I can't do this. I also can't whistle, blow up a balloon or snap my fingers. My parents taught me no life skills. I didn't have my first kiss until I was 18. I lost my purity ring earlier that week, got drunk and made out with 5 guys that night. I don't actually know who my first kiss was. The following summer would include first everything minus my v-card which I held onto until shortly after my 19th birthday. Last weekend was my first time smoking pot. Also I've only started smoking in the last month.
Fun Fact: Cooks and chefs often use cornstarch as a replacement. Wise Words: Don't mix it up with flour. FOCUS: Due to a fear of heights, it took me until the ripe old age of 19 to go cliff jumping for the first time. I always went along, but never jumped until that fateful day when I took a 55 foot plunge and cured myself of that fear.
I've raced motocross for 7 years. Been riding dirt bikes for 15. Taken dirt samples countless times... gone to the hospital a handful of times.. did all sorts of sports up until high school, and never broke a bone until last year in a fight on New Years. 2 metacarpals - yes. Sophomore year of high school: Did mushrooms twice before I smoked or drank anything. Still have never smoked a cigarette or chewed. Still have never personally ordered a pizza over the phone.
I didn't start swimming until I was in 5-6th grade so I was like 10-11 years old? I dont know what the average age is but I was by far the last one of my friends that learned how to swim. I made friends with a kid that moved in behind me with a swimming pool. Up until then Id just used life preservers and floated around. The first weekend I did my normal routine with the life vest but got a horribly painful rash on my neck from the vest being on loose and rubbing it raw. The next weekend his dad convinced me to jump in the deep end sans vest and that he'd grab me if I was in trouble. I found out the body was naturally buoyant and that was that. Im 25 and never had a long term take her home to the folks girlfriend. Ive dated a few girls on and off for weeks/months at a time as I seem to get involved with girls that live/go to school in different states. The closest thing I'd say was a girl I hung out with for a while that I worked with and had a bunch of mutual friends with. She was in an on again off again with her chump boyfriend from high school when we first started kicking it. She got knocked up and tried the whole mother father thing for about 2 months when the kid was born before she dumped him for good and we started dating. It lasted 3 solid months before we mutually agreed shit wasn't ever going to work out. Ill save the rest of the story for the ex thread because it is a dooooooooz-ee. There have been a couple of girls that Ive been sort of friends with benefits, just hanging out, drinking, and screwing every now and again. I was a late bloomer for a guy. I didnt kiss a girl until I was 17 and didn't get laid until I was 20. Again, behind all of my friends, save one, who is 25 and still hasnt done either. As mentioned in the thread the other week Im 25 and just started my first organized sport, outside of the year in middle school wrestling B team. My parents were just not sports people at all*. My mom came to my last wrestling meet since my friend's moms told her of it. We rode dirtbikes on the weekend instead of hitting up tail gates or watching the game (I attended my first NFL game at 23). We did keep up with motocross races, starting with the year Jeremy McGrath went 14-15. But once my dad started getting sick we stopped going and my interest wained because they started changing over to four strokes. I started getting into sports big time about 5 years ago but by then I was WAY behind the curve as far as knowing the ins and outs of the tactics and strategies of each sport. I can almost hold me own when talking football but don't keep track of the billions of facts that my friends do, so after the basics I sound like an idiot. * I should really post the email my mom sent me the other week when I told her I was concerned about my athletic prowess in softball. She tried to explain what she knew about the rules of the game. It's pretty cute how little she knows.
Once again I’m gobsmacked by the level of social retardation around here. These along with the (list my medication / I’m so fucked up) threads always make me feel like I’ve just dived into the shallow end after the short bus has made a delivery.
What are you talking about? Everything I read on here suggest 99% of the posters chug high end scotch by the gallon after rugby/MMA practice while fucking their perfect 10 model girlfriends. I say good day!
You're obviously skipping my posts if that's the case. I chug malt liquor when I can afford it and fuck broads with three teeth...that are all in the back.
Let's see... First kiss: 14 V-card: 17 First time I fucked up getting a potential girlfriend because I fucked her sister: see above First orgasm: 13? 14? First orgasm without manual stimulation: still waiting on that one First blow job: 18 First time drunk: 15 First cigarette: never First time tried weed: 22 First broken bone: 21 First cavity: 19. This one is weird because when I was a kid I hardly ever brushed my teeth, and ever since then I've taken much better care of my teeth, but I've had several cavities since then. I don't get it.
Holy crap, can't believe I didn't mention this in my first post but: First time masturbating: 17, seriously I don't even know why, neither me nor my family are super religious, I was just told by a few older (19-20 year olds) that only losers do it and it stuck. That first blast took forever to clean up and has never been duplicated. Pretty much everyone I knew told me "you seem a lot more relaxed than usual" the next day. I wonder why.
If you take this post and multiply it by 100, it will sound very close to the same thing Hotwheelz is going to say in a few weeks. Reading these posts I realized I'm... pretty normal in regards to most things (read: I did them like a decade before most of you nerds). I have however avoided breaking any bones, and I have yet to put it in a girls butt.
I never learned how to drive a car with a manual transmission. I ate my first corndog at the age of 37. I've never seen an episode of "Lost."
I have yet to have a serious relationship and I'm 22. I don't find this so strange, but since everyone I know has been serial dating since the age of 14, apparently I am a freak.
I'll be 25 in October and have never been in a serious relationship. I lost the v card at 20. I didn't get the chicken pox until I was 12 (at the end of 5th grade). I was about the only kid in my preschool class who didn't get it. My first and only cavity was at 20.
I'm 23 and have never broken a bone, unless baby toe counts? Non-confirmed so I'm going to forget it. I've never had a cavity, but have had upwards of 16 teeth pulled (Including wisdom). I guess the size of the ones I still have make up for it.
Well, I got a new first just a half hour ago. I was cleaning the house, bent down to pick up a pile of towels, farted loudly and then shit myself just a little. Yes, it's the first time I've ever sharted. Go me.
Didn't start masturbating until I was 17. That probably has something to do with being a girl raised in a catholic family. Never had an orgasm during sex until I was 20. At least I'm miles ahead of some women. One of my roommates at college told me she thought girls didn't really masturbate. You know, its just one of those things we say to fuck with guys heads. Like fake lesbians. She had also never had an orgasm. Ever. Funnily enough, she was raised catholic too.
First date (also that night we got hit by two drunk drivers, who were unrelated, simultaneously): freshman year of college, 18 first kiss: 18 first girlfriend: 18 (all the same chick) lost virginity: 19 (on a cruise; I turned 20 like a week later) second girlfriend: 20 (met her about a month or two later) engaged to that girlfriend: 20, 9 months after I met her married my fiance: 21 I've caught a lot of shit for this, especially with family initially, but if I wouldn't change much. I like that I was my wife's "first," and I kind of wish I had just held off another few weeks so she could have been my first too. Kind of because it's still a funny story how I lost it, and I'm not religious or anything, but it'd just be a cool thing to do if practical and possible.
First date 19 (a little late to the party) First kiss 18 First time going home with a girl 18 (same girl) Lost virginity 19 (Holy fuck you pussy, how did you you not fuck that girl you went home with) Moved away from home 23 (Shit, you were lucky to get laid at all) I staid at home and went ot a nearby university. I can't help but think I messed out on a lot of good times by staying at home while going to school. Sure I saved a fuck load of money. Not sure if it was worth it.
The first time I masturbated I was 18. I lost my v card four years earlier, and my girlfriend was very willing so I never saw the point.
Didn't go to a concert until I was 18. Didn't smoke weed until 6 months ago. Hadn't been touched by a woman until some drunk chick threw up on me while trying to give me a blowjob last year. Never mailed a package until two years ago.