To take this any further I would have to put the minute amount of humanity I have left in jeopardy. I must bid you adieu.
In response to the toe question: I don't have freak-toes; ie: second toe longer than the big toe. Neither does Li'l Bandit (thank all that is holy). There is a term for that: Morton's toe, or Morton's foot. It just looks wrong, and I genuinely feel sorry for any person cursed with this affliction. It's not your fault, it's a genetic defect... But I would never have children with a woman who had such toes. Fun fact: My mom had Morton's toe. And she took pride in it.
Pinkcup? If we ban music on the drunk thread, how else would I be able to simultaneously complement and insult you at the same time?
And I will counter exhibit A with this.. and with this I may actually want to have a cup of coffee with him and his family too.
I can definitely understand someone wanting to engage in sexual relations with him, but he doesn't seem all that interesting. He seems vacuous. Same goes for Posh Spice. There doesn't seem to be a whole lot of real substance to them. They feel like caricatures to me. Extremely attractive caricatures who make me think I need to put down the pizza and go for a run, but caricatures nonetheless.
They are always seen hanging out with their family, they seem like engaged parents who enjoy spending time with their loved ones. That leads me to think that there is more lurking behind their perfect cheekbones.
See but the difference is, Beckham actually seems like he's actually a pretty good dude from interviews and stories I've read. And for being stupidly wealthy and one of the most famous and important (from a cultural standpoint) soccer players of the last 50 years and being married to a Spice Girl, they seem to have a fairly normal family life as opposed to other celebrity couples like fucking Chris Martin and Paltrow or shit like that. I feel the same way about Ben Affleck. In the face of all the other fucked up stuff about Hollywood, I respect it in an odd way.
If you actually listen to the stuff that Nitwit (and other people) posts, there is a message behind it. He isn't just picking this stuff at random. You might as well start bitching at people who post any other kind of links. And remember, it's the drunk thread, where everything but politics, religion, and child pornography goes. Now, let's get things back on track: NSFW
There's a girl coming over on Wednesday. She's much younger and we have this dinner/shower/massage/whip cream champagne popsicle thing planned. In spite of all the YouTube vitriol this evening, I need a playlist. Can I get some help? I know plenty of old school stuff, but if anyone has some new it would be nice. I'm starting with this. Really, it's too fast. Need to slow it dooowwn.
Dude, I'll say it: Good for you. I'm glad you realized this now, instead of not at all. Pro tip #1: EVERYONE, EVERYWHERE worries about money. Mark Cuban worries about it, so there's never going to be a point at which you go, "Fuck me, free at last." Pro tip #2: Fuck a good job, find a good life. I've worked a bunch of crazy jobs, but each was awesome in their own way. You can forget a job collecting rent, but look for the weird, unusual, or straight up crazy and say, "I can do that for a living." Everyone you will ever meet is trying to leverage a resume into something, so fuck that game. Leverage yourself into a job by demonstrating the fact that you'll be passionate about it. Example: I took a job with a wilderness camp as a counselor/teacher working with teenage gang-bangers. It paid shit, but I worked from Friday night until Monday morning having a fucking blast. The camp was in an electricity-free paradise: baseball fields, basketball courts, kayaking, camping, climbing, fishing, hunting (tracking at least), building everything from signs to log cabins, horses, goats and chickens...all kinds of shit. I was 22 and it was pure fucking fun, by far one of the coolest jobs I've ever had. Look for something to do that you can enjoy, at least a part of it. If you look for something that will help your resume, you're fucking up. Pro tip #3: Embrace poverty, seek utility. Things, Kim Kardashian and marketers are not the enemy here. Buying shit that won't last you very long is. A BMW is a decent car if it can handle a quarter million miles. A Mach 3 is worthless compared to a 1950's era safety razor that will last you until it rusts into a nail. You don't need much money if you buy shit to last. Throw out shit that costs you money to maintain, replace or keep working. It's stupidly simple, but spending $5/month on shit like razors, text messages, magazine subscriptions and swiffer pads ads up to an amount of money that is stupid to ignore...and has no fucking benefit to your life. I learned this from "Zen & The Art of Motorcycle Maintenance": seek quality and the marketing bullshit will not influence you in the least.
These last few pages of this thread have been fantastic. It's like that family dinner where everyone gets all riled up but only because we all love each other.
There's always a special place in our hearts for you, Parker. You're the best we've ever had. What? Come on, no...we never say that to anybody else. You're so good to us, we can't handle it. It's like it tears us apart.
Why would I listen to any of the musical shit that gets posted in this thread? I think I made it abundantly clear earlier, but just in case anyone missed it: I give zero fucks about music videos. This isn't the Listening Thread. If he wants to express himself or relay a message, he can use his big boy words like everyone else. In fact, I just saw a mod agree with me. So, for now, everything goes but politics, religion, child pornography, and music videos. Now, here's my ideal lady:
Dude, TOES came into the equation when you were thinking of impregnating someone? Not y'know, money, religion, parenting skills, or general health, but fucking toes? The day a woman's toes are a deal-breaker for me is connected to the night you will find me tossing salads in the men's room of a Target.
Wait.....what? Pinkcup. Are you talking to me through Dixie? Do you have a thing for me? You are in love with me.....aren't you? .......well, I sorta' wonder about you too..........
On a random note, has anyone ever had to go to court to be a witness for the state? We had a customer that sold us stolen guitars a month or two ago - he came back to sell some more, and we called the cops, and he was taken into custody. The next day, we're getting automated calls saying that I've been issued a subpoena and have to testify. I'm just not sure if I'm gonna have to deal with cross examination, or if I'm just going to be there to say "yeah, that's the guy" and then leave.