Rant & Rave Thread

Tired, angry rant ahead:

Spoiler

Rant: We're on a "vacation" visiting my wife's family in Detroit. We got one hotel room for all 3 of us.

When my wife brought up the idea, I told her it would be horrible. Our daughter is almost 2, and is very cognizant of things like where she lives and changes in scenery. I explained that there was no way our kid, with the way she is, will sleep in a hotel room, especially with us RIGHT THERE for her to call out too.

At home she sleeps great. We put her down, she calls out a couple of times, then when we're not there after 10 minutes she gives up and goes to sleep. My wife thinks this will translate to a hotel, despite the vastly different room, and us being in the same room.

My wife also says I am crazy and just making up excuses to not go because I am anti social and hate traveling (Not necessarily wrong, mind you, but it doesn't invalidate my reasons for not wanting to go).

I calmly explain to her that when you have kids, you make certain sacrifices. One of them is the idea of staying in a hotel with the kid between the ages of 2 and 5 or 6, because they'll freak out at the change of scenery and sleeping arrangements, and if mommy and daddy are right there, the kid won't sleep. Especially our kid, who calls out to us before going to sleep every single night.

Cue tonight. We've been trying to get this kid to sleep for the better part of the last 4 hours, to no avail. She didn't nap today (5 hour drive, she didn't sleep a wink), and is tired and cranky, but will not sleep. We put her down and went to the room next door (where her parents are staying), but that didn't work. 2 hours later, her parents had to go to bed, so now we can't leave our room. This means putting her down and us laying down, which resulted in 35 minutes of "mommy? Where are ooohh? Daddy? Where are oohh?"

Who ever could have seen this coming?

Now my wife is all pissy, because I had the unmitigated gall to get upset at a situation that I TOLD HER WAS GOING TO FUCKING HAPPEN! We're supposed to stay another night, but fuck that bullshit. I'm leaving as soon as the birthday party is over tomorrow, probably earlier, and going home with the kid. My wife can stay if she wants, and ride back with her parents, but I'm not putting up with this bullshit another night.

Rant: My wife wants to do this again this summer. For a week instead of just 2 nights. I've told her I think it's a bad idea but she still seemed insistent on going. After this, I am flat out refusing to go. I just don't see this ending without a big fight, because I'm sure she will still want to go, despite this experience.

I'm just going to tell her to go without me and the kid (it would be a trip with her parents), or she can go and bring the kid and deal with that headache herself, but I am flat out not going.

 

Double post? Nope, it is nearly 4 hours later and the kid still has not slept a wink. Not one second.

Now, I want to leave. Like, now. Right this fucking second. But my wife flat out refuses to let me, on the logic that I'm too tired to drive. I try to explain that with the kid the way she is, I won't be sleeping anyway, so I can drive now after being awake for (at the time we had this argument) 18 hours, or drive tomorrow after being awake for 24 or more. This logical argument alluded her, and now we're staying.

We are NOT having any more kids, that's for fucking sure.

 

Rave: Back home. Left as soon as we could from the birthday party. Drove straight through. I drove this time, made the 5 hour drive in just over 4 hours. My kid screamed "we're home!!!!!" When we pulled in the garage and began singing a Dora song about being home. Maybe my wife got that message: the kid hates to travel more than I do.

Rant: Came home to a cold house and a broken furnace. Yup, it's just that kind of weekend.

Rave: Despite being about as handy as a no-armed man, I was able to repair the furnace (just a dirty flame sensor, easy fix). It's a silly, stupidly easy fix, but after the weekend I've had I'll take any win I can get. I am also now completely and utterly shitfaced. I love autocorrect at the moment.

Rant/Rave? Left the baby monitor in the hotel room, so now we have two receivers but no base unit. I've wanted to be rid of the thing for a while, but my wife is still clinging to it a bit. Hoping this forces her to relent (the kid turns 2 in just over a week) to change, but it'll likely result in some headaches.

Triple post? Fuck it, I can't complain about this shit anyplace else or say anything about it on Facebook without her family thinking I am an asshole. Sorry, done venting for a while, hopefully.

 

Rave: Was on fire. Check that one off the bucket list.

Rant: Being on fire is actually super boring. Because of the protection, you can't hear, can barely see, and have limited mobility.

Rant: Turns out I'm allergic to the stunt gel that protects you from fire. That you cover your entire body with. Whats up crazy full body rash.

 

Rant: I'm at war with my table saw. Whoever the donkey dick was who my brother bought the thing from decided a table saw was plenty, no need for the rip fence or arbor wrench or anything. After a full-body workout I got the original blade off, but without the arbor wrench, I've seriously considered getting a new saw rather than try again getting the dado off anymore. DP a duck running, that nut is on there like ugly on a hyena's cunt.

Rant: Who knew finding a new arbor wrench would be like tracking down the Amber Room?

 

rant: Delayed gratification and discipline: until I am able to learn those two basic concepts my life will continue to be a sad heaping mess of failure, loneliness, and depression.

rant: I need to be in some intense therapy, but the thought of that is terrifying. Not the thought of telling someone all my bullshit, but figuring out the damn logistics of it all. My vehicle couldn't handle driving an hour each way for very long and I can't afford a new vehicle. I It's just one more thing that I would have to take care of on a list that already seems overwhelming.

Until then periodically posting cryptic woe is me bullshit on a message board is going to have to do.

 

Rave: Got the job I'd applied for with the biggest company in the world in its industry. While it's an entry level position that's an hourly salary, there's about 8-10 hours of overtime available a week and the bosses are really supportive of me coming into the company as a younger person, so they've already said they'll work with me on giving me time off to referee professional games.

Rave 2: I'll actually have a set schedule, which means my girlfriend and I will actually be able to have dinner together more than once a week.

Rant: It's 7-5 and about 60 minutes from my current apartment, so I have to wake up at about 5:30 every morning.

Rave 3: The job starts early enough that I, knock on wood, miss Atlanta rush hour most mornings.

 

Rave: Scored a few more goals in two games on Sunday and we won one and lost one game.

Rave: New entertainment unit and sound system.

Rave: Date on Sunday night went well and will be seeing more of her. Life is good right now.

 

Medical Rant: I'm going to China in a few weeks. In order to not contract something nasty while I'm there, I need the Typhoid vaccine, which apparently is on back order in every commercial pharmacy in the province of Ontario. So, I have to go to the travel clinic which carries an "emergency stock". But I can't take my doctor's prescription to them - I have to see the nurse at the travel clinic itself ($50 consult fee), then get the prescription filled at their pharmacy and pay for the nurse to administer it on-site ($50 administration fee). In order to do that, I have to have my doctor fax my immunization records to this clinic ($15 administrative fee) because whothefuckknowswhy. Maybe there's been a rush on people filling themselves full of Typherix and running around being immune. I can't possibly imagine why a doctor's prescription (which I took a morning off work to obtain) isn't sufficient for these asshats.

 

RANT: G-O-V-E-R-N-M-E-N-T B-U-R-E-A-U-C-R-A-C-Y

 

Rant: I hate doctors. I just don't trust them, it honestly just seems like they're making this all up as we go.

 

On my way home after taking an early day to meet the plumbers at the house to fix the broken sewer line that is in/around/under my house somewhere (my kitchen smells like an outhouse) Mrs. Noland calls and asks me to pick up the middle one because he is not feeling well. Fine, that'll give me someone to talk to while the plumbers are here.

On the way home he barfs in my car.

I want to be a single renter right now.

 

Rant/Rave (?): Made a huge decision regarding future shit a few days ago. Realised I was studying to get a degree I probably wouldn't use because the idea of me spending a day sitting behind a desk fills me with dread and loathing. I've decided to work on a book idea I had a few years ago, and I'm nervous as hell. I still have my job though, so hooray for that. For my book idea, I start learning Arabic in a few weeks. Holy shit.

Rave: No more uni cause fuck that shit.
Rant: Explaining to my family that I dropped out of uni to write a book..
Rave: Explaining to my family that I dropped out of uni to write a book 'cause fuck their unsupportive arses anyway.
Rave: Now have a reason to learn multiple languages, other than actually liking to learn them.

 

Ravt: Need to read this article. Can't focus on the article. Because of the picture.

 

Rant: We have been remodeling a house for 6 years.

Rave: Cabinets are getting installed today!

Rant: It will still probably be another month or two, minimum, until we can move in.

Rave: We could be in the house as soon as a month or so!

Rant: Did I mention that we've been at this for six god damn years?!

Rave: The end is in sight!

 

Rave: MiniMe (who isn't so mini anymore, I'm afraid) made a travel tournament team. Awesome. yay baseball. He wants to play and we don't over do it.

Rant: Two motherfucking THOUSAND DOLLARS for him to play this season. $2,000.00. Jesus. The team does fundraisers, so the parents don't have to foot the entire bill (Ideally), but goddamn. GODDAMN. There are 11 kids on the team, and each of them have to come up with that kind of money. The good news is that those funds pay for the uniforms, bags, helmets, cleats, everything like that, tourney registration, hotels etc. And for the weeklong tourney, if the boys have raised enough cash, it'll cover the families' hotel costs for that time.

But damn.

 

RAVE: Sounds like I'll be formally recieving an offer from a major Canadian charity to come on as a SQL Server DBA for them.

RAVE: Effectively a $30 000 raise

rant: Contract work, which kind of scares me.

RAVE: workforce is my age and is 75% female (where I am right now there are four women in the entire building and next youngest coworker is 13 years older than me

 

Rave: Came as close as I've ever come (and ever will again) to a threesome last weekend. Maine girls love Australian accents.

Rant: Did not have a threesome. For your amusement at my folly, here's how it briefly went down.

I went to a comedy show thing last Saturday night with a friend and had a few beers because who doesn't drink at comedy things? Especially because it was amateur improv. It was like 9:45pm when it finished and while I'm too fucking broke to leave the house this week, I had that itch to be social. The friend wasn't keen to go out so she dropped me home...I promptly turned right back around once her car was out of sight and walked to the bar.

"A quiet solo beer or two" turned into me sitting between two women, both mothers of kids older than 12, who were in their mid-30s. Ahhh, small towns. Neither of them looked any older than me either; in fact I thought they were both younger. One was married, the other was single (and halfway to hammered). The married one kept groping my arms and telling the single one she needed to go home with me. Sure, okay, cool.

So we leave the bar after last call (leaving the two male bartenders I know looking downright stunned) and we're out in the street huddled under an awning escaping the rain. I make out with the single one, then the married one asks her if I'm a good kisser, so I make out with the married one. Then they make out. All the while I'm thinking "fuck me this is my first only chance at a threesome".

They're thinking of driving home (I repeat, they're smashed) and I wouldn't hear of it...so they ask me to drive their car home. Fat fucking chance. I can barely drive on the left-hand side of the car and right-hand side of the road when I'm sober, let alone drunk. So I call a cab, tell them that I've got enough cab fare to get to my house (cabs only take cash here, which is not helpful or amusing), and they can come and "sleep on the floor" if they want, but I don't want them driving home. So they come home with me.

For reference: I've got a studio apartment not much bigger than the living room in any reasonably sized apartment anywhere, ever. So we get home, we're all sitting on the bed, taking turns making out, and I can't fucking believe it. The married one asks me if I have anything to drink (YEAH BECAUSE YOU GUYS NEED IT), and all I had was a bottle of red wine my dad had sent me for Christmas that I was saving for a nice occasion...well, this is as good as any. I poured her a glass, which she never touched. Married girl goes to the bathroom and the single one jumps me, but says it's not gonna happen with her friend here.

So we all end up getting into bed to go to sleep. The married one rolls over, the single one is between us and I'm on the other side. I'm pretty sure the married one was just trying to cover her ears and hope she didn't get knocked out of bed, but the single one couldn't go through with it. I've got my hands in her pants and she says "I want you to tear me apart, and I'll let you some other time, but I can't while she's laying next to me."

Sunday morning they get up at like 8 and go back to their car to drive home. You'd better believe I beat it like it owed me money four minutes after they were out the door. THREESOME FOILED.

Insult to injury rant: The single one apologized via text the next day, saying she "doesn't normally act like that", and said she just wants to be friends. Uh...yeah.