NONE. New parents fucking suck. New parents are the exact reason why I hate children. They are the ones that let their children run like wild banshees through stores. They are the ones that let their fucking brats eat all of the candy out of my candy dish. They are the ones that let those little bastards run all over the parking lot. They answer questions with: "Yeah and no". If did not say yes ma'am, no ma'am, or yes sir no sir, I would get slapped across my face. Parents are not being parents anymore. They teach none of their children fucking respect.
Don't fuck up a reasonable discussion with blanket statements. There have always been bad parents, regardless of their generation, and there are good ones in this generation. Perhaps it's not the parents, as a whole, that are the problem. Maybe it has a lot to do with how our surroundings and values have changed over the last several decades, or how differently we communicate (internet, texting, twitter, etc.) than previous generations? Just food for thought.
The parents in this generation are a WHOLE lot fucking worse then the parents from previous generations. Parents from this generation have raised their children to be completely materialistic and disrespectful. Do you know what they are calling this generation? The ME generation. Meaning they only care about themselves, and want instant gratification. How is that not disrespectful? The parents are in charge of creating those surroundings, and introducing their children to good values. It is the parents that allow them internet access, cell phones, cars, and other technology. The parents are at fault for creating these monsters.
I've said it before and I'll say it again. The Baby Boomers are the worst generation in the history of the planet. Everything you've complained about the "ME" generation is true of the Baby Boomers, except ten times worse. This is the generation that ruined television, the environment, civic responsibility, good taste, the economy and in all likelihood, the American Experiment.
Yeah, because we've totally never had the 'Kids these days' argument before. Breaking new ground here, guys.
I'm the parent of two young boys. I was raised to mind my P's and Q's and am passing things like common courtesy on to them. Last week my wife was out shopping with them in some pricey boutique type store that is crammed with expensive breakables. As she was making a purchase at the counter she was complimented by the clerkthat they were two of the best behaved children that they had ever seen. The biggest thing is that we spend time to actually parent our children instead of letting the television, or video games keep them "out of our hair". Too many parents are too self absorbed themselves and too "busy" to spend quality time with there kids, or they try to be their child's friend rather than a parent first.
For the record, some of us "shitty" parents have a unique challenge. Our elders had something going for them, kids were much more dependant on their parents for knowledge. Have a question? Ask Dad, he'll know. Now kids Google and Wikipedia for knowledge that they believe applies to them and never learn a code of respect for those more experienced at life. My five year old uses a brand new Mac everyday in class. He has just learned to read and can show me how to find directions or how to find a Disney movie streaming. My only edge is that I can and will spank his smart little ass. I expect him to be respectful, he is responsible to hold doors open for women, the whole bit. I am sure going to have a hell of a time in the coming years.. Knowledge is Power.
Yea, and some of them are also the ones who, after completing their 'social revolution', became college professors and began spreading their disease to future generations. Focus: Never.
Like MoreCowBell says, we've been there before. Let's not rehash all that shit, and it wasn't my intention to direct things in that area with my question. But I am genuinely curious about the whole lack of respect aspect of dealing with strangers. And I'm not talking about the semantic crap that's the difference between acting in a respectful manner (until given a reason to do otherwise) and deep respect (as in I'd follow you to Hell and back, sir), but general common, polite courtesy.
Some theories, other than "parents just suck." Increased urbanization: because people are more centrally located than ever before, and cities are bigger than ever before, there are more strangers. People are far more likely to be impolite and/or not care about people they never have to see again. Increased industrialization: That's not quite the right word, but in short, there are more households where both parents work than ever before (except for, you know, 3 years ago). Increased creativity: It's possible, perhaps even probable, that education today is meant to foster creativity at the expense of structure. I personally think it's a worthwhile trade-off, but if children are told that their ideas matter, really matter, there's going to be a dropoff in their willingness to be utterly submissive. Back lash backlash: It's no longer AS socially acceptable to beat your children. I think it's another worthwhile tradeoff, but it's much more difficult to "parent effectively" without the underlying threat of physical violence. Especially for busy parents who have to compete with more outside stimulation than ever before.
I'll also add that people no longer have such a strong dependence (or potential dependence) on their neighbours to survive. Not too long ago, if shit hit the fan, you had to rely on the assistance of your community to help you out. It only made sense to be nice to your neighbours, or others you didn't know, as you never knew when you might need their help and it was counterproductive to piss them off for no reason. It's not like that any more, except in the most rare of circumstances. People in that ice storm in Quebec kind of found out about that a few years ago. And decline in actively religious people I think adds to it as well.
If I don't beat them now, I will drown them in a tub later. There is a distinction between discipline and "physical violence." There needs to be an understanding that actions have consequences, and consequences can hurt. If a stern talking to is all you are afraid of receiving, I am willing to bet you will cross the line more frequently. This can be a problem once you are on your own.
Nothing beats physical pain as a deterrent to doing something. No single individual fucked up an entire generation of people like Dr. Spock.
I'm respectful because if I'm not I fear my Grandma (who was one tough as nails lady, worked as the intake sergeant at the worst jail here for years eventually retiring) would come back from the grave just to kick my ass. Really though I hold doors, let cars go in front of me and such. I appreciate "the nod" or "the wave" but well over half the time never get either. It doesn't stop me from doing it because every so often someone is so great about my gesture it makes it worth the little to no extra effort. For instance, I was at the grocery store a few weeks back. I noticed a short older lady trying to reach something on the top shelf but the product had been pushed back, making it even more difficult for her. I asked if she wanted some help getting it she smiled and must have thanked me 5 or 6 times. She even called me an angel twice. It was really sweet and actually made my day. Now, we all know I am certainly no angel but it was nice to hear her reaction to my simply reaching up for her two bottles of whatever it was on the beverage isle. She also commented on my height and how great it must be. I told her it is now but in HS when I was taller than most of the boys, it was not.
Obviously, only my opinion, but I think the world is rapidly moving from "I will assume you are a reasonable, normal person and give you a commensurate amount of respect until proved otherwise" to "if you want any respect at all, you earn it." There's a list of factors to that, but off the top of my head some of them would be: - More people doing shitty things to drag the averages down of what is a normal person; - Lack of fear of reprisal; - Lack of reprisal generally; - Knowledge that others can get away with it; - Increased demands on people coupled with inherent laziness (ie willing to make an effort to be courteous and respectful up to a certain point, and that point being exceeded); - Commonality (he doesn't do it, so why should I?); - Lack of acknowledgment and gratitude (why should I do it when I'm not going to get anything in return?); - Some degree of backlash when doing it (the "I held a door for a woman and got my head taken off by a radical feminist" syndrome). Probably minor, but I have experienced. Didn't stop me though, I'm a stickler for manners and respect; and - The chicken and egg conundrum. Someone is respectful to someone else, but this is not reciprocated. The first person loses respect for the other and acts accordingly. Second person doesn't connect that the reason for the changed treatment is their own action, and continues to act disrespectfully.
I think people confuse "respect" with "admiration". Being respectful is treating someone with a basic level of consideration and politeness. Just because you respect someone doesn't mean you hold them in high regard. I hear a lot of people in this generation misuse the word, and it irks me. I respect everyone. I look up to very few.
See that's dosent really have anything to do with respect, but being a decent human being. If your going to walk past a little old lady who's too short to reach something on the top shelf then your a fucking idiot. Hell if you see and old person struggling with anything and you dont help them then your a fucking idiot too. For instance the people next door to my place are about 70 years old and the husband had a stroke a few years ago, which left the left side of his body paralyzed. Our family makes certain that their driveway is plowed and their walkways are shoveled in the winter time. We also make sure their garbage gets down to the road for pick up day. Its simple shit like that that takes an extra half hour, but it helps people like that out in so many ways.
When my elders said "respect your elders" they didn't mean they just wanted a basic level of consideration. They meant obedience.