Rave: My sister-in-law's family of Colombian rubes and my brother are out of town all weekend to visit San Antonio. The house is as it should be - peaceful, quiet, without a word of Spanish spoken, not a single fucking goddamn cocksucking piece of shit second of soccer to be heard in any language, nothing going in the fridge that shouldn't (found a fortune cookie in there the other day), full of alcohol with nobody to mooch any of it, and the A/C at a normal temperature without adults claiming it's too cold but incapable of putting on long sleeves.
ETA: Rant: I need this finger to hurry up and heal so I can wash the dishes again - because apparently nobody else in this house can pull it off competently. I just went through the cupboard for a bowl to put salsa in and every bowl and saucer either wasn't allowed to dry before it was put away or was covered with dried pieces of food. I put them all in the sink to be done right when everybody comes back - my sister-in-law is a fucking au pair, how does she not know to soak food-covered dishes before washing them? I do believe I'm going to help myself to the rum they left here.
Rant: Wanna piss me off? Tell me the piece of equipment I spent $85,000 on is going to show up on Tuesday morning, then when I call you on Tuesday afternoon wondering where it is, you tell me it's scheduled to ship out next Monday. Wrong answer, motherfucker.
Rave: Ha, suck it pain. You were my bitch today! Ran it anyway, mother effers. Rant: Have to find another exercise besides running for the next 6 weeks.
Rant: I see Anthony of Opie & Anthony got fired for calling a cunt a cunt on Twitter. And America takes one more step on that slippery slope towards being a giant Sarlac pussy version of its former self. Happy 4th of July! We'll miss you, freedom of speech!
Rant: my left knee just seems to keep getting worse. I would really like to get to the skinny part of this weight loss shit so my joins will feel better. Rave: longest run yet.
Rave: On the train from Edinburgh to London, King's Cross. I love traveling by train. We're also in First Class, because I'm so classy. Had some coffee, browsing the internet on free wifi, and will be in London 4 p.m., or 11 a.m. EDT. Watching the countryside roll by is fantastic.
Rave: It's really nice when people notice your hard work. We've been working really hard to get this property and house into shape. We live in a little wooden house on a 1 acre lot that really was not cared for much at all since it has been used as a rental house for the past 25 years. The neighbor across the street, who I have never met and only seen pulling in/out of their driveway, called my mom to ask if I was her daughter and if we wanted to come pick some blueberries on their property. Hell yes! Once my mom fessed up that I am in fact her daughter, she gave me a couple really nice compliments. One, that I have the most obedient dog she has ever seen in her life, and two, that we are doing an awesome job making the place look nice (and then listed off a bunch of stuff that she noticed we did). To be honest I am way prouder that she noticed how awesome our dog is. Buddy is the best doggie friend in the world and I love it when people offer up positive opinions of him, unprompted.
Rant: Dropped my car keys down an elevator shaft. Tried carrying too many things into the elevator and heard something metallic drop... five stories. Fuck.
Rave: Found a karaoke bar that's less than ten minutes from my house. Rant: It's a fucking dive. As in, "worse than the dive bars I went to in Yuma." That's an achievement. Rave: Drinks are cheap-cheap. I bought my girlfriend a margarita and drank a bunch of Widmer Brothers, and the bill was under $20. Rant: Got stuck sitting next to a drunk nutball who filled my ear with conspiracy theories about the Federal Reserve, banks, police, and his amateur interpretations of the Constitution. He made the guess that I was former military and then blathered on about how he "was going to join, but my buddy had a criminal record, and I told them that if he wasn't good enough for them, that I wasn't good enough either." I let him talk because I had one more song to sing before I was getting out of there, and I didn't feel like getting into a confrontation to save myself from five minutes of stupid.
Rant I work for a small bike shop in Colorado. I'm a mechanic, you won't see me on the sales floor unless someone told me to go help. Apparently I pissed off the wrong person today because one of my bosses gave me a floor pump and told me to go check the air pressure of every tire and fill every one that needed to be filled. No one was allowed to help. Took me two hours. Fucking sucked. The cherry is later that boss went and looked at the bikes and if the tire wasn't filled enough I had to go fix it.
RAVE Life is good. Currently posting from a rooftop bar in Melbourne on a sunny day (for Melbourne's standards) while the GF gets a massage. She'll text me in an hour or so to let me know that she's back in our hotel room waiting for me in a trench coat and heels. RAVE This is the 4-5th time I've been to Melbourne, but I feel like it's the first time I've properly explored it. Some great lane way cafés, and we've checked out a shit ton of awesome bars. Dinner last night at this Asian fusion place was incredible. RANT Lost $200 on the Blackjack tables last night.
Rave: One of my older sisters is now pregnant. Holy shit. She got married last August so this is no surprise and everyone is super happy. I'm still processing the prospect of one of my siblings becoming a parent next year. Now I get to be the fun uncle too, in the firearms and explosives sort of way.
Rant: Snapped my ankle. On crutches. I have the Spartan race this Saturday that I've been training for. So much for that. Of course this happens right before the god damn race. And before my vacation, which begins after the weekend.
Rant: I've been the fat kid at the gym getting the amused smirks from the fitness freaks for the last 2 weeks. Rave: Pants fit a bit better already!
Rave: Man the contact at this client I've been working on for months never smiled, never smirked, or chucked, or anything until this morning. He made a joke and laughed. Then I reciprocated and he laughed heartily. I was a bit startled and shaken. It was like seeing your dad cry for the first and realizing he's a human being. If I smoked I'd need a cigarette right about now.
Rave: wife & I Broke the (almost) month-long dry spell last night. Rant: infrequent sex & birthing our son has made things uncomfortable for her during sex lately. Rave: she pulls out all the tricks I like when I'm taking too long to make things go faster. Like a kiddo in a candy shop. Rant: (almost) a month's worth of backed up sperm. So much sperm. Rave: did I mention the sex?
Rant: The communication between my wife and mother in law is abysmal. My wife specifically gave MIL a calendar of days and times to watch my daughter, and they both agreed too it. Should be easy. Except last night my wife calls her mom to say "hey, D26 wanted to mow the lawn (note: she and I never discussed this and I never said I wanted to mow the lawn), so can he drop off kid earlier?" MIL: when? Wife: garble garble MIL: garble? Garble! That is the only way this makes sense to me, because wife told me today to call her mom about dropping kid off at noon. I said why and she said so I can mow the lawn. Oooookay. I call MIL and she says I can drop kid off at 4, leaving me no time before football. I ask about dropping her earlier and MIL says "oh yeah. So you'll drop her off at noon, get her at 2, and bring her back at 4?" It took a 20 minute phone call to reach this point. No. This is officially fucking stupid. I'll drop her off at 4. Seriously, why can't this shit be easy? This should be SO easy. I appreciate them watching my kid for free, but Christ how is my wife and MIL's communication SO bad? Rave: Kid had been sick, but she woke up without a fever and has been her usual playful, fun, singing self. She is a walking ball of entertainment, she is constantly singing or dancing or doing "magic" and telling jokes. It's kind of awesome. Rant: My wife has been stricken with morning sickness since we got back from vacation. Mind you, no vomiting, but she has been very nauseous, so I've basically been a single parent since Friday. When I went back to work yesterday my wife was PISSED she had to watch the kid while nauseous, but she managed. But pregnancy sucks, so I can deal with the inconveniences of being a borderline single dad. Rave: Football season is upon us. Lots of time, but it's been shockingly fun, and I'm looking forward to this season a lot. I much prefer fall/winter to spring/summer, so I'm actually getting to the part of the year I like.
RANT: A white trash douchebag tried to start a fight with me at Chicago's dog friendly beach yesterday. I went with my friend and her dog and we were minding out own business when her dog trotted over and started trying to munch on some french fries behind some people eating on a blanket. Apparently a dog smelled food and ran over, and trying to shoo it away, food got scattered and spilled behind their area. Instead of doing the responsible thing and picking it up, they just left it, a few feet away, even as dogs were coming over. Well my friend went to get her dog away and mentioned something about how you're not supposed to have food on the beach for that reason. Dude shot back that people should control their dogs and not let them run through picnics. She probably should have let it go, but she said something about it being rude and he got pretty testy. Mind you, as she was picking up the fries, he just smushed and kicked sand on some of them, like it would matter to a dog. They went back and forth for a minute and then she walked back over, I figured it was done. Mind you, I'd said nothing, didn't even walk over to this point. She comes back and bitches a bit and I told her under my breath that he clearly wasn't very bright and to let it go. Not that he heard me actually say anything, but hears my voice for the first time, and immediately wheels around and starts cussing me out. "Lets go motherfucker. I'll beat the shit out of your punk ass." "Look at me you fucking pussy, I break your fucking jaw." "Say something to me now you little cunt." I never looked at him, didn't engage him, played with her dog and slowly walked away, as I heard him coming towards me, getting more heated, and only stopping cause his wife/baby mama yelled at him to stop. Yes, he was with her AND HIS SMALL TODDLER. Threatening to fight someone who never engaged him, at a crowded dog beach at 7 PM on a Tuesday evening, with dogs and multiple other children around. I got that shaky part anger/part WTF/part fear feeling when you don't know what the fuck an idiot like this is gonna do. Best part, he was a scrawny 6' tall dude, so not imposing, with FULL ANGEL WINGS tattooed across his back and over his shoulders with no other tattoos. Clearly he was the angel of death. And he and his mini family didnt even have a dog with them. 50-100 yards away is the fence/gate separating it from a normal beach, but they chose to sit and eat in an area with 50 dogs running around. What a piece of moronic shit.