I've been drinking vodka tripless and now I can't rember what I just posted about on here earlier. how you kids doin'? Nice. I love being a guy and drinking. It means you're hereby not responsible for any of your actions or decisions.
Spoken like a man who either intends to rob a bank or "accidentally" slip it in the wife's ass later tonight.
I love you Triple Caramel Chunk ice cream. You understand me. If you were a woman, I would marry you.
She's asleep. Best to my knowledge, women aren't usually turned on by the "Midnight Stealth" manoever. And as far as robbing banks goes, we're in Ontario so there's no "accidental robbery" because we don't use guns to rob banks. You just write a note and hand it to the teller*. *- Fact.
Kilts fucking rock. Based largely on the kilt, I picked up a ludicrously hot 19 year old last night. Easily in the top 3 hottest people I've ever fucked and a really fun fuck. 6'1, maybe 10 lbs away from catwalk model skinny, great tits, athlete's core musculature. Bit of a train wreck when she insisted on talking. Immature and daddy issues out the ass, and some fucked up self image nonsense. But 18 months ago she still in highschool being bullied for being weird and alternative. And from the look of her facebook photos, making some truly terrible style decisions. Still hasn't really grasped the fact that on a pure physical level / naked she's insanely hot - and the weird and alternative thing makes her even fucking hotter in the circles she's hanging in. Ironing a fucking kilt sucks though.
My friend is going on a mission trip to Uganda next week. I feel kind of bad telling him "these people grind up albinos as an AIDS remedy. What do you think they'll do with a real live caucasian?" Now, it has been my belief that if a woman is presented with sleep sex, by her lover, she will reciprocate unless she has hard gas. There is little better than waking up from a bizarre dream, rolling over, and just putting it in there. One of my ex's loved that. You're a bit groggy and every movement is drawn out and relaxed. No stress, no worries, just serene and calm fucking. This is how Buddha fucked. It might be the purest fucking ever. Besides, who gets angry being woken up with oral? Beats the fuck out of the alarm clock.
How big of an asshole would I be for fucking one of my little sister's friends? They're all of age. My sis wants me to go to some house party with them, but A) they all look kind of trollish and B) I don't really want to fuck a 19 year-old
I've been delivered to my place of residence by a loyal friend. Now the question is....is it time for water and sleep....or more beer and dancing in my boxers.
You know, I'd be offended, but the song I'm going bonkers to isn't much more heterosexual. Does the fact that I'm about to make myself a bacon, egg, and cheese on an everything bagel help any?
Just realized it was the anniversary of Biggie's death. I take back all my previous posts and replace them with the two best tracks from Biggie's career: Muthafuckas betta know.
Met a cool chick with awesome huge tits tonight. Unfortunately I was cockblocked by a friend of hers and couldn't take her home. Hopefully she's actually hot the next time I see her and I wan't just fooled by the booze and huge boobs. In keeping up with the trend, my favorite Biggie song.
Promised Crown I'd have a more appropriate college night tonight, so.... Just got back at 5:30am. Spent the evening getting trounced at beer pong and followed it up by a large quantity of naked wresting with a very, very hot blonde. And I did it all in skinny jeans (I prefer Levi's). The dude abides.
Played in a Progressive Catch Phrase party last night (so fun) and I think I drank a little too much, considering I knew I had to be up at 5:00 this morning to roll up my sleeves and work on renovations at the new house. I hurt, I hurt! Check out this fucking cake! Thank God the girl who baked it was talented in cake making, because she blew dogs for quarters at Catch Phrase.
Today is the St. Patrick's Day Parade in Scranton. It's the one day of the year when everyone gets extremely Irish on green beer and the 3rd runner up from American Idol or something sings on a float. Last year, Hilary Clinton was on the float. Now, we have some random singer who I have never heard of. This place is strange.