Rant: For the first time in my life I feel like the system is out to get me. Normally when bad shit happens I can pinpoint the source, but right now it seems life is just happening to me and I have zero control. I have no motivation right now to do anything, I should be out exploring the new country and doing shit. Rant: Haven't been to the gym in two weeks. I went today, changed, did my warmup and then just decided to say fuck I'd and walked out without doing my workout. This isn't helping. Rave: This new girl in my life seems to have taken a liking to me. Rant: If history is bound to repeat itself I'll sabotage the relationship before it even begins. This whole defeatist and attitude and feeling sorry for myself probably don't help.
Rave: My best friend and I had a falling out a while back, and we are on the path to repairing things.
Rant: Do you know what's worse than a toothache? Having a toothache while 33 weeks pregnant. Tylenol is the only thing I can take and it doesn't even touch the pain. Also, my dentist isn't sure he can do anything for me other than prescribe antibiotics until after the baby is born. For those of you keeping track, he'll be here 5 weeks from Friday. I'm currently waiting for the dentist to call me back. He had to get in touch with my OB before he would prescribe me anything. The worst part of all of this is that I haven't got more than 4 hours of sleep a night or been able to eat much of anything for the last 3 days. If I could just take a couple ibuprofen the pain would be bearable. Instead I'm a miserable, whiny mess. Tooth pain is the worst.
Rant: I think I'm getting dumber. I interviewed for a position today and by all rights should have knocked it out of the ballpark. I knew all the answers but instead of saying what I meant I floundered around, spewing meaningless politically correct word vomit for 30 minutes (and got called out on it). Looking at my posts here I can see my writing has gone downhill drastically. My grammar is horrible and I have trouble communicating the idea that's in my head into words. It's fucking weird. I've never had a problem like this and it's starting to worry me.
Rave: After 3(!) phone interviews with different people in a company I am interested in, I finally have a face to face interview on Tuesday! Rant: It's further away than my current job by about 20 minutes, and I also don't know if they can meet my salary requirements.
Rave: My great grandma turns 100 years old today. Rant/Rave: She has dementia and may not remember her birthday tomorrow, but she is still happy. Rant/Rave: My sister that just got married is moving to Cleveland (her husband's hometown) by the end of September. My brother in law grew tired of his job here and started looking, and got a couple of job offers that are great aside from requiring a move. I am happy for them and can only wish them the best, but dammit I will miss them.
Rant/rave? So it turns out I was the back up dude for the girl Ive been hanging out/hooking up with. She broke shit off tonight since she wants to get back with her ex who is recently single. If I was better at reading subtly I probably could have figured this out a lot earlier. Im between bummed and meh about it. I don't date or get into relationships hella often so it kind of stings knowing this girl wasn't really ever that into me. On the other hand she had a laundry list of issues that I can now avoid by not dating her AND she sexed me up pretty good for the time we did hang out.
Rant: Well, this was going to be a four day weekend. Was. Got the call that I'm on standby for the weekend wichh means I'll be standing by waiting for a phone call that won't come. The worst part was they were completely unclear if I could consume any alcohol this weekend, I just got the "Well in this case it isn't technically forbidden, but I wouldn't be the guy who is drunk if the phonecall comes." Sorry, I'm too old to play that game, I might have had to cancel my travel plans this weekend but I'm still getting drunk at least one day this weekend. I guess I should try and be productive too.
Rant: I don't know what the fuck is up with this week, but the entire planet seems to have conspired to piss me off every single day. Fuck this whole week. Thank God I'm leaving for a few days.
Rant: As God is my witness, if I hear that cunt say "we can't even TEST the cobalt in the water, we can barely SEE the cobalt in the water!" one more time, I'm going to punch her in the ovary.
Rave: Muay Thai is getting better. I'm better. Talk of fights as I get my weight under control. Rant/Rave:Cut out booze entirely this week and that experiment is going well. Weight is dropping again. I slipped into this thing with my SO where since she likes wine I drink it with her. It started splitting a bottle and then living in London with all of that stress it became two. That trend carried a bit when we moved. Without the stress I realize that it had become a habit and I don't like it. It also interferes with other goals. Rant: Because of that habit I have to adjust our time together when I'm done with work to spend time with her without drink being involved for me. This is causing unforeseen stress and I'm having to learn to relate being sober and she is having to learn that no matter how many times she asks, I don't want to drink right now. Muay Thai and my weight are more important. I'm 34. At best I have 2 years to do amateur fights and see what I'm made of. I can be drunk every night in my 40s.
RANT: It's my last night in this apartment. It's been awesome living downtown in my own place, but I think it's been a little too convenient. I have a pretty awesome man cave set up here, and I think I would turn in to a complete hermit if I stayed any longer. RAVE: Moving into a great place with a good friend of mine (who I've lived with before). It's not downtown, which means I won't have to go to bed to ambulance sirens and wake up to construction noises! And it has a balcony!
oh my god, oh my god. It is 3 am. I woke up to a sharp pain on the underside of my face. I brushed my face. It flicked off a roach. IT WAS A FUCKING ROACH. A ROACH BIT MY FACE. WHAT THE FUCK.
Rant: A friend of mine was diagnosed with Parkinson's at the age of 40. I hadn't heard from him in a while and found out he was moving. I texted him about it and he said his health was in a fast decline and his wife was feeling overwhelmed, so they sold and moved to the same street as her parents so she would have help. His hands are really stiff now and he can't really write and while he is still working (he works for his wife's parents) he will probably have to cut back next year. He was diagnosed a year ago and to see how quickly he is declining is depressing. He's tried everything from medication to more natural pills, as well as massages and acupuncture. My uncle has Parkinson's and is not doing well, and to think that is his future is tough. He has a 14-year-old and an 11-year-old. I don't even know what to say to him.
Rave: Got a job at the non profit I have been volunteering at, part time, which is perfect for school. Whew, I need a damn paycheck! Rant: Mr. P's mom has had a very severe reaction to the chemo. After a week in the hospital, her doc says they will not proceed with the chemo. We don't know what the other options are yet, if there are any at all. Fuck cancer.
Rave: My aunt is doing MUCH better. She's well enough that I was able to go out and get a job. RAVE: WooHoo! A Job! I start Tuesday. Rant: I have very little business attire left. I had to throw 90% of what I had away after it sat in my unattended house in Mississippi for 3 years.
Rave: We have about 45 days until we move. Rant: Holy shit. We have only about 45 days. There is so much we have to do to prepare for the move in relation to just normal household moving stuff, plus all the military paperwork and processes we have to work through look to be long and difficult. El husband can't even get the process started until Tuesday even though he got his veerp approved a week ago because he is currently on leave and cannot request terminal leave until he is back from leave. Then we can do the IPAC stuff, and you have to visit IPAC before you can do anything else. I am excited but kinda scared that we are going to fuck up somewhere big.