Rant: I wish people tangentially involved in this company would stop dying. More to the point, I wish I wasn't getting a play-by-play of their death rattles right in front of my office door. I feel uncomfortable. Rave: Algonquin for the weekend. BRING ME BEARS.
Rant: I really do wish my dick worked after six drinks. It's not fair. Rave: Holding out (because I knew I was drunk and it wouldn't have worked) seems to have scored point with this new one. Rave: Sober Joe has some moves, and I plan on showing this one both of those moves in the next couple days. Then fuck it, who knows, I might google a third move. (This song fucking sucks, I just youtube'd "too close to the sun." Deal with it.)
RAVE: New Personal Record on the bicycle. 46 miles...at this rate a century before the end of summer looks doable. RANT: Had a wipe out crossing the last bridge before I turned around. As much as I'd like to blame it on avoiding the lady and her kid not paying attention at the end of the bridge, I should've picked a better line and not slide my front tire along the edge of a raised board. RANT pt2: Lady, the last thing I want to hear while patting myself down for injuries is your story about falling over on a tandem with your hubby.
Rant: donut shop was out of Old Fashionss (Best donut ever). Rave: friends are getting married, which means daddy's getting shitfaced tonight!
RAVE: Fully moved in with the girlfriend. It's been a month of us in the same place since 2012 and we haven't killed each other yet. RAVE: The apartment we picked is not only awesome, the all-in cost is cheaper than when when we were both on our own. There is a gorgeous roof deck, nice little gym, laundry machines that text you when you're done, cleaners, commissary and valet parking all in building. Also get a view of the lake and I'm 30 minutes closer to work! RAVE: Because of said move, I got us a new bed and negotiated down on it getting it for a great price. Not only is it great for sleeping on, but with the frame it puts it at that perfect height for standing sex positions. Way better than the $300 piece of shit I was sleeping on before for the last five years. Waking up so damn refreshed. RANT: We've spent a week having to politely yell at building management to get them to come in and fix shit they said they would. Couldn't move stuff into the closets for the first few days because they needed to replace some of the shelves, leaving our place in disarray. We can't move our bed into position as we're waiting on them to come paint touch up certain spots on the wall. RAVE: For the first time in my life at the age of 28 I have a dishwasher. RAVE: For my birthday girlfriend surprised me by taking me to the historic Pump Room. There's more but now I just sound like a kid that got a Nintendo for Christmas.
Rant: Passport applications. Where is your current employment for the last 2 years. Well that is fucking tricky. I am an ILWU member, who gets paid by the bcmea, who works at container terminal. So my pay stubs/t4 says bcmea, ok that is easy. Now where? ... do i put the address where i go to work every day or the address where my cheque comes from.
RAVE: My life is fucking awesome. RANT: There's no way to tell the story about my night without sounding like a liar.
Rant: Refrigerator broke while I was gone over the weekend, everything is thawed out and needs to be chucked. Rant: Family drama. I love my sister, but she never ever gives my parents a break with her chaos. She quit her job, is moving in with her boyfriend (who is a decent enough guy, thank god) and oh yeah, might (actually) be pregnant. I keep it in perspective though. As long as her cat scans are clean, the rest is gravy. Rave: Got promoted for the second time in a year, late Friday afternoon. I didn't really believe it but they sent the announcement email to the department this morning so I guess it's legit. More money, bigger bonus structure, and (truly) unlimited vacation days. Not bad.
Rant: I broke my hand yesterday, about 10 minutes before a wedding reception. Volunteered to go get the car for my girlfriend's friends while they waited outside the church during a rainstorm and I slipped while running down the sidewalk. Rant: It's my left hand and I'm right handed... except I jerk off with the left. Shit. Rave: It doesn't hurt much and I was able to get a compression wrap and brace on it right away, so it was a non-issue at the reception and I didn't draw much attention. Still had a great time.
Rant: Worst family trait that I posses with a vengeance: I hate having people think I am wrong when I know I am right. Longish, very pointless rant ahead Spoiler I hate being wrong. I want to prove I am right. It irks me to no end to be told I am wrong and not being able to prove on the spot that I am correct. Case in point: talking at the bar with a few people, including one regular, my boss, and a few other people. I made the statement that if you have hard, immobile lymph nodes that are swollen but do not hurt, you've probably got cancer. I was told nope, not true, and my boss threw out cat scratch fever. He said that you get a lot of inflamed lymph nodes all over that do not hurt. I basically couldn't prove my position and told him I'd do some reading because I'd never heard that. Did some reading. I am still correct. What I said is true, 98% of the time that is a classic cancer symptom, and secondly, cat scratch fever results in tender lymph nodes, not painless. Buuut by the time I get back to work it would be completely pointless and sad to bring it back up. I just hate being told I am wrong and basically an idiot because I am so completely wrong in my wrongness but I wasn't! Gah! I must share it with the world. I was right! I was right! I might have a real problem because I also sent an email to my sisters telling them about it. It's like if I can tell a bunch of people how right I was it will counteract being told I was a dummy before.
I learned in a big hurry how to use my left when I took a chunk out of my right index finger with a table saw 8 days ago. Rant: Yesterday I had hoped to have a nice quiet evening at home...until my brother got back from the bar with my sister-in-law and her mother, and said he decided to have a party with about 14 Colombians I didn't know after their win at the World Cup yesterday against...Mars? I have no fucking clue. He barges through the door, all "Hey AUUUUUUUGGGGGTHH! WOOOOOOO!!! Colombia won!! AAAAAAARRGH! WoOOOOO!" (Keep in mind he was born in New Jersey and our parents are a WASP and a Pole). About 30 minutes later our guests fill the entire street with their cars, my coffee table (in progress in the shop) is out on the deck being soaked with drink rings and having beer spilled on it, my brother's mother in law is shitfaced, and I'm sharing the rum I bought for myself with strangers. I passed out about 2 hours later. Bigger rant: I was full of Chinese food I'd ordered about 20 minutes before my brother came bellowing through the door, so about 3AM, when the booze and MSG smorgasbord decided they weren't going to be friends, I was mulling over sticking my finger down my throat so I could sleep, but more importantly my back teeth were floating. So I went to the guest bathroom and, to my shock and horror, someone had apparently gone to take a shit and didn't care that the seat was up, because a big portion of a turd was smeared on the rim of the toilet bowl, about 6 o'clock. I got one whiff of that and blaaaaarf!! Called Ralph 6 times on the porcelain phone. I wasn't about to clean that up either. Wasn't my shit, and I figured in the morning the guilty party would do the cleaning. I was right. And that leads me to the... Biggest rant: My brother's mother in law was most likely the culprit - she cleaned it up. But she did so with a paper towel that she just threw in the trash can. I know this because about 2 hours later I smell something godawful and find my brother's stupid fucking dog chewing on that shit covered paper towel batch behind the couch, and smearing it all over the tile with his paws. I pounded a few brushing chews down his neck and threw him outside. If he tries to lick me in the next few weeks I'm going to punch him like a dude who just insulted my mother.
Rave: Scotland is beautiful. A bit different than London and Dublin. The temperatures are in the 60's, which is a fucking Godsend after the 90's in Philly. The scenery is gorgeous. Went for a boat tour on the Firth of Forth, out to Inchcolm Island. There were seals out there. Really cool stuff. Rave: I'm never big on traveling, as I'm more of a homebody, but when I get to new places, I do quite well and have a hell of a time. Rave: Getting to tour Edinburgh Castle today. Rave: Playing Berwick on Thursday with my friend. I looked at the course today (online) and Holy Fuck, it will be difficult and a great test of my improving golf game. Rant: Can't find a fucking driving range within cab/walking distance, so playing Berwick cold on Thursday is going to be a bear for the first four or five holes until I warm up.
Rave: The right hand still works. Rave: My roommate the paramedic took a look and confirmed I broke a metacarpal. Since I can still move and flex my fingers and hand (no displacement), and am not in a lot of pain, he thinks a trip to the hospital would be unnecessary at this point.
Rave: 12 hour Drive yesterday wasn't bad (thank god for Dora and Mickey Mouse DVDs), and my daughter slept mostly through the night. She woke up once at 2:30 am, crying because she didn't recognize the room, but calmed down and went back to sleep eventually (after crying for me or my wife to hold her for 30 minutes, which I refused to do, because I can't let that habit get started). Rant: 105 heat index today, and my in-laws want to go to the water park, like pretty much every other person in this town today. Holy fuck will that be terrible. They must be out of their minds. I have no say in activities. Rave: They're on the boat right now, which I can't go on (horrid motion sickness), so I am relaxing, reading internet stuff, and starting a new book. THIS is my idea of a vacation.
Rave: Neighbors across the street are moving and wanted to take us out for dinner as a thank you for all the times we've watched their house, etc., while they were on vacation. Rant: So, we go to Fleming's, a (supposedly) upscale steak house. I like me some red meat and so order prime rib - sorry, only on Sunday. WTF? Okay, how about the dry-aged rib-eye? Sorry, we just ran out (at 7:30 p.m. on a Saturday). Alrighty then, give me the regular rib-eye - rare. Now, you'd think an up scale ($50.00 + per steak a la carte) steak house would know the difference between medium rare and rare. You'd think wrong. Oh, and it was the chewiest rib-eye I've ever had. It did taste fine. Small consolation, that. Of course, I relayed none of this to our hosts.
Rant: WTF? Olive oil, soy sauce, Tabasco and cans of kippers do not go in the fucking fridge. It's like I live with college freshmen sometimes. Rave: The abandoned Chihuahua my sister-in-law brought home yesterday turned out to be a really chill, easy going dog. It could be because she's creaky and geriatric, but I'll take her over my brother's scratch-n-dent disobedient mutt and future boat anchor. Rave: I think Franconia Amber is my new favorite beer. Best I've had in as long as I can remember that doesn't cost $12 a pint.
Rant: Had to put the dog down today. RIP my sweet girl. Rant: It's only Monday, what other bullshit is this week going to throw at me?
Fucking rant. Goddammit, how is it possible that my timing with literally every woman I meet be so absurdly, horrendously terrible? The fuck did I do? Was it that squirrel I shot when I was a boy? Did I cut off Jesus while driving? Rant/rave. She is quite literally the perfect one for me, but that fucking life clock decided to bend me over and have its way with me... Im so fucking sick of this.
Rant Having a legitmate panic attack that came out of nowhere. Its been a while since I've had one of these, forgot how much they suck. To make it go away I can either do breathing exercises or take medication, hard choice.
Rant: Nothing like being woken up out of a deep and naked sleep at 12:39 AM to fix something, only to have it be a network issue that I have no control over. Fuck this shit.