Rave: My mom finally got glasses. She's needed them for YEARS. She is now the owner of trifocals. The eye doc legitimately wanted to know how she got to his office. Rave: Feeling proud. Made a few pizzas for coworkers and the next day one of the kitchen guys pulled me aside. He told me that he's been cooking in kitchens a long time and that he knows talent when he sees it. He insists that I sign up for a cooking competition, namely, Top Chef, and that when I win it I take him with me to whatever kitchen hires me. I don't think I'm good enough to win a competition where people probably have had formal culinary training, but I love cooking, I'm pretty good at it, and I am always excited to try new things. It does make me consider jump starting a small catering biz on the side, though. I've wanted to do something like this for a long time but fear of financial failure is holding me back. I feel like maybe there is less risk with small scale and infrequent catering.
Rave: Got new roommates figured out. Two guys in their late 20s, one is a paramedic and the other works at a marketing firm. I think this will work out really well now. Rant/Rave: I stayed home over the weekend rather than go out and have fun, but now over half of my stuff in the basement (tools, hunting gear, etc) is moved over to the new place so my load for this week and especially next weekend is considerably lighter. Most of my other stuff is ready to go now too. Any anxiety over the move is gone now. Rant/Rave: I have to build a new workbench and shelves, etc. in the new basement shop, which will set me back some time, but I will finally get a workbench at the proper height for me. No more craning over stuff and making my back ache. Rant: I re-hemmed some pants over the weekend and gotta re-do it. I just discovered some screwed up stitching, after getting to work. Nice.
Rave: I did not leave the house this weekend which means I did not have to wear a bra for over 48 hours solid. Rant: Sometimes even the bestest Boss can be a dickhead. Way to ruin my blissfully braless weekend.
RANT: The cat is missing. Now I know some of you will think that's a good thing, but he was the best damn cat ever. He killed everything he could get his claws on, I was able to train him not to come in the garage or the house when the doors were open, and he was all black except for a tiny white patch under his chin. I used to regularly catch mice in the garage, but I haven't caught a single one since we got him. He played well with the dogs but he was about 10 times smarter than them. We haven't seen him since the night we saw the owl as we were coming up the driveway, and he's never been away from the house for more than a couple hours since we got him.
Rave: The first line of this quote. Rant: I did not get to see it and Shegirl damn well will not post the picture.
Rave: My daughter hasn't worn a diaper in 2 full days! We've had an accident or two but overall she is doing amazing. She's so stubborn we had to wait until she was completely ready and do this on her terms. I'm just glad she seems to be all about it now. Rave: I made salted caramel sauce from scratch today. That stuff is amazing and not nearly as hard to make as I thought it would be. Rant: I'm going to end up eating it all with a spoon before I can use it in a recipe or as a topping on anything. Rave: I never posted about our camping trip a few weekends ago. Everything went great, the kids were well behaved, my biscuits and gravy turned out really well, and we all had an awesome time.
RAVE: Leaving the casino $600 up (including drinks and everything). Just goes to show you, always bet $20 on green 00 after you get good and drunk. (Is there a gambling word for the green 00 spot? Snake eyes? Double green..? Whatever, I made $700 in 30 seconds, fuck you!) Seeing as how I've never been a huge fan of casinos and this was only the third one I've been in one, I'm pretty sure this puts me a few hundred in the black overall. Fuck the house!
Ravnt: I am incredibly productive when my husband is out of town. PS it is stupid that my 2 days off this week are days that he is out of town.
Rave: Drove all the way from Yuma to Portland in two days. Rave: Actually had a really pleasant drive. Rant / Rave: Radio is hilarious. On the way from Twentynine Palms to Los Angeles, I ended up tuning in to Resistance Radio, which was a bunch of college students simultaneously trying to sound like committed fanatic revolutionaries and whiny college students. I found myself laughing hysterically at the contrast between "The worldwide revolution is coming - anarchism will set us free" and "You know, these new bus fees are really annoying." The commentators having this discussion were perfect as well - the girl who had the upward inflection with everything, the stoner faux-Zen guy who talked about "oneness with the self and the community," the frothing-at-the-mouth punk revolutionary, and the whiny kid who had literally nothing but petty complaints. Two full hours of unintentional comedy gold. What the fuck is up with Christian radio? Northern CA had FOUR FUCKING CHRISTIAN STATIONS! NPR managed to have pretty much nothing good for my entire ride up, which was frustrating. They're hit-or-miss. Sometimes they have great programs, and other times it's a bunch of crap. Rave: Found a military base along the way that's even more boring than Yuma. There's a large Naval Air Station about halfway between Bakersfield and Fresno. I feel very, very bad for those people. Rave: Much of I-5 in Oregon is under construction right now, so there's a fair amount of one-lane road. I got stuck behind a tractor trailer going uphill at 40 miles per hour for about fifteen miles. No biggie; I'm not in a hurry. The brotacular idiot in a custom-painted Shelby Mustang behind me, however, was. Soon as two lanes opened up, Limp Bizkit floored it and went screaming past both of us. There was a highway patrol officer right there. Oops. Rave: Oregon is beautiful. Hills, trees, pastoral meadows / farmland, etc. It's nice. Rave: I found out from my grandparents that I have a massive amount of family up here. Rave: It got down to 50 degrees last night. For someone used to Yuma, this is fucking awesome. Rave: Everything is wonderful, and I refuse to hear anything negative about my new state.
Ravt: Buying a new (to me) vehicle for the first time in 18 years. I think two decades per vehicle is about all you can reasonably expect out of something, right? The options: - 2012 Hyundai Santa Fe, with three years of factory warranty on it. Loaded with a manual transmission! Those are difficult to find. - 2014 Ford Explorer, with two years of factory warranty. L-O-A-D-E-D. $$$ - 2010 Lexus RX350. Can purchase extended warranty. Decisions, decisions. And a car payment for the first time in fifteen years, so sadface over that.
Rant Got bored and started supergluing beer bottles together, yes I am a world class moron, I think got some on my fingers and grabbed a knife to unstick the beer bottles from the countertop because some of the glue had leaked onto the surface. Unfortunately for me, some of the superglue was on my hands to. Fucking sucked pealing the knife out of my hands. This is what happens when dumb people have too much time on their hands. Yes, I was dropped on my head when I was a kid, thanks for asking.
Rant: I am moving on Sunday and since my mom and sisters will all be out of town this weekend, they want me to spend time with my dad on Father's day. This is a rant because my mind and time outside of work have mostly been consumed by the move and I was planning on working all weekend, and on top of that I feel unsettled by the fact that I'm still feeling resistant to spending one on one time with my own fucking dad. I still become so defensive around him, I just can't relax and it's a real challenge to connect personally when we talk. I realize I am being pessimistic about what could be a good thing, since we could have a good day together, but history has repeated itself with us. Rant/Rave: Got stuck in the middle of a fun situation between my boss and an outside consultant yesterday, and I highly doubt I'll be making any moves towards that new marketing position now. Part of me is glad that my boss is motivated to keep me on the sales team and hopefully we'll be adjusting my position some, part of me doesn't trust anyone and questions if my boss is just taking advantage of me, but hey... I still have a job and all things considered it's still a good one. Rave: I've been able to pack up and move most of my stuff out of the basement already, which is awesome since it dramatically lightens my moving load for this weekend.
Rave: Broke things off with the guy I had been dating for the past few months because I started getting a bad feeling from him. Rant: I was right. That unleashed the crazy. I got 10 novel-length emails from him telling me what a terrible person I am throughout the course of yesterday. Yikes.
Rant / Rave: Oldest graduated last weekend. Considering 4 years ago, I wondered if that would ever happen, YAY. Family stuff is muddled. Sometimes, despite being family, people are fucking stupid. This is one of those times. Unrelated to stupid family - daughter is hell bent on moving out and moving on. She wants to go back to the city, and has job offers lined up. I can't fault her. Spoilered for wall o' text - but I wrote this for her back in March. Spoiler Insomnia does funny things. I'm laying here thinking about my daughter, and what is her last leg of high school, and thinking about all of the things I so want to tell her. All of the things I want her to know - so she's prepared for this vast unknown future laying ahead of her...but at the same time I don't want to rob her of any of the experiences she needs to have on her own, without my interference, so she can grow into the woman she's meant to be. High school is not the best years of your life. Not even close. Truthfully - your 20s suck too...but they're also fun. It's a time when you're supposed to be somewhat poor, trying to find your way, and making friends. They still suck. FYI. It gets better though. My thirties have been spectacular. I hope whatever life has in store - it's no rougher than it needs to be, and is kind enough that you can reflect fondly. You are not your looks. Don't neglect your looks though - respect yourself enough to take care of yourself. Sunscreen. Take care of your skin. You aren't too tired to wash the makeup off. Be selective of the people who get your time and your trust. Both are irreplaceable and once gone, irretrievably so. Invest in good underthings. Business casual sucks, but if your bra and panties match - you feel like superwoman. Speaking of bras - invest in good ones. Two good, well fitting bras are better than ten cheap, poorly constructed bras. Well applied makeup is about your face - not your makeup. Read non fiction books, on all subjects. Spend time with people whose opinions you enjoy hearing, even (perhaps even especially) if you disagree with them. Research your religious preference. And whatever it is - find arguments against it, as diligently as you study to support it. If you think I'll hate a boy you meet - you're probably right. And that feeling is called intuition - recognize it and recognize that in my eyes I see the mistake you're looking at making. Sometimes I'll protect you. Others I won't. But ... Always listen to your intuition. If the situation isn't right, pay attention to your gut. You are going to fail. If you don't, you aren't dreaming big enough. Failure doesn't define you. Quitting does. Statistically - there's going to come a time when I want you to know, you NEED to know, it's not your fault. You didn't ask for it. You didn't do this. You didn't deserve it. I hope and pray you beat the odds - but I'm so aware you likely won't. So remember that. And call me. Food, alcohol, drugs, and sex aren't the answer. Using any of them to feel better about something else in your life is going to open up a whole host of problems. You're going to get dumped. It happens. Be woman enough to recognize when it's time for you to do the dumping. Don't be cruel when you do it. Don't take any shit either. Good shoes hurt less, and are still sexy. Sex and relationships are complicated enough. Don't make it worse by playing stupid games. The best dates are the ones where you're both enjoying yourselves. Learn to do something physically challenging. Your body was meant to move. Heartbreak isn't forever. Neither is all love. Learn to cook - a full meal, a Thanksgiving dinner, and something on the fly. Baking is fun, but cooking is what provides. On the subject of sex - women are supposed to enjoy it too. Your body is not a tool to be used to acquire what you want. Don't fall into the trap of believing that just because someone will have sex with you means they actually like you. The heart and the penis are two entirely separate organs with entirely different goals. One values you for who you are, the other values you for what you've got. BOTH are valuable. Remember that. Don't give your body to someone you don't at least a little bit like. I am not foolish enough to believe you'll never have a one night stand...but remember the consequences - condoms are YOUR responsibility too. Don't waste your money on college until you have an idea of what you're going to use it for. Debt isn't fun - and unless you come out of it able to DO something - you're not going to have a lot to show. That doesn't mean don't go to college. It means don't be an idiot. Finally - there's a big wide world out of what you've seen so far. People and places and experiences neither of us have yet dreamt for you await. Don't expect your first love to last forever. And these high school, 20 year old boys who have such tortured souls? GTFO of here with that shit. They're going nowhere fast and they'll take you with them. You. Can't. Save. Anyone. Who. Won't. Help. Themselves. That lesson is a hard one and I went about learning it the hard way. So don't be stupid like me. If you can't envision someone in the life you want for yourself - move on and move up. Period. I love you. There is a finite lake of tomorrows waiting for your toes to dip in and test the waters. Swim safely, my love.
Rant: FutureWife is a week late and just told me this morning. We had sex while she was switching birth control pills and apparently that's a no-no. Fuck my life. Meh: Her being pregnant wouldn't be the biggest deal in the world I guess, just a little too early in our planning. And the fact that we'd have a 6-month old at our wedding and shit, which would be weird. But here's hoping her body's just messed up from the chemical change....
Most of the time when I cash at a poker tournament people talk about how lucky I got. Because, apparently, I am so much more blessed with luck than 95% of the other people. Again. And again. And again. It's goddamn annoying to have a honed skill be dismissed so casually.
Rant: I am really nervous for my sister. She and her husband and 3 young kids live in a shitty town in Ohio, where her husband works for his brother's computer engineering company. His brother and ex-wive own the company, she at 60%, he at 40% (supposedly to get woman company owner benefits, this was set up while they were still married). She is purposefully running the company into the ground. There is a lot of bad, fucked up shit going on. I am hoping it is easy for him to move into another job somewhere else. He is really good at what he does and that should be a very marketable skill, but the job market is shit right now and I am so worried for them. Not to mention that their house is still halfway being renovated. We might be having a roadtrip for the entire family to get up there and help her finish it so they can sell and move.
Rant: Probably nearing 30 e-mails now. I got another two while typing this up. Ranging from "I'm already fucking someone else" to "I miss you like a madman" to "You're gross" to "I loved you so much" to "Go fuck yourself." I don't understand how a man can get to 30 years old and not be able to handle getting dumped. Actually looking into restraining orders now. Rave: Tinder has been great. Single life is nice.
Rant: I must be hard hearted because the neediness of this renter is making me wish he'd take a hike. After that other email begging us for food (portabello mushrooms, among other things), he sends this email: What in the FUCK? Dude, you have hands. We supplied you with bags. You are fucking ridiculous. I told him to either get his room mate to help him or to spread them out in the yard and mulch them with the lawnmower. Which we also supplied. Also the gas for said lawnmower. I am off to pick up rent now. 12 days late. He is paying only half of what he owes. I understand some people have issues, but I feel like he is so neurotic because people feed into his bullshit. He is supposedly "brilliant" but had a mental breakdown or something.