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Sex Tips and Tricks

Discussion in 'General Discussion' started by Nom Chompsky, May 17, 2012.

  1. lust4life

    lust4life
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    Emotionally Jaded

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    Proper inflation.
     
  2. TX.

    TX.
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    The Mad Pooper

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    Sorry, nom. If it isn't big, black and veiny, I don't want any part of it.
     
  3. Allord

    Allord
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    Disturbed

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    Protip: Have an enormous penis. Just parade it around like a cock jockey, ride it to the circus, then tie it up outside the peanut shack so you can go beat up some clowns before a hearty breakfast-brunch of wild oats and testosterone. She will literally sexgasm until she's unloaded so much female-orgasm-liness that you're not sure if she's your date or one of the many oozing chewed-gum-and-peanut-shell-mounds that plague the circus like hemorrhoids.

    Alt. Protip: If you don't have an enormous penis, find someone who does and use him as a stunt double. That oh-so-slightly crosseyed farm hand? Done deal. The guy walking naked on the side of the interstate? Without a question. The guy with the underbite who always drools on your money at Taco Bell? Priceless. Afterwards just bitch-slap the hell out of the both of them until they're not sure what's what and booby-trap his asshole so the next time he farts at work he'll cover the cheap wallpaper in a fresh coat of underachieving paste.

    Alt. Alt. Protip: If you can't find any of the good parts on a woman, just lick her elbows until she decides to get up and go home. Works every time. Plus then you get to play Call of Duty.

    Focus: Teasing is great, especially if they're incapacitated in some manner. Other than that steady rhythm and reading of body signals is important. Also I find a lot of times she won't be into the idea of anal that night, but after a little teasing followed by a quick working over with a vibrator, she doesn't object to the vibrator making a casual entrance backstage while mister meaty covers the front entrance. No complaints afterwards either, just panting.
     
  4. rei

    rei
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    If you can adjust your position slightly to reach her clit, adjust your position slightly and reach her clit.
     
  5. Dcc001

    Dcc001
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    New Bitch On Top

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    Again, body language and communication is key. Some girls can't take pressure directly on it, so don't just jump at the chance to have direct contact with it as much as possible.
     
  6. JWags

    JWags
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    Men and women alike, if you can't take instruction, you're never gonna be anything better than an average lay. The fact that people are insecure about that is ridiculous to me. On a similar wavelength, just because your ex LOVED something, doesn't mean its a tried and true move that you HAVE to do to everyone.

    Guys, I've found that when going down on a girl, increase the surface area of your tongue/fingers/whatever and you'll like the reactions. Too often, myself included, guys try to get pinpoint pressure on a girl's clit, which can often be too much. Broad strokes can do wonders.
     
  7. Renholder

    Renholder
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    aaaaaand it's off to the porn thread I go....
     
  8. PewPewPow

    PewPewPow
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    [​IMG]

    treat my penis like this