Rant: The older I've gotten, the less I've actually enjoyed Christmas. I started to realize just how miserable most of my family is and how that comes out in spades during the holidays. Rave: The fiance's family isn't...and is actually a joy to be around during holidays. Go fucking figure. Hope that doesn't change. Two miserable families to deal with and I'll be buying stock in Makers and Jameson soon enough. Ultra Rave: I knew I proposed for a reason. She got me the cold air intake for my car that I had been looking at. Didn't even need to coerce her. Now, if she gets me the 1400 dollar exhaust for my birthday in March......that ring might magically grow by a carat or two.
Rant: Windows 8 can die in a fucking fire. I didn't think it was possible for me to hate an operating system more than Vista, but 8 is certainly proving me wrong so far. What a fuckstorm.
Rant: Fucking casuals ruin everything. Or, I should say that pandering to fucking casuals ruins everything.
RANT/RAVE/ IS THIS MY LIFE? Christmas Day, everyone at my parent's is having a good time and I'm skillfully avoiding my stepmother who takes issue with everything from my hair color ("It makes you look like a whore!") to my job ("You sit in front of a computer in your own home. I don't care if you supposedly get paid, it's not a real job!"). I walk into the kitchen to add more gin to my drink and find my older brother and his ex-baby mama standing by the sink. They're holding blister packs of pills and equal parts amused and scared I ask what it is. Without an ounce of shame, my brother answers: "It's allergy medication. If you take like 30 of them you get a pretty good buzz." There's a counter full of top shelf booze and out of 30 people, at least half of us have weed, but my brother's drug of choice is 99 cent a pack allergy medicine. Alright then. When I left about 2 hours later, they were standing in front of the Christmas tree, holding hands and swaying to what I choose to believe was a touching rendition of Kumbaya that only they could hear. I assume they're still alive today, but I haven't called to check.
Rant: My sweet, loving, beyond health-conscious 83 year old grandma has melanoma. Her doctor found the lesion on her scalp a week ago and she will have a 2 1/2" diameter chunk of skin removed next week. Not the kind of news I expected nor wanted to hear when we sat down for lunch today. This also scares the everloving shit out of me because the chances of me getting skin cancer too just jumped. If you're a person of faith, please include Norma in your prayers next week. Otherwise good vibes and juju works too. Rave: She has some great doctors (we hear), and she is still healthy enough to feed a dozen calves twice daily, etc. Ultimately I'm lucky to still have both of those grandparents after all of the shit they have been through on the farm anyways.
Rant: Eight hour drives home are fucking shit, thank fuck it's over. Rave? The Girl? gets back on the 5th so I can actually catch up with her and see why she wants to break up and figure out where it's headed. Rant: There would appear to be a white hair in my beard, not cool.
Rant: It's payday and 50% of my check is going to straight towards my wedding payments. I miss the days I got paid and could hit up Nordstrom.
Rant: Still haven't gotten The Dude anything for Hanukkah/Christmas. Why? Am I a dreadful procrastinator who couldn't save her own life on time? Well, yes. There's that. More importantly, though: he is goddamned picky motherfucker. So much stress and second-guessing and anxiety go into all of his gifts, and I'm just not feeling it this time around. Booze? Too generic. He hates DVDs. Can't buy him clothes, because he is insanely picky about what he wears and I still haven't figured out how he chooses one article of clothing over another. Kitchen minimalist, plus he owns everything he would ever want, so no appliances. No grilling stuff, he has that too. He hates cliche man gifts, so it's gotta be personal (no shaving shit, no videogames, no make-your-own anything kits). Doesn't need tools, doesn't want just any CSA, and his music tastes are so eclectic that I would fail miserably if I tried to spring for concert tickets. I am thisclose to getting him a motherfucking Amazon gift card and throwing it in his general direction. Rave: He's still in Hawaii, so I have some time. Like, two days. Rant: Unrelated, by Barnes&Noble's return policy blows. It's not my fault that my shitty relatives didn't include a receipt, and it's not their fault that I already own or do not want this book. Just let me return the fucking thing, damn it.
Rave Just booked tickets to see Def Leppard at the Hard Rock in April, fuck you Hysteria rocks and I have never seen a one armed drummer.
RAVE: Alone at home for the next 2 weeks. RAVE: Lots of booze here. Shouldn't need to go shopping soon, either. RANT: Most of it is white wine, which my mom is no longer allowed to drink for medical reasons. This means I have to drink it. I am not a wine fan. It all tastes like fermented grapes, which is, after all, what it is. I can't fathom how people enjoy this shit. RAVE: Disaronno and apple juice is REALLY good. Disaronno is an almond liqueur. I know it sounds disgusting but it really isn't. With apple juice, it's fucking fantastic. Shit, they even recommend mixing it with juice on the side of the bottle.
Rant: CRNA's can kiss my fucking dick. So instead of physically doing 2 simple changes that you feel are critical enough that you should bring it to my attention when I finally get a 15 min break.... you instead just kick back with your hands behind your head? Then when I come back you want to be smug and act like those 2 meaningless small changes are crucial with your magnanimous speech to me? Go fuck yourself. I swear I'm going to wreck fucking shop on all your smug profession when I'm done with residency and I'm your boss.
Rant: Yesterday suuuucked. We buried my grandmother in the morning. Given the situation, everything went well. My father and his siblings seemed to be fine, the ceremony was both well executed and brief, and the post-funeral reception went smoothly. But a funeral for someone who was an important part of your life, and more or less the bond that held an entire side of your family together is not much fun, no matter how well it goes. On top of that, the girl I've been dating, who is moving to another city in the immediate future, got super moody about our impending end last night. We ended up not going out with my friends last night as planned, and had an unpleasant, emotional conversation until 2 AM. So much for enjoying the last few days we'd have together. She's still asleep, and I am now sitting on the couch waiting for her to wake up so we can have No-fun Conversation Part II. Bleh.
RANT: Lost more hours because the cunt at job #1 (that being the one that fucked me over, therefore requiring me to get a second job and so on) did the new schedule early. Since I already had to work that day, I can't work the shift and she "can't" move me to a different shift. So, that's the better part of $100 gone because she couldn't communicate with me. The only reason I have yet to walk in there and scream until my lungs give out is because I can't find a replacement. Any positive reference can go up their ass as I don't trust them to give me a good one anyway. R/R: I had a conversation with a family friend at Christmas that helped me decide what I want to do. He did this program and now makes decent money working for a firm that fixes computers. Client calls, they fix, etc. he made it sound really great in that it's something new every day, and he's always learning something new. A constantly-changing, mentally-challenging environment is something I have desperately needed and desired. Problem is, the college by me doesn't seem to have an equivalent so much as three different programs that specialize parts of that degree. So living up here, I can learn to provide basic drone support from a desk/phone, OR build a network, OR specialize in security, but I can't do one program that allows me to be flexible in all three areas. If I do the program I want, I have to spend an extra 10k to live with a roommate on campus for a year, or live with my batshit insane "grab you by the front of your shirt/hold your wrists in a control attempt while I choke you on alcohol fumes and go on for twenty minutes about how you're my firstborn, I love you, want you to succeed" mother who does that shit EVERY. FUCKING. TIME. I see her. Who is about to become even more insane with her mother's impending death. On the positive side, I have yet to impregnate a woman who "can't get pregnant" and spend ten years loving my family before becoming a deadbeat father who can't even provide clothes or food for his underage children before leaving them to figure out school and life without the slightest bit of direction other than the warped view of the world I've bestowed upon them. TL;DR I'm likely going to go for the job that I want, at the cost of ruinous debt to get it. My parents are selfish idiots who had no business having children they couldn't properly care for, and I'm this close to calling them out on it at the cost of my dad getting pissed and my mom turning her entire family against me. Also would someone for the love of god PM me and tell me how to do the strikethrough function on text. Most forums use text that has a line through it. This one does not and this confuses me.
Rave: Accepted into culinary school. Rave: Weekend visit to said school to kick off spring break week in March. Hello New England! (any protips for an extra day or two in the Boston area would be appreciated) Rant: More tuiton.
RAVE: Mother-in-laws brain surgery went fairly well. Apparently the tumor was more massive than they thought, and the tumor was growing out of bone, which caused the surgery to go for 20 hours. Recovery is going well so far, she'll be sedated till tomorrow, and in the meantime the docs are pleased with her current progress RANT: My future father in law is driving me nuts. I realize he's under stress, but good God, I'm just ready for all of this to be over.
Rant: Laptop video card is fried. It's about four years old, so I kind of expected it. When I get back from deployment, I'll have to get a new one. I still have my tablet which will serve for the time being. I'll probably pick up the smallest alienware and customize it.