Rant: Woke up this morning with cunting tonsillitis. It fucking feels like I deepthroated Peter North and then gargled with chilli and battery acid. Over-the-counter painkillers thus far have proven to be as effective as pissing on a housefire. I wonder if there's anywhere I can score some morphine. Rant: Our neighbours are cowardly fucks. Apparently they had some complaints about the noise levels from our flat, but instead of letting us know by talking to us about it, posting a note through our door, banging on the wall, or, I dunno, hiring a medieval herald, they chose the most passive-aggressive and cuntish route possible and made a formal complaint to our landlord. Apparently we frequently engage in noisy activities "late at night" (late being, according to the official warning we received, 11pm). Said noisy activities include, apparently, talking (there are two of us in the house. We usually sit on the two couches in the living room, about five feet away from each other, so unless we're both deaf, this is bullshit), listening to loud music (we don't own a stereo), and, bizarrely, of all things, VACUUMING. I mean, seriously? Vacuuming? We're two guys in our mid-twenties. We didn't even have a vacuum for the first two months we lived here. I'm fairly certain we've vacuumed a grand total of 4 times in 6 months, and I highly doubt we went on a drunken midnight vacuuming spree. So in conclusion, our neighbours are cowardly fucks who might actually also be insane. Rave: Left the house earlier for three hours, left this on the TV for them to enjoy:
Rave finally manned up and bought a new laptop. Samsung series 5 notebook, worth it. Rant it's been a fucking bitter cold week..actually looking forward to a high of 39 degrees next Monday.
Rant: Our account/fleet/shop customers are really starting to drive me nuts. There are 5 people that you could talk to about order parts here. It really drives me nuts when i answer the phone and one of them starts talking to me asking me questions which I nothing about. They know who they talked too, but expect everyone to know what everyone else in the building is doing. It is really bad, when we are all busy the office lady answers the phone, they ask for parts, who ever is free answers the phone. And the person starts talking to them about stuff they don't know about, instead of asking for who ever they want right from the beginning.
Rant: Shitty day at work. You know it's a bad day when you call your husband and ask if you can quit. He said no because we can't afford it and he's right. I really wanted to walk out today though. Rave: The baby went to bed early tonight because she [rant:] didn't take a nap today. So I'm on my second glass of wine and I'm about to make myself shut off the tv and laptop so I can read. Rant: I've had a stupid cold all week. I lost my voice on Monday and I'm beginning to wonder if it will ever come back. Rave: Our HVAC guy finished the duct work and hooking up the furnace in the upstairs of the house we're remodeling. Rant: We had to write him a check today, holy shit that's expensive. Rant: The downstairs will cost about three times as much. Rave: We're finally making enough headway on the house that it feels like we might actually get to move in in the near future. After owning it for 5 years that's a really good feeling. Rave: E is starting to say phrases and learning more words by the minute. She's getting more fun all the time.
Rant: Torn medial meniscus, meeting with orthopedic surgeon on Monday. I've been told the recovery and ensuing rehab is lengthy and unpleasant. And of course it's the right leg which is kind of important for driving. I have no idea what I'm going to do about getting to work.
Rave- Had an awesome lastnight & happy day with my FAV person. RaVe- Get to see my all time, two favorite kids on the planet tomorrow!
Rave? Sitting at the doctor's minding my own business. Nice leather couch, no one else in the waiting room. Hear "GARY, STOP RIGHT THERE!" Look out the window to see a 6'6" mentally disabled dude in the parking lot. I blurt out "Ah shit." Guy/ogre walks in with his very large and very black handler, bee lines right for me. Sits down, puts his head on my shoulder, his hand on my arm, and just fucking stares at me. What the fuck? He wants cuddle, dammit. Holy christ he smelled like cheap hand soap and fresh poop. Handler practically picks him up by the scruff and places him on the other side of the couch... in the empty waiting room filled with comfortable furniture. Tardy sits there with very noticeable tourette's demanding to go home as his arms flail wildly every two seconds right near my face. Handler sits himself across the room, playing with his phone. Thanks, guy.
Rant: my gyro meat ended up not quite right. It isn't packed like a sausage, it is looser and kind of crumbly. It tastes awesome but that was a whole lot of work to have it end up sub-par. Rant: it ended up like this because I almost burned up my little food processor for 5 minutes getting it to the right consistancy. And since it took 5-7 minutes instead of 1 minute to blend, the meat warmed up. It needed to be cold. Which means....my $5 goodwill food processor that I got in college is about to shit the bed, so I need to upgrade...and powerful ones can be pricey.
Rant: Lost my fucking iPod last night somewhere. Hopefully at one of the two bars, probably left it in the cab. Just got the fucking thing a few weeks ago. SHIT. This icloud find my ipod thing isn't doing shiiiiiat. FUUUUUUCK!
Rave: Snowboarders stepped up this year holy shit. People are absolutely throwing down at winter x. Rant: Shut the fuck up about Shaun White, seriously.
Rave: Anniversary of sorts--the wife and I met 33 years ago today. I'm celebrating with narcotic painkillers and an ice pack and she's celebrating with a nap. Who says 50 ain't fun?
RAVE: HOLY FUCKING SHIT HARLAUT NOSE BUTTER TRIPLE??? Going underwear shopping today because I need all new ones after that.
How silly of me to think I could have a normal night out. Get home and basically have a fucking breakdown. Didn't go to work the next day because I was such a fucking mess, and now I'm probably in massive shit. Fuck you depression. Die in a fire you cunt.
Rant: My tonsillitis got progressively worse yesterday, to the point where I wasn't able to eat. It then became virtually too painful to drink and I ended up spitting into a bottle, because swallowing phlegm was fucking agonising. After a sleepless night, I finally caved and went to the hospital at around 5 in the morning. I had to sit on my ass for about two hours in their waiting Room, but I finally got to see a doctor. Unfortunately, because he was on call on a saturday night-shift, I assume his last 10 patients had been heroin addicts looking to score morphine, because despite my repeated insistence that over-the-counter painkillers weren't doing shit-all, he refused to prescribe me anything stronger. "Try paracatemol" my fucking ass, you useless quack, I've taken 12 fucking paracetamol in the last 8 hours, they did about as much fucking good as a goddamn egg sandwich. GIVE ME DRUGS. Sorta Rave: At least he prescribed me antibiotics, meaning that, after 24 further hours feeling like I'd been violently mouth-raped by a Facehugger, my symptoms have started to abate to the point that over-the-counter painkillers make them semi-manageable. Rant: Motherfucking Spartacus. Seriously, I don't get it. I'm exactly the kind of target audience for this show. I'm a twenty-something-year-old single guy who enjoyed 300. I love boobs, televised violence, and history, and think Gladiator is one of the greatest movies ever made. For God's sake, I'm a fucking ROMAN. And yet I absolutely LOATHE this show. It baffles me how people who enjoy the same type of movies and TV shows that I do can rave about how great it is. The plot is catastrophically bad, and plenty of the acting would look shitty in an independent Nollywood production, but fuck that, I can live with that - 300 had no real plot other than "Persians be dying, yo" and I think Schwarzenegger is a fine Thespian. That's not the problem. It's not even that it makes a travesty of history. The problem is that it's fucking HORRENDOUS. The costumes are a straight rip-off of "300" (why the hell do Thracian warriors wear no breastplates, other than because Gerard Butler and friends didn't) or plain make no fucking sense - like the Roman legionaries wearing nothing but armour and a short tunic in the middle of a fucking Balkan winter. The gore is pathetic - not because it's over the top, like I give a shit about that - but because it's excecuted so goddamn badly. The whole "CGI blood-splatters" thing is overplayed so completely it borders on the grotesque, and just looks pathetic. It's so over-the-top it borders on the farcical, and the same is also true for the nudity - I'm all for seeing a nice pair of boobs, but this is just softcore porn that serves no plot purpose whatsoever, if i wanted to look at boobs I'd go hit up Brazzers. Some of the fights are really well-coreographed, but then they'll ruin it by having some dude who got a paper cut bleed like his femoral artery's just been ripped out of his body. Seriously, fuck this fucking show.
Rave A biblical dry spell has just ended with a flood. Since Friday I've met a few different girls. I'm exhausted and confused. I made out with two friends tonight, I've never meet them before and I never met anyone at the party. I'm sure theres some drama that involves me, but I just don't give a fuck. I'm just the dimwitted nice guy caught in the middle and doesn't know it. Oh well. Not my problem.
Rant: It's "wintry mix"ing outside and our power has been threatening to go out. I have homework to finish and I don't know if our radiators rely on an electric pump to keep the house warm. Cross your fingers for me?