I understand it might make some girls self-conscious, but I never gave it a second thought. I have never had a guy get between my legs to get a long, lingering look. Once they get down there it's just bury your face and get moving. The only things that make me paranoid are the usual scent and taste insecurities. I'm all about the hygeine and Brazillian thing. Every once in a while I'll get a taste of myself on the boyfriend and if I can manage, I'm sure he can. When in the moment, all I can think about is "Put that thing in there and let's do this" or "Don't stop, don't fucking stop or I will slap the shit out of you." Not "ZOMG! My labia is strange looking and he might be weirded out! I need to cut those off and bleach the rest, STAT!"
I don't even want to think about what it feels like to have your down-there-spot bleached. Or your asshole, for that matter. It's a new trend still, but talk about cornering the market. I imagine it feels like butting out a lit cigar in your anus. I can see people getting that done if your asshole looks like a wink from the loser of a barroom brawl, but other than that....why?
If it's anything like that one time I had the bright idea to put Nair on my balls, it's possibly the most unpleasant experience a human being can encounter.
After chopping habaneros for dinner I went and used the bathroom without washing my hands one time. That has to be worse than nair.
One time I was walking back to my seat on deck at a swim meet while holding a taco salad in my hand. As I'm walking by the coaches' section one of them has their back to me and swings his arm behind him in an upward motion, which then smacks my hand holding the taco salad. It was like watching it in slow motion, all the taco meat, lettuce, tomato, chips and sour cream slowly make their way towards the pool. And it all lands in Lane 1 as a race is going on. So, there the coaches and I are frantically trying to scoop soggy chips, etc. out of the pool while the swimmer swims in watery sour cream. The announcer saw all this happen and for the rest of the meet renamed the "Walking Tacos" to the "Flying Tacos" in my honor. That made me feel self-conscious.
So, the girls swim team was called "The Walking Tacos" ? Was the men's team the "Banana Slings" ? I'm not sure for what, but I think "chopping habaneros" is a great euphemism for some sexual act.
Particularly for the vaginas featured in the original post link..... I can attest to the chili peppers unseen mayhem. I've thought I've cleaned my hands good enough on several occasions when handling the peppers I grow. You don't see the oil under your finger nails but you sure feel it when you are hunched over a sink splashing water onto your balls.
Your title of dirty old man is well-earned. I never made that connection. Now I will never think of anything else. (Walking Taco is what they call them at the snack stand. You know, because you walk away with them...I don't know, I didn't name them! All I know is that I was starving and I was too embarrassed to go get another one. The whole surrounding crowd did that "Awwww" when it happened.)