RIP Anthony Bourdain (aka Hello Darkness, My Old Friend)

Guess who's back....back again.

This topic brought me out of lurking because its so important. I like the analogy of the Siren on the Rocks, and used it as inspiration to write a piece for The Mighty, which has published my writings numerous times.

I think we need to allow people to feel comfortable talking about suicidal ideation if they are experiencing it. A person experiencing these thoughts feels compelled to bury them and down there they fester and rot and become more powerful. On the surface others may see something is wrong, but because the conversation may be frightening, it is often avoided.

We need to bring this topic out of the weeds, we need to empower those suffering to speak about their experiences. I suffered from suicidal ideation and self harm. I thought no one could or would understand me so I never brought it up. It wasn't until my family was ready to commit me for my own safety that I finally agreed to see a therapist. Therapy taught me so much. Like Rush said, some people aren't blessed with great skills in every area of life. I wasn't skilled in dealing with people so that drove my depression and my erratic job history. Therapy allowed me to learn new skills to improve my relationships. Therapy has helped me so much.

In the past, I was always fighting with someone, complaining to my family about who pissed me off and whats wrong. Now, I can't remember the last time I had a fight with someone. Therapy has brought me that far.

Suicide is frightening to talk about. Its frightening to hear that a friend is experiencing these thoughts. But if this is frightening for you, image what they are going through and must be experiencing to even consider this as their only option. We need to train people to become more skilled and supportive listeners. If someone talks to you about suicide, remember, you're not there to fix them, you're there to listen. Often just allowing a person to speak can be a great comfort for someone suffering.

With all that said, I still see a therapist. I'm still struggling with thoughts of self-harm from time to time and being in Minneapolis, still struggle with loneliness. I'm still working on developing my interpersonal skills. Whats great about my therapist is if I am getting ready to self-harm or ruminating with those thoughts, she encourages me to call her. For someone with these thoughts like me, they don't seem weird, but they are dangerous and can't be allowed to fester.

Having her on call has been a great relief for me and my family. No more games when it comes to my mental health. Its being confronted and treated for what it is, a physiological problem with my brain that is being treated though building interpersonal relationships and rewiring it in a positive way.