Same. One girl told me to dirty talk to her in Hindi during sex. I gee it a go a couple of times, but I just felt like a retard and it was hard not to say ridiculous, completely non-sexual shit to her while we were fucking and hearing her enjoy it. I would say the equivalent of "I'm going to take a huge dump on your chest in exactly 2 and a half minutes." She moaned and I started laughing my ass off. But even that got old after a while. Focus: A good outfit always does it for me. No role play or anything (that shit is completely ridiculous too) but there is nothing like a nice set of tits in a corset or a nice booty in booty shorts. Not really much of a kink, I know. I guess I'm fairly regular when it comes to sex. Can't I just flop around on you for a while and then call it a night?
I'm in that group. Had an ex GF that liked to be thrown around and lightly choked, hair pulling, HARD spanking etc. I would do it for her but was never comfortable with it. I'm pretty open to most over things as long as its not ass play on my end (ZING!) Semi-public places are one of my favorites. Where you can see other people but they couldn't see you unless they really looked. Back seat of a parked car with tinted windows for example. People are 5 five away and have no idea that I'm railing some chick.
FOCUS: ... and I am skewed the other way. I'd have probably fitted into society well 100+ years ago, when everyone was repressed and very few people mentioned sex. Now? Not so much. I'm not into kink, BDSM or sex - all I remember was the blinding pain of my dick being crushed by female pelvis and want no further involvement. Honestly, I'd rather just game away on the PC (since I am not smart, attractive or rich enough to attract anyone - the less said about my personality, the better). And, for the record, I'm opposed to violence against women - if I tried to engage in half the stuff mentioned on this board, I'd just believe I was hurting her, regardless of her response, and then I'd feel horrible guilt for myself and her. Mods, feel free to edit this but... how about an ALT. FOCUS: What kink/move/porn/whatever is an immediate, unmitigated turn-off for you? I think we can all say puking on someone else (or them puking on you) is a turn-off...
Aside from the regular, shit/piss/vomit/blood, I'd say bush is a huge turnoff for me. I've always been intrigued by the idea of watching your SO getting fucked (sans emotions), or swinging. When push came to shove, I'm not sure I could actually go through with it, but it is interesting. I'm not a jealous person, and am very visual. Plus, why wouldn't you want someone you love to experience something fun?
Plans this weekend? For seriously though, ever since a booty call a couple years ago, the whole master slave dynamic has sorta stuck in my brain, though it's only really come out again recently. It doesn't always translate to extra rough/aggressive sex (not much rougher/aggressive than usual, anyways), it's just more...I verbally command exactly what I want to happen. And that could be anything like "bend over so I can eat you out from behind" or "deepthroat me" or "go get me a beer before I eat you out from behind and then you deepthroat me." Oh, and a little bit of dirty talk, like making her beg for it, or saying thank-you, or that she "likes being a good girl" or variations on that. The degree of roughness is always up to her, and so far I haven't reached my limit, though choking took some gettting used to. Hair pulling, spanking and general aggression is pretty much the norm for me at this point. I'm similar to BadBrains in that I want to do EVERYTHING to a really hot ass, and I had an ex who had the cutest feet 'n toes ever, but hers were the only feet I've ever had the urge to do something sexual with. Basically though, pretty much every girl I've dated or booty called with has said that I spend way more time on their ass than any guy ever. I guess that could be a fetish but I mean, come on, it's ASS! As for turn offs, this might sound weird, but it's happened a few times, where the girl seems...too into it. I'm not trying to brag, it's just happened where she's moaning and squeezing and 'oh god'-ing way too early. As in, suspiciously early, and it makes me think 'the fuck is going on here?', which kinda takes me out of it, which kinda kills my boner. I don't mean to be picky, and I'd prefer a noisy girl to a mute fish (or any kind of fish), but like I say, it's happened. I asked one girl about it, if she was faking or what, and she said no, she just gets really wet and cums really easy. Which is awesome, assuming the other girls were the same, but for whatever reason, sliding it in and hearing the girl gush instantly...kinda turns me off. Sex is weird sometimes (only if you're doing it right, amiright?). Oh and pedos and beastiality folk. Them people are sicker than Nazis.
I thought the same thing, but when we actually went through with it I found it to be a lot of fun. Swinging is all about communication. My wife and I were newbies and therefore somewhat naive, so the situation didn't go quite as we would have liked it too. The sex however is something we both still fantasize about.
I'm not sure about other guys, but here's my thoughts. Most guys have a very, very strong inhibition toward hitting a woman. We're raised from childhood to not hit girls. Suddenly, you get into a relationship with a girl, and the girl's into getting hit / flogged / demeaned. On the one hand, the guy wants to please her... but on the other, he's going against 20+ years of "Johnny, hitting a girl is NEVER okay." So there's that almost instinctual discomfort with it. Also, there's the fear of doing too much. "I wanted you to hit me hard, but not THAT hard!" Awesome, you're now a woman-beater. As a result, the guy thinks the following: "I like this girl, but I don't think I can please her. Sorry, I can't do it."
...which is exactly the right attitude. The thing with most bondage is that it's easy to do; doing it without leaving cold bodies or mutilations takes a degree of skill. I know I'm considered somewhat pedantic, but my opinion is that if you don't have a basic knowledge of anatomy and physiology, first aid and body language then you have no business undertaking BDSM. Choking is dangerous. It's air. The problem is that the part most people love for it is the hands around the neck, and the windpipe is quite robust. That's a problem because getting to the point of effective choking is awful close to doing damage. If you want a safe way for beginners to do a choke: with one hand pinch the nostrils shut with thumb and forefinger and cover the mouth with the rest of the hand. Then lightly wrap the other hand around their throat without applying pressure. And just remember that it's better to let go too early than perform CPR later. A number of short sessions will get them the head spins and is a lot safer than one long one. Rope bondage is another matter. Knowing your rope and how to tie effective knots that won't slip or jam is one part, tieing it so that you don't crush blood supply or nerves is another. Then there's just the matter of being able to quickly release your rope bunny if they freak out (preferably in a way that doesn't involve you having to cut your rope).
OMG Dcc you're my favorite. I'm away camping, and this morning I'm nursing a hangover from hell. But when I'm back in the city and not hurting, I'm going to tell you all about the beatings I like to take when I'm being fucked.
When I was 20, I fucked a 32 year old for a couple months. She taught me a lot of shit in the bedroom, and she loved to be choked. That got me used to reaching for the throat when fucking, and it kind of freaked out the next couple girls I was with. I do still love to do it, though. Pulling her hair can be a lot of fun as well. And this isn't really kink, but it can be. Talk to me. Let me know what the fuck is going on, and I can find what works for you.
On the choking topic, its seems like its mainly a girls request. I haven't seen any male posters saying its something they request. Theories? I've never been choked while doing the dirty but I've been choked out wrestling/fighting etc and its sucks. Trying to get air into my lungs is in no way sexy and if the GF tried to choke me, I'd probably freak the fuck out as soon as I realized I couldn't draw a breath. What am I missing?
Personally, I find choking and light pain to be sort of distracting. I find them pleasant, no doubt, but they're sort of unrelated to me cumming and probably prolongs it.
Ahem. If you can get the timing right, it will blow your goddamn mind. As for me, I like all the standard mild-moderate BDSM activities. I'm careful with choking due to the many cautions I've heard on Savage Love about it, but that girl is some years in the past now. I'm a fan of the semi-public outing (road head, in the laundry at a party with people in the next room, etc) and some light swapping. Sensory deprivation / orgasm denial is a fun way to spend some time. The only one I haven't seen mentioned yet is mixing drugs with sex. Aww yeah. My Xzibit meme would be something like "Yo dawg, I put some coke on her breasts so you can rail while you rail!" My all time greatest orgasm involved a large number of club drugs, a blowjob, and a perfectly timed pipe hit. Actually blacked out from that one. (Side note: the girl blowing me was actually a Drug Counselor at the time.) Sigh. I miss being young sometimes. Also, this has been running through my mind the entire time I've been reading this thread:
I'm not sure I have anything of value to contribute to this thread at this point. I think at this point, everyone who even remotely cares knows that I'm a pervert, but a couple of people asked so - Spoiler I've been into kink since high school and attending swinging and fetish parties since I was 17. I work from time to time as a Pro Dom, work as a Dungeon Monitor and Event Host for public BDSM parties, present education workshops on BDSM topics (from intros/basics on pretty much everything rythrough to advanced flogging / impact play and advanced electro play) on a regular basis and I've been published a few times when writing about kink. I'm bi, but mostly play and work with women. I have two girlfriends, about ten other regular play partners, a couple of regular clients, and a fairly long waiting list of people who want some of my time. I'd love to be able to make kink my primary source of income - but I already make more from kink services than any other guy that I know - and it's a fraction of what a junior white collar professional would make. I don't do kids or animals or people who aren't enthusiastically consenting under any circumstances. Scat beyond accidental transfer from anal sex or something is my other major hard limit. I don't enjoy blood or urine enough to engage in an activity purely for the sake of encountering one of those things. Beyond that, I like being the dominant top and enjoy most kinky things, from spanking to flogging to whips, fire, choking, electricity, rope bondage, cages, predicament bondage, genital and nipple torture, biting, wrestling, exhibitionism, voyeurism, humiliation, group sex, partner exchange, gender/role challenging scenarios, and almost anything perverted.
I could be way off on this one, but I think there is a definite difference in the way a fighter chokes and the ways you would do it sexually. I've been put in a rear naked choke and it was one of the most painful experiences of my life. It hurt to eat for almost a week. As far as sexually, just restricting airflow is enough, you aren't trying to actually wrench the persons head off. Maybe some people do prefer it that way, but when I've been choked, it wasn't really painful and it didn't leave the aforementioned bruising. Also, it is rare to find a girl capable of choking a guy with her hands, so that might have something to do with it.
I think on the whole women are more submissive than men. There is something incredibly submissive about having hands around your throat, hence you see it being more of a female request. There's also the problem that if you choke a guy out I assume he loses wood, so what's the point?