Splish Splosh goes the cock, then the party must stop

It's not over!

 

Focus 2:

When the wife and I were first dating, well, I found out that she has a... thing, for cowboys. Now I may live in Texas on a ranch with longhorn cows literally staring in my window right now, but I am not a "cowboy." I rarely wear jeans, and up until I met my wife I had never even worn a pair of cowboy boots.

But like I said, the then-girlfriend had a thing for hicks and I had a thing for getting pussy through any means necessary. So one day I decided to stop by the local Cavenders and pick up a pair of wranglers. Proud with my new purchase and the sexual bliss I hoped it'd provoke, I text her to brag. She demanded that I take a picture of "[my] ass in the jeans" and send it back to her. Being a smartass, I interpreted that to mean "[my] ass AND the jeans." So I took a picture over my shoulder in the mirror, of my naked, white, hairy ass, and the jeans on a clothes hangar next to it.

When I sent that to her, she was understandably quite shocked by the white hairy nakedness, and correctly decided never to request such potentially-compromising pictures from me again.

Fast forward about a month, and her dad, who I had just recently met, decided for some reason to look through the pictures on her phone while we were all in their living room. Didn't bat an eye or change his expression during any of it, and when he handed the phone back to her, we quickly discovered that the little shit had neglected to delete the image of my naked white hairiness. Guess which picture her dad had set as her home screen background?

Yup. That was an awkward explanation.

(I now have a habit of taking pictures of my particularly nasty shits and sending them to my wife's phone. Great way to surprise someone, if you're ever looking for a fun and easy prank. Recently found and quickly deleted an old one off my phone. THAT could have been bad.)