Just take the lyrics to this song: ... and replace "Kyle" with "Li'l Bandit," and "big, fat" with "skinny/average-sized," and you've got a song about my ex-wife. Spoiler I went to pick up Li'l Bandit today, and she mentioned that her car had been running hot lately and wanted me to take a look at it. I opened the hood to check the coolant level (which was fine), and I noticed that there seemed to be a lot of oil on the rear of the engine where the oil filter is. I looked under the car, and there was a lot of oil down there as well. I checked the oil level, and it didn't even register on the dipstick. I had to add almost three quarts to that thing, which means that the engine must have only had a quart or two left in it! I noticed that one of her tires was almost flat, so Li'l Bandit and I took it to a nearby truck stop to get it aired up while she took a shower; after checking the rest of them, every one of them needed air (a LOT of air; I suspect all of them have nails). After that, we drove the car for a few miles to get it up to operating temperature so we could see if the radiator fan was coming on (it wasn't). Upon further investigation, there was a hairline crack in the plastic oil filter cover/housing (it's a GM Ecotec engine with a cartridge oil filter) that was leaking pretty badly (I consider pretty much any oil leak bad, but this one was visibly seeping out of the cover.). I asked her when the last time she had the oil changed was, and she said that it was a few days ago (BIG RED FLAG). I asked her where she got it done, and she just said that a "friend" did it. Evidently this "friend" either over-tightened it, or used the wrong kind of wrench, because I've never cracked one of those housings yet. I asked her why she didn't take it to someone qualified, and she came back with: "WHO? SOMEONE LIKE YOU? YOU DON'T EVEN LOOK AT MY CAR WHEN I ASK YOU TO! I CAN'T DEPEND ON YOU FOR ANYTHING!" (even though I could have told her to go fuck herself and her piece of shit Cobalt when she asked me to take a look at it.) When I told her that her car wasn't driveable until that was fixed, she started bitching at me because supposedly she had to get to work asap, and she was going to be in big trouble if she didn't. She wanted to just drive the car anyway, but I told her doing so would be stupid, and that I could fix it. I didn't have any tools with me, and I thought I was going to have to go by my shop to get some, but luckily my brother-in-law had a wrench that would fit it, and the local parts store had a new cover in stock. I paid for all of this stuff (Cover, oil and air) myself. I didn't get anything from her. Not even a thank-you.
Another R.I.P Journalism Moment: the top sell in the news this week-- even making the front of National Newspapers, is the irresistable and tatntalizing thought of finally getting to see Hulk Hogan's penis. Here's some news for you: Pat Robertson--my arch enemy-- you know, the guy who said letting gays into Disney World will trigger the Apocalypse has quoted himself saying he approves of the legalization of pot. JIGGA WUT!?!!? This is as good as taking away the "no touch" rule in a strip bar. If the craziest fuck in your entire country can say this, and believe me he's crazier than those wild-eyed, urine-stained cosmotards that shriek about Jesus through a broken bullhorn on downtown street corners. says that the booya is a-ok.... ...just legalize the shit already. I mean, why the fuck do you think we have a 24 hour network that shows nothing but cartoons?
Philly is weird. I feel like it has gone way downhill since i was last here - lots of empty stores, no one out, etc. The public transportation is awful. I picked the wrong Couchsurfing host. Why are they celebrating St Patricks day this weekend? I've eaten a lot of meat on bread. These are my reports from the field.
Ya'll gun haf forgive me if I sound a little rant-y tonight. It's the first time I've had the house to myself since Coke was served in glass bottles so I smoked an entire bowl of pure THC crystals and WOWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW In that town, I imagine they won't STOP celebrating until next sunday. When I was in Chi-town, the days leading up to St. P's were pretty electric and it's a big potato town like Bahston. I guess Bahston has the best St. Patrick's Day, if you don't get beaten in broad daylight and left for dead. So I heard. Other thing I was told: don't go if you're black. To Bahston in general.
OK drunk Tibbers, I need help: My son LOVES the Blue Angels and jets in general. His birthday party is coming up and we are having a "jet" themed cake/party, and there are not any Blue Angel/jet birthday party invitations. Is anyone here talented enough to make a cool jet/Blue Angel invitation?
I am drinking by myself, contemplating getting my ass handed to me by 10 year olds playing an online video game. That's cool for a Saturday night right?..........................
I am on vacation with my family in the Caribbean, it is 11 PM, and everyone but me is asleep. I just spent probably a half hour freaking out because there were footsteps on the porch, and I just solved the mystery. It was the freaking ceiling fan blowing a piece of paper around. Fuck you, fan! Also, my fucking phone seems to have no service despite claiming to have 3 bars? WHAT IS THAT?
Hey, I'm staying home and drinking while playing a 15 year old RPG. So it's a sliding scale, is my point.
Turning this into Rant and Rave.... Rave: if you're from MN, and you like hockey, you know who Lou Nanne is. His smoking hot granddaughter forced her number on me tonight. Rant: I have a gf. It if it was just a year ago.
Fuck me running. I'm about to go into a 12 hour shift off of fours of sleep. This isn't going to go well at all.
No offense, if I was on vacation in the Caribbean, I can't think of anyone in the world I'd want to call. Unless of course, I was:
BOOM! Finished studying. Debating whether or not to go out for a drink or just call it a night and finish a bottle of wine. Hmmm. I'm wearing Uggs and haven't washed my hair since Yoga. Also, it's been raining since noon. I'm staying in.
I've lived in this god damn place for a year and a half now and I'm still surprised every Saturday when the lights come on at the bar at 11:55. That's when most nights really start to get fun and they have to wreck it because of Jesus. Fucking hell. Well fuck you Jesus people, just because you've closed down the bar doesn't mean I can't drink more at home. Seems there are a few people staying in tonight, what are peoples thoughts on a G+ hangout/more drinking?
I just got back from the dirt track races. 5 dollar 24 oz beers in the can, great racing, and TONS of rednecks. Hot country bitches everywhere too. I saw a transmission grenade in a ball of fire not 40 feet from me, and it made my night.