Well, by that logic, the Boxing, the Wrestling AND all the gymnastic events should be undertaken naked, and there should be no womens' events whatsoever. I'd fucking love it if they brought back the Armoured Sprint though. That shit would be badass. Actually the Greeks would routinely interrupt their wars if they clashed with the Olympics because they were a holy, peace-building event. It wasn't so much practicing going to war (although the skills were relevant) as much as it was overawing the other cities with how awesome and badass you were, which is why the Spartans and Athenians routinely cleaned up. On a slight side-note (you want rants motherfucker? I'll give you rants): Can we just go ahead and ban any sport in which the athletes can get away with being a pot-bellied, double-chinned sack of shit at an OLYMPIC level? I mean seriously, look at this fucking chode. He's an olympic gold medallist: You want to have archery in the olympics? Great. It's an ancient and noble art. What you CAN'T have though is a carbon-fiber self-stabilising self-aiming laser-guided heat-seeking fucking Bow of the Gods. You want to compete, you have to fucking shoot a medieval fucking longbow. No aiming devices, just pure, naked skill. What's that? Your pussy ass is too weak to handle an 180-lb draw strength? Well tough fucking shit, go lift more, you weakling. Medieval peasants managed it just fine, so man the fuck up. Same with fucking shooting. I mean, what the fuck is this? Fuck that. Too complicated-looking. Too EASY TO SHOOT. You get a barebones rifle in a decently powered calibre with an adjustable backsight and a front blade sight, figure it the fuck out. If you can't hit shit with it, then guess what, you're not a good shot and shouldn't be IN THE FUCKING OLYMPICS. What the fuck is that shit on his face? Is he a Terminator? Fuck off. Give them a Colt Single Action Army or something, if it's good enough for redneck cowboys to do trick shots with, it's good enough for a fucking Olympian. While they're at it they can go ahead and get rid of Dressage (Is the horse the athlete? Is the rider? How can you have an event that's so dependent on the quality of the animal between your legs?) and Race Walking, because Race Walking is the fucking worst. Also, FUCK BADMINTON.
Well I'm going into work at like 4:00 so I can hang around and supervise the floor cleaners until 10:00 and make sure they don't steal any drugs. Anybody up for a pharmacy slumber party? We can bring pillows and make blanket forts and you won't remember a thing.
Yachting sure as hell shouldn't be in Olympics that's for sure. Ditto for horse sports, speed walking, triple jumping (gay) and any sport where fat people can win.
Sex is a race, and I make damn well sure I always finish first. My PR is 28.22 seconds. Ladies, call me.
At least they're not conclaving a former nazi as pope the day before Hitler's birthday this time. Way to give every conspiracy nut a mile-long raging hard-on.
I searched his name and one of the first headlines is: "Support for Mayor Rob Ford steady despite Ass-gate." Keep it classy, Toronto!
Pope Francis? I can think of better names: Pope Muhammed Pope Call Me Maybe Pope Adolf Pope Jesus Pope Santa Pope DeShawn Pope Talik Pope Boris Pope Popeye
He's Latin, they should have chosen something more seductive, like Pope Vida la Banderas or some shit.
Oh, thank goodness we managed to find a pope who is vehemently against homosexuality and thinks that adoption by gay couples is a form of discrimination against children. Keepin' it classy.