I have two midgets operating inside the life-sized animatronic copy of myself currently typing this message. The actual me is on the couch in my undies, scratching my ass with an ice cream scoop. And leprechauns can't exist, because magic hasn't been around for years.
If you need any more reason to want to bang Selena Gomez, she made Justin Bieber cry. Also, she's a smoking hot Mexican with lots of money and legs that go all the way up.
Wait all the way up? Not like part of the way up? That's incredible. It it just me or does her tits look like ziplock bags full of water in that dress? I googled and she has a pretty nice rack. Someone should call her stylist and fire him.
I just can't get past how young her face makes her look. How tall is she? Because if she's tall that helps.
It used to annoy me when guys would say "Selena Gomez is going to be SO hot!" ... Say what you're really thinking: "That criminally underaged girl is hot." Thank you.
It was weird because it was really the first time he was ever so open about his sexuality. This group has been friends since elementary school and he was dating women, then about 15 years ago at a New Year's Eve party he shows up with a guy. We were all just looking at each other wondering is that a friend, or a boyfriend. To be fair to him though, the sex toy guy was goading him into it. Also, he was drunk. So was everyone else though, so I don't think he was getting the reactions he thought he would. Did you guys know when you go to a St. Patrick's Day party you're supposed to wear green? Yeah, me neither. Guess which one I am: I didn't even realize it until I saw the picture. I walked the dog today and since it was nice I switched to a lighter coat. I didn't grab a bag since the dog JUST pooped. See where this is going? Halfway around the loop I take her on and she goes right in a neighbor's lawn. I tried dragging the poor girl to get her to stop or at least get her out in the road but she wasn't having it. Honestly, if there weren't cars in the driveway, I would have just left it and gone back (I live in a small neighborhood, I didn't want to get a bad wrap), because I had nothing with me...oh, except this tissue I found in my pocket. So I picked it up and walked back to my house carrying poop in my hand hoping no one looked out their windows to see me. What a great day! I scrubbed thoroughly when I got home.
For real, she's been "of age" for 6 years! Seriously though, you left out the part of Crown's quote when he said "it used to annoy me . . ." - I think he meant before she was not underage, guys would say that.
Legal age is 14? I didn't realize you lived in Kentucky, there, Rush. I just found a note on my phone from Sunday night. It just reads "do not put your dick in Guinness. Guinness is not for dicks." What the fuck?
My god the last 20 seconds of that interview are adorable. And Letterman's fist bump was pretty clutch. Suck it Biebs.
I was talking about her Hannah Montana/Waverly Weirdo Warlocks whatever years. Before she was 20, she was younger than 20.
Great, Tom. I sure hope we can derail this thread into 75 pages of gun talk instead of having it, you know, in the fucking gun thread.
The gun thread is for discussing guns, not legislation. the appropriate thread is closed, and this is a drunk thread; it has no logical train of thought and thus cannot be derailed... and routinely witnesses people posting hairy vaginas and poop jokes, I think it can handle a gun or two.
Well, I'll try to do my part to get things back on track, whatever that may be . . . no hairy vaginas or poop, though.
It is impossible to put a bandaid on the part of your hand below your thumb where it transitions from meaty palm to back of hand. I've a cut there, and keep bumping into things. One side of the bandaid sticks to the little hairs like a Remora on a shark and the other side flaps about like a tattered flag in a hurricane. Why is that? Is there more oil on your palms or something?
I think the government could save themselves so much time if they simply passed a bill that made it illegal for any citizen to break the law. It's an easy fix.
Bring it on, bitch. I'll be sitting only porch with my whompin' stick and a six-pack of zombie coolers, waiting.