Hooray, drunk me took care of hungover me by drinking a bottle of water and getting a vitamin water/water mix ready to go for the morning. I'm so responsible.
Last night, my cousin wandered up to my house. This is the cousin who recently converted to Mormonism. She does not have a car or a driver's license and lives on the other side of town. I don't know how she got to this side of town, but when she showed up she was baked out of her mind. She came in, ate all of the pizza I had left as well as all the cookies and snacks in my pantry, made herself a drink (I don't even know where she found alcohol), made me explain the movie "Your Highness" for the entire two hours we were watching it, and finally passed out on my couch. I tried to wake her up 5 or 10 times, but every time she would open her eyes they would be closed again in a matter of minutes. In a few hours she is most likely going to wake up and insist that I drive her home. I am also babysitting at the moment, which is a good enough excuse for not driving her home, but I know she is going to drop a guilt trip on me and ask "why do you hate me so much." Either that, or she's just going to hang out here all weekend, which I will not be able to deal with. The moral of this story is, don't invite your crazy family members to hang out.
I am annoyed about this story. Not that there is anything wrong with it, but for the fact that I am now at work and I forgot to bring the leftover pizza that is sitting in my fridge right now. Fuck.
Question: Which pitcher in baseball has the lowest ERA, but the highest number of Chromosomes? Basically, who's the best pitcher with Down Syndrome? The candidates are: Tom Gorzelanny--- ERA 4.57 WHIP 1.45 Matt Belisle--- ERA 4.48 WHIP 1.37 Sean Marshall--- ERA 3.96 WHIP 1.33 Derek Holland --- ERA 4.73 WHIP 1.40 Am I missing anyone?
Yeah, make sure these people actually read the book before you go trusting opinions. Half the people who talk about that book think it's a guide to scoring babes, which is bullshit. It's a books about PUAs and how most of them are the shells of men. Strauss claims he went "undercover" with them but he's a liar too-- he totally bought into Mystery's peacocking con and then threw him under the bus when he wrote the book to save face once Mystery's fifteen minutes started to flicker. Strauss is a bit of a hack. Usually, he lets bands write an autobiography, then he puts his name on the front of the book with Them. And gets paid WAY more than you or I. The book is entertaining, but calling it life-changing is laughable to say least.
True! I had myself some Outlaw Whiskey last night. Apparently, it's put out by Jesse James Dupree, the lead singer of Jackyl. Interestingly enough, I don't have a head smashing hangover.
I'm seconding the idea. Whenever I see them I can't stop thinking about how much fun they'd be to pull.
This is the same thing I've heard from other thoughtful, intelligent people (read: Scootah). I mean, by anyone's standards here (especially yours) I am a total pretentious douche about books, mostly because the last few books I've read have been in French, by snooty dead French philosophers. My standard for a must-read book that will change your life is pretty high; among them philalawyer and Rob Dobrenski, and I'm hesitant to even mention philalawyer to someone unless I know them well enough. Hearing someone recommend The Game as a book to me is kind of like that time I was in high school and (tried to) read In Praise of Folly by Desiderius Erasmus and some girl responded to a statement about the book with "I really loved The Da Vinci Code".
My wedding is tonight. I have a huge family who is doing all the last minute stuff for me today, but now I am a ball of frantic energy and have nothing to do. Eh, except a fried chicken sandwich and a frappuccino, because caffeine is going to help my problems!! Agh! I would pregame but I suspect that coming to the alter with wine lip would be frowned upon.
Why would you eat a fried chicken sandwich before your wedding day? Then wash it down with coffee?! Minister: Do you take the groom... You: *long fart that blasts up your gown and splashes your mother-in-law in the eyes*
That would probably have happened regardless. If you've read anything I've posted, you should know this.
Only thing I ate on my wedding day was scotch, same with all my groomsmen. We paid to have extra hours devours, we had 110 people, asked for enough for 150. Every last bit was demolished by the time we were done with pictures and arrived. The whole wedding party was fucking starving to death, and we had no energy. I sneaked out and went to the main hotel bar and took 10 redbulls back up to share. (the main course was artfully presented, so not that much food) You know in How I Met your Mother at Marshall and Lilly's wedding they didn't get any food? It was just like that. So eat up, you will need your energy.
Fixed to save the Ballsack anti Semitic reference per page average. I don't like watching baseball much myself. Shit is slow as fuck. People say soccer is boring, watching a game that is 1 to 0 where the only run came in the first inning? BORING. The biggest plus is that it begins in spring just when the weather is getting nice and women switch to their hot as fuck warm weather clothes, including baseball hats with pony tails sticking out the back which is hot. Honestly I people watch 95 % of the time I am at a game. If I lived in LA or San Diego where it the weather is nice outside? Fucking hit the beach every time instead.
How long is your hair? If you still have that weave in, it's probably long enough to make it look adult in the grown-up kind of cute-but-sexy way, rather than adult in the "you're a porn star playing a 16 year old Catholic school student" way. Not that the latter is bad, but if you just want to wear them out and about, I feel like they look less and less pornographic the lower you have the hairties...I usually do mine right under my jawline, and my hair is just-covering-nipples-length. They've been one of my staples since I saw Mary Louise Parker do it in those couple seasons of Weeds I watched. tl;dr TiBette thread, please.
I have this random soft spot for baseball. I'll watch it on TV with my dad, but when I really like it is, wait for it, going to minor league baseball games. I fucking LOVE it. People feel loyal for their team the way parents feel loyal to their kids' teams, and even if they lose no one gets angry and there's not so much stress involved. It's just fun. I usually go to a couple of games in the summer, either with my dad upstate with my "home team" or down here with the Cyclones on Coney Island, which is the best. You spend the day at the beach, you get a Nathan's hot dog, and then you walk over to the stadium that's right by the ocean. The ticket's are, like, $8 and they never really care where you sit since it's never too crowded so I've always sat in the best section. You get to sit in the sun, drink some beer, look at the ocean if the game's boring. It's such a nice, wholesome, all-American way to spend a day, giving me warm-fuzzies and what not.