Adult Content Warning

This community may contain adult content that is not suitable for minors. By closing this dialog box or continuing to navigate this site, you certify that you are 18 years of age and consent to view adult content.

Recent Movie Review Thread

Discussion in 'Pop Culture Board' started by atcmh, Oct 19, 2009.

  1. Nettdata

    Nettdata
    Expand Collapse
    Mr. Toast

    Reputation:
    2,991
    Joined:
    Feb 14, 2006
    Messages:
    26,567
    I think they are called Tig welds.
     
  2. Binary

    Binary
    Expand Collapse
    Emotionally Jaded

    Reputation:
    432
    Joined:
    Oct 21, 2009
    Messages:
    4,268
    I'm generally fine with a sketchy story line that exists only to string together an entertaining movie, but Army of the Dead was distractingly bad in its story/plot holes.

    I feel like they could have edited together a shorter movie that cut a lot of the stupid parts of the plot, but Jesus Christ a lot of it was dumb. And not dumb in a "hilariously bad B-movie" type of way, just in a ridiculous, "why did anyone think this was a good idea?" kind of way. Nearly every character involved is so mentally handicapped that I'd be surprised if they could brush their teeth without poking themselves in the eye. Sub-plots are introduced and ignored, or introduced and resolved immediately. Random items were sprinkled into the background or side stories that made no sense. E.g.
    The casino chase scene had robot zombies? Why? Where did they come from?

    And if the reason is because the thing was too cool/interesting/funny to leave out, why not just feature it?

    Main plot points often made no fucking sense at all. E.g.
    Why do they want the queen zombie's head? It's been established that all she can do is create more shamblers. Which, you know, a bite from literally any other zombie does.

    I guess it just didn't hit the sweet spot for me. Too much eyerolling and the zombie murder sequences weren't sufficiently impressive to overcome it.
     
  3. Rush-O-Matic

    Rush-O-Matic
    Expand Collapse
    Emotionally Jaded

    Reputation:
    1,363
    Joined:
    Nov 11, 2009
    Messages:
    12,570
    Totally agree. I mean the zombies can
    have sex and reproduce (yay, zombie fetus held high!), the alpha can figure out wearing an iron mask stops bullets, and they can ride zombie horses . . . and they choose to stay inside the container walls, and didn't have enough sense to get out of the sun?

    And, I guess the vault
    protected the dude from the nuke, but I don't think I understand how radiation works, since he just walked out of there.
     
  4. Binary

    Binary
    Expand Collapse
    Emotionally Jaded

    Reputation:
    432
    Joined:
    Oct 21, 2009
    Messages:
    4,268
    I thought the iron mask thing was hilarious. A metal mask makes him invincible. I mean, nevermind that the squad has machine guns and fucking RPGs, and that zombies are still constrained by basic physical laws like, "no legs = no walking," or that these guys can all headshot moving targets with a pistol, on the run, from a hundred yards away, but can't hit an eye with a sighted automatic rifle from inside fifteen feet. Nope, if you can't land a single bullet in the middle of his forehead, there's nothing they can do. Pack it up, folks, they solved the one weakness.

    The vault thing was stupid for so many reasons. He's apparently invulnerable to radiation, but I guess they also dropped the nuke and shrugged, figuring, "probably everything is dead now." Anything that survived is fine to just walk right out of the city, we won't watch it because there's definitely no way a zombie managed to survive the one bomb.

    Just an aggravatingly bad movie plot. "Why would he possibly go into that basement" is a path to a funny cheesy movie. "90% of the world only exists as selectively-applied plot devices" is just bad writing.
     
  5. GcDiaz

    GcDiaz
    Expand Collapse
    Emotionally Jaded

    Reputation:
    105
    Joined:
    Nov 10, 2009
    Messages:
    1,545
    I will bet you ONE American dollar that they weren't robots at all and it was just a reference to WWZ, where they talk about the incendiary rounds making the zombie eyes light up.
     
  6. Binary

    Binary
    Expand Collapse
    Emotionally Jaded

    Reputation:
    432
    Joined:
    Oct 21, 2009
    Messages:
    4,268
    Please Paypal me one American dollar.
     
  7. Crown Royal

    Crown Royal
    Expand Collapse
    Just call me Topher

    Reputation:
    978
    Joined:
    Oct 31, 2009
    Messages:
    23,057
    Location:
    London, Ontario
    You can see one with glowing blue eyes all on its own before it’s been shot, like a wight from GoT. I thought their eyes glowed blue in the dark, then I realized that no, they were completely different. They were mechanical inside when they were shot.
     
  8. bewildered

    bewildered
    Expand Collapse
    Deeply satisfied pooper

    Reputation:
    1,312
    Joined:
    Oct 26, 2009
    Messages:
    11,234
    The scariest part of Army of the Dead was when I thought my newish 4k TV had a dead pixel.
     
  9. Nettdata

    Nettdata
    Expand Collapse
    Mr. Toast

    Reputation:
    2,991
    Joined:
    Feb 14, 2006
    Messages:
    26,567
    That would actually be a pretty hilarious prank for someone like Netflix to pull on April Fools or something... just randomly pick something someone is watching, make a "crack" sound over it, and then show some dead streaks in the glass for the entire Neflix experience. Of course once you got out of Netflix, everything is back to normal... because they can't control that.
     
  10. Rush-O-Matic

    Rush-O-Matic
    Expand Collapse
    Emotionally Jaded

    Reputation:
    1,363
    Joined:
    Nov 11, 2009
    Messages:
    12,570
    In The Heights
    It was just okay, but definitely worth watching if you like musicals. It was too long. I think LMM's attachment to the songs kept him from letting an editor do what was necessary to make it a better film. Unlike Hamilton, they didn't just film stage performance. They made a movie, and it should have been treated like one in the editing room. I thought the dialogue-into-song transitions were often clunky.

    The positives are the music and the dancing. The songs are good, though they didn't quite have the polish that Miranda showed later in Hamilton. You definitely want to move your hips while watching, as the Latin beat and horns are infectious. Plus, holy crap, Melissa Barrera is freaking gorgeous in a bikini, and the outfits showed off her sexy midriff plenty.

    The culture and things like illegal immigrants trying to get green cards isn't my story, so I didn't connect with that very much. But, it didn't bother me or seem to heavy-handed.
     
  11. Aetius

    Aetius
    Expand Collapse
    Emotionally Jaded

    Reputation:
    836
    Joined:
    Oct 19, 2009
    Messages:
    9,054
    Good on Paper

    Iliza Shlesinger turns a 7 minute stand stand-up routine from "This Isn't Happening" into a 90 minute "based on a true story" feature. At 7 minutes it's a tight set that's well worth watching. At 90 minutes it drags and needs a fictionalized ending to pay off the time debt it incurs getting you to the end, and doesn't land it. Stick with the routine.

    4/10
     
  12. joule_thief

    joule_thief
    Expand Collapse
    Emotionally Jaded

    Reputation:
    62
    Joined:
    Mar 1, 2010
    Messages:
    611
    Location:
    Austin, TX
    The Tomorrow War is a decent popcorn movie, if a bit predictable. Figure Aliens meets World War Z and throw in some time travel.

    Pratt was decent, but in my opinion, played a similar character as he did in Jurassic World. I think Yvonne Strahovski's character was played well, but written a bit flat. My favorite was J. K. Simmons.

    What I thought was predictable:
    As soon as they pointed out the kid that was obsessed with volcanoes, it seemed pretty obvious that factoid would come into play, although I figured that would be how our heroes killed the monsters instead of how to go about locating them.

    When J.K. Simmons's character was introduced, they made a point to call out the C-130 and that came into play as well.

    Like Aliens, it was also funny to see those in charge not listen to the people that know what was going on and then taking credit for the victory.

    7.5/10
     
  13. Crown Royal

    Crown Royal
    Expand Collapse
    Just call me Topher

    Reputation:
    978
    Joined:
    Oct 31, 2009
    Messages:
    23,057
    Location:
    London, Ontario
    Wow. Giving that dreck anything above a “zero” in generous. Fuck Iliza Schlesinger, fuck her shitty stand-up, fuck her rich parents who keep throwing money at her career, and fuck whoever keeps throwing her contracts for specials, shows and movies—- All which have been nothing less than utterly unfunny garbage.

    She sucks, she is bad at comedy, I don’t know why people see this Laugh Factory tablescrap as some sort of star.
     
  14. Kubla Kahn

    Kubla Kahn
    Expand Collapse
    Emotionally Jaded

    Reputation:
    730
    Joined:
    Oct 19, 2009
    Messages:
    11,543

    Sad, such a crazy premise. This is one of those, sometimes reality is scarier than fiction, incidents. It could easily be done as a horror ala Get Out.
     
  15. Aetius

    Aetius
    Expand Collapse
    Emotionally Jaded

    Reputation:
    836
    Joined:
    Oct 19, 2009
    Messages:
    9,054
    I think the problem is that the true story is much more pathetic than it is scary; it's ultimately a guy who wishes he was something he's not. If they wanted to go the horror route they'd have to throw out almost everything except the bare premise, at which point you're basically just remaking Gaslight or Catfish, so why do you need Shlesinger's story at all?
     
  16. GcDiaz

    GcDiaz
    Expand Collapse
    Emotionally Jaded

    Reputation:
    105
    Joined:
    Nov 10, 2009
    Messages:
    1,545
    Because she's hot.
     
  17. Crown Royal

    Crown Royal
    Expand Collapse
    Just call me Topher

    Reputation:
    978
    Joined:
    Oct 31, 2009
    Messages:
    23,057
    Location:
    London, Ontario
    Nah, not really. Guys think she’s hot because of the lack of attraction when it comes to female comics. She’s Office-Hot at best. And the fact that she’s a fucking piece of shit to other female comics (who are far funnier than her) makes it even less. I think she’s a clinical narcissist. They keep trying to give her clout and she’s the last type of person who should have it.

    however, your point stands. Her being “hot” allows her to float like a feather and prevent people from calling her out, something she’s been used to since birth.
     
    #1237 Crown Royal, Jul 5, 2021
    Last edited: Jul 5, 2021
  18. Binary

    Binary
    Expand Collapse
    Emotionally Jaded

    Reputation:
    432
    Joined:
    Oct 21, 2009
    Messages:
    4,268
    I think rating The Tomorrow War at a 7.5 must be grading on a curve. It's definitely a 7.5 in, "movies that work if you shut your brain off and don't take them seriously at all." Which is a totally fine genre of movie, and frankly I enjoyed it while I was watching.

    But it's dumb. Really dumb. Between the plot holes you could fly an alien spaceship through and the hamfisted way they treated... well, everything...

    I'm pretty sure they started with, "hey, I have a cool monster design," and constructed everything from there. I liked the monster design, the movie was entertaining enough that it didn't feel long or unwieldy. Chris Pratt stars as Himself. Just make sure you turn off your brain before you press play, because the stupidity will drive you nuts otherwise.
     
  19. Rush-O-Matic

    Rush-O-Matic
    Expand Collapse
    Emotionally Jaded

    Reputation:
    1,363
    Joined:
    Nov 11, 2009
    Messages:
    12,570
    I agree with everything you wrote, and will add the "not as bad as I thought it was going to be." When, I saw the trailer, I literally laughed out loud because it looked so stupid. But, for just dumb entertainment, it was aight.
     
  20. joule_thief

    joule_thief
    Expand Collapse
    Emotionally Jaded

    Reputation:
    62
    Joined:
    Mar 1, 2010
    Messages:
    611
    Location:
    Austin, TX
    After a few days and thinking on it more, I agree. Especially with things like the weapons they chose. And, is it just me, or would you have wired the alien ship to blow up before injecting any of them?