like every whinny asshole in town came in just to bitch and complain and come up with ridiculous scenarios and demands (i.e. I want to rent this game for seven days, NOT five, and I will NOT PAY more than it costs to rent five!). Also note: Things are due back at 11. If you bring in all 25 of your rentals at 11:20 as I am walking out the door, clocked out, and the computers are turned off, and the alarm is set, I will not go back in, turn everything back on, clock BACK in (which could likely get me fired) or work off the clock (which would also get me fired), just so I can scan in your movies. I also won't stand there and listen to you curse at me. I'll leave, because screw you. Rant: My shitty night at work was only made worse knowing that the Air Conditioning at our house was out. My wife got home around 9:30 with our daughter to an 80 degree house, and the air had been humming all day uselessly. Fantastic. Rant: Slept from midnight til 4:30 AM, woke up to feed my daughter, got her back to sleep, and then I couldn't get back to sleep. Between lack of sleep and waiting/paying for the Air Conditioner Repair, this is going to be one long, suck-ass day. Rave: Hoping the wife and I can get some alone time this evening. It has been a long week, and we both need to blow off some steam.
Rave: My son's band, "A Will Away" won a battle of the bands contest and will be performing at the Hartford, Ct Van's Warp Tour on the 22nd. Hopefully this will give them the exposure they need to enter into the Big Leagues! http://warped.battleofthebands.com/u/awillaway
RANT: So fucking hungover, still drunk. RAVE: Best friend was in town last night. We got shit-show at a bar, and then carried on at my house. I have no idea when I went to bed. The girlfriend woke me up this morning because the alarm clock had no impact. RANT: Fuck me, I've got a conference call in 15 minutes, a major network upgrade at 4pm, and my weekly report that I still need to fucking write. I blew off the stupid EU marketing manager I was supposed to hand-hold for their Salesforce modification/discussion. Fuck her, she's retarded anyways. I'll handle it Monday. Rant/Rave: Entire bottle of Johnnie Walker Black - KIA Note: I'm not reckless (no... really...), no one notices this, I'm especially cleaned up and sharp looking this morning. All my important shit is handled. Pre-drunk me takes care of post-drunk me in the event of awesomeness occurring on a weeknight. It was great seeing my buddy. Really really great. I think the girlfriend is pissed because I abandoned her in the house, and just hung out with my buddy in the back yard all night. Whatever.
Rant: Its officially 90 inside the house, and I've called 2 repair companies to come out. The plan was to take the first that showed up, and cancel the other. Called them both before 11 am, neither has shown up despite saying they'd be here by 4. Now I'm likely going to have to pay extra for a night/weekend call. If they both show up at the same time, they can fight it out. On top of all that, there is literally no one to watch my daughter. Normally I'd have her spend the day with my mother in law so she isnt in this hot house, but they're out of town. My parents are already watching my niece and nephew, so they can't watch her. Fuck.
Rant: It's an unstated law of nature that the moment you goof off, your boss will be there to catch you doing it. Friday morning. Maintenance is done, I'd just finished a shitload of requisition paperwork. Sergeant and LCpls are watching some stupid video on Youtube. I'm at another computer watching another stupid video on Youtube. MSgt walks in unannounced, sees dipshits clustered around the computer. He then asks the sergeant, "Whatcha doing?" The sergeant lies. "Just showing them how to get to the shared drive, MSgt." All the other retards nod in agreement. MSgt (who is not an idiot) smiles and says, "I'm gonna give you one more chance." Sergeant, not wanting to admit he fucked up, lies to his face again. MSgt points to the door and says, "All of you. Get outside. Now." At that point, it had just started raining. In Yuma, that means that it's flash-flooding from sheer volume, humid as fuck, and is 95 degrees. Since it's Chuck Friday, everyone is in their service uniforms. Ouch. The MSgt then turns to me (who had quit out of Youtube the moment he walked in the door) and starts going on a rant about idiots doing stupid shit while at work. "I mean, I'm working. Everyone else should at least be doing something productive, right?" Rave? I felt guilty and said, "Actually, MSgt, I was also on Youtube." I then started walking toward the door to go join the rest of the idiots. "Hang on. I knew you were on Youtube... I was just checking to see if you'd lie to me. Is all your work done?" "Yes, just have to print off a couple things." "Good. Do it and go home. Shit's about to get stupid here." I'm currently in my barracks room enjoying a beer. The rest of the crew is currently out in the desert pulling weeds. In the rain. In their service uniforms. And they'll be doing it until Top gets tired. Moral of the story: Don't piss off someone who has complete control over your life, especially over something stupid.